How do you see yourself in your new body?

I really like your post about how you have contemplated this from so many angles. Here is something I found that rang true for me. Maybe it will touch you as it touched me:

You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don't know it, all of that doesn't even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It's not like you have forever, so don't waste any of your seconds, don't throw even one of your moments away.

— C. JoyBell C.

I think that you will find the changes from body contouring physically and emotionally liberating as you did your weight loss surgery. As for rationalizing it to yourself, it did take me a long time to accept spending this much money on myself. But, it is really the cost of a luxury auto for me to get my plastics. Not many people would look at you twice for getting a Lexus, so why should I or anyone else question me for spending that much money on a new body? 

As for the boobs, you may want to consider wearing inserts for a month to see how you like life with large breasts. I am getting a two-stage mastopexy and augmentation. I am glad to do it in two-steps. It gives me the chance to experience life with little boobs and see how I like it. Then if I choose to I can get the implants 3-mos or so down the road.

 

Wow, your post was very moving and well written.  Thank you for sharing so much of yourself.  I just thought I might throw out there a French perspective on breast implants/reductions - not because they know better- but because it is nice to know sometimes (I think) that there are other perspectives out there....  My sister in law - who is of course French - has struggled her whole adult life with the fact that she is completely flat chested.  Less than a double A (I think she is technically a 30-AA).  This has impacted her confidence, her sense of femininity, her sexuality etc.  And after years of suffering with this sense of lacking, at 36 years of age she underwent a small breast augmentation (very small B cup).  This surgery was paid for in its entirety by the French social security system.  This procedure is viewed in France as a medical necessity as it has harmfully impacted her self esteem and caused her mental and emotional harm and diminished her quality of life. She didn't have to prove it to them, they accepted it as fact given her previous breast size.  (BTW, the same is true for breast reductions, anyone over a size D is eligible for a reduction)

I am not saying you should go through a BA or any surgery for that matter, I just thought you should know that there is an entire health system out there that validates our various insecurities about our looks and appreciates the impact it has on our quality of life.

Cheers - Ashley in Belgium

Ah, leave it to the French to appreciate a woman's self image with her breasts. Bravo!

I actually get a lot of compliments on my breasts so I have some concerns about getting the lift that will make them smaller. I've been wearing a sports bra lately to see what I look like with small boobs and it is actually not so bad. My surgeon told me that I may not want the implants. 

I have a grade 3 ptosis and my breasts are firm so I still look decently good with my bra off, and really good with my Vicky's Secret bras on (VS extreme lift is an amazing bra). That said, I am really looking forward to the implants that I will get in stage 2. I am most excited to get my new boobs because it is a part of my body that I identify with my sexuality so very much. I want to look as good nude as I do with my bra on. I gave my surgeon my wish list and pix from his web sites of exactly what I wanted as well as what I don't like. I asked him if he could make me look like the picture and he said yes. Yeah!

I am 6-weeks away from surgery. I had a TT in April and will complete my body work in Oct (except for the implants). 

In Israel we have Socialised Medicine and as such if going by public hospital and HMO and not private, I was never shown any before/after photos by any PS. But then again I was/am basically grateful for most anything fine for/to me.
Mikimi in Israel

I am super picky. 

Thankful that I have a brilliant plastic surgeon. 

I felt the sadness while reading your post about dealing with your sense of self when you were MO, and happiness in the fact your self as has finally been set free. 

My only suggestion to you (and I have always had big boobs and never made me feel particuarly sexy or not sexy) is get breasts that are the correct size for your frame and you will not look overweight.  Sexy is in your head, you don't need to have big boobs to be sexy and big boobs don't make you automatically sexy.  That is something you need to consider.

 

Good Luck!

At the ObGyn's office the other day, the nurse who had seen me half naked during my exam told me how great I looked and that you'd never know that I was a bariatric patient. I was delighted.

But I feel as though my inner thighs are disgusting.

When my surgeon was pulling my skin to show me how they would look he told me they really weren't that bad. I replied that I think they are disgusting. He looked up at me and in the most sincere way shook his head and said no. I was somehow very comforted by that. And I wonder if I see myself clearly.

It makes me wonder how I will feel when I wake up and ALL the excess skin is gone. I don't want to be alone when I see myself for the first time.  I do not know if I will be horrified at the scars, delighted with the change, or somewhere in between. I never felt vulnerable until I was assaulted and I am afraid that as these last layers of fat are removed, I will feel even more vulnerable and exposed. 

 

I currently weigh 127 and I sometimes feel tall and thin, I always wear heels so I am always 5'10 and at this weight size 4.  But there are still some days I take things off after I had put them on because I think they make me look fat.  Size is an allusion for the most part, what and who you are next too can skew the vision you have in your head.

I have been going through my extensive wardrobe and almost nothing fits. I have a few things that I can salvage but I do not know tht I want to do that. When I put thm on I feel like they make me look fat. It is probably just an illusion, as you say... But I bet that I will be getting rid of those former fat clothes regardless.

I am sorry to say this but you make me laugh, because I was where you are when I first had my tt and I had to have an entire new wardrobe to center around the fact I now had a flat stomach as if somehow the entire earth was actually orbitting my super tight abs.  As time wore on it all becomes normal and dressing for my tt doesn't matter anymore.  I mean seriously for years I didn't even own a sweater that was not completely fitted.  Now I buy mens XL sweatershirts and hoodies and I don't care about my stomach.  I know its there.  I have things that show how flat it is, but I don't feel the need to dress to impress every day.  This day will come for you also, and remember my post and chuckle to yourself.  In retrospect it is amusing.