How do you see yourself in your new body?

I see you, Robyn. You are not invisible to me. And to the people that matter, I am sure you are the most important person in the world. Compliments on one's new look from women is nice, it builds the ego, validates that we have left the ranks of fat girl... but with that territory come stares of jealousy or something scornful from women, too. Appreciative comments from men can be nice, or they can feel lewd. So, I am trying to show it is not all rosy. 

Within weeks of getting my new body I was sexually assaulted. I wonder if I had my disfigured body if it would have happened. It is doubtful. Sometimes being invisible seems safer. 

You were assaulted!!?? I am so sorry to hear that! I hope you are okay.

I have felt the unwanted attention from when I initally lost all the weight. I became angry at the world, a world up until then that I thought was not that bad. But then all of a sudden I was got attention, I worked at the same place for 10 years! Lived in the same city! But all of a sudden, doors were being held open for me, people were helping me to my car, helping me unload things. It mad me sad and to this day I am sad about it. I try not to let it bother my everyday existence but sometimes it creeps back in.

I had my anchor TT July 24th and will NEVER do another PS procedure. I was in so much pain and still am with the swelling. I just got my last drain out Monday. I suffered from depression and I knew that was a side effect but I really hope it goes away soon.

I find it weird to look at myself in the mirror, I look different (obviously) I have always had a belly nearly my entire life and to have it instantly gone it just looks alienish...

I cannot really explain it...

Thank you. It was traumatic emotionally but I am OK now.

Yes, the TT was very painful but once you are on the other side of that pain you really do not remember it. I was aware of that early in my surgery and I recall wishing that I could speed time or jump into the future were I did not have pain and had a great tummy! The pain goes away and you will forget it quickly enough. This I promise!

 

How is your recovery now thwt you are a little further out? 

I know how you feel!
Recently while waiting at a bus stop a young man hit on me and I've never had that before. I've always been overweight and just the week before this guy hit on me I had had my skirts altered do when he hit on me I thought he was really into me... but no. I let him into my emotions home and was physical with him and when I junked into my shower for all or two minutes he went into my handbag and stole my money (hard-earned and tithed - more than 1000SH - and I had given a friend's married daughter a discount for my babysitting) which was all the money notes/bills and checkbook in a denim cloth pencil case. He was still in my home when I got out if the shower and I noticed my bag unzippered and called him on it. I even made him pull down his jeans! However I did not examine his socks or sneakers. Thank GD he didn't know I keep my credit card somewhere else in my bag as well as small change/coins.
I felt duped stupid naive embarrassed. I told one friend and as it was 23:00 and no buses it took me five days to get up the courage to ask a friend to take me to the police and file a claim and cancel my checks. Of course nothing yet on the money being returned. This happened this past 18 July.
Since then I have another job and Thank GD have earned already 2000SH but I don't have regular work and no guarantee when I will have work. I need this money as my dog-ears most likey will not be covered by HMO although I am fighting to get them to approve the procedure that their Head Plastic dude of the entire HMO of Israel has already decided that my dog-ears on the dudes of my breasts are only cosmetic and he doesn't give a rat'sass that I am in pain. My PS works in a hospital and as I have had wound healing issues - it was decided that my dog-ears would only be done as a Day Surgery with Local Anesthetic and one side at a time. I think my PS fought the Plastics Department for my benefit help and medical safety. The procedure is scheduled for 22 October.
BTW I think the dollar is 3.6SH. Doesn't really matter in dollars as I am the one that lives on shekels.
So we have desire for better appearing body
Actually getting improvement
Possible desire for compliments/approval from others
Fear of body dysmorphia
Accepting our new bodies and feeling good/better
And then being used/abused/taken advantage.
And we have each other on this Board.
Mikimi in Israel

My husband told me to bite the guy's lip off if I ever see him again. So, that is my advice to you, too. 

Right now I am haivng an issue because the hospital that my surgeon operates out of is requiring a mandatory biopsy of my breast tissue when I get the lift. WTF!!!! I am challenging them on it on the grounds of informed consent (the hospital not my surgeon). I WANT TO DICTATE WHAT I DO WITH MY BODY NOT HAVE SOMEONE DO WITH IT AS THEY PLEASE. 

 

Wow a biopsy?  Mine just required a recent mammogram -  within one year.

That's the thing. I just had a breast exam with my ObGyn and I am fine. I also am getting a mammogram. There is no medical necessity for the pathology on the breast tissue. I posted this question on real self. Check out what the surgeons say: http://www.realself.com/question/breast-tissue-biopsy-mandat ory-mastopexy?utm_source=notification&utm_medium=email&utm_c ampaign=QAns&utm_content=H3.CTA.Answers#1066403

I am not done fighting the hospital on this.

 

I am extremely upset over the breast tissue biopsy mandate from HUMC. It is medically unnecessary. I spoke with Dr. Capella about it and posted the issue on real self. About 10 plastic surgeons have said it is a ridiculous policy that it would be extremely hard to detect breast cancer in breast skin that is removed during a mastopexy. Beyond that, I have had a breast exam and will undergo a mammogram. If lumps we detected then we might have cause for a biopsy. But they have not been. This is a completely unnecessary test. I have tried to fight the hospital on it and have been unsuccessful so far.

I am upset because this is my body and I do not want someone else to dictate to me what they are going to do to it. 

I'm so glad somebody posted about this!  I feel like sometimes people either a) don't want to hear me "complain" about these differing aspects of accepting a new body anymore, and b) I'm afraid to mention it to other people (ie surgeons) because they will immediately think me unprepared for this kind of transformation rather than just allowing me to have the space to appreciate all the big life changes that have taken place.  That's why I love OH.  It's a safe harbor for both.  

Allow me to contribute my story.

I was fat all my life.  Only now am I developing a different physical identity.  I can remember have stretch-marks on my stomach at 8 years old.  I shopped off the plus sized dress racks.  I got older and my weight gain kept pace.  I never was anything but fat.  As my peers started to take an interest in dating, I became deeply entrenched in my self-created identity of the "cerebral" one, the nerd, and the "friend", and the "funny fat girl."  I became more comfortable with this identity to the point where I was painfully self-conscious of undressing, trying on clothes, etc.  One big contributing factor to this, beyond the weight, was the fact that I have no boobs.  Surely there must have been a cosmic mishap!  How on earth could I be 250+ and have a nearly washboard flat chest?  But this was probably okay because I would have been uncomfortable with that attention.

Then came weightloss surgery.  Yes, I had always felt somewhat suffocated by my "fat suit" and the "real me" wanted to be out for all the world to see.  At the same time I worried if I had really become the person wearing the mask.  Allow me to elaborate.  What if my identity had forever become intertwined with my perception of myself at that weight?  I worried about, and nearly canceled surgery, whether I could synthesize a new body and how the world saw me with how I saw myself.  As it turned out, I could.  My fears were more phantom than real.  I found out that the weightloss was both physically and emotionally liberating, allowing me to be the version of myself I had always wanted to be.

That brings us up to the present.  I am now contemplating plastic surgery.  Some of these same questions have re-presented themselves.  There are also new concerns.  The new concerns deal primarily with my trying to rationalize plastic surgery to myself.  I feel the need to give a reason why I should be entitled to a smooth stomach, perhaps big boobs.  "Who do you think you are?!" I ask myself!  Unhelpful to my case for plastics is the fact that I cannot explain it through its virtue as a medical necessity.  Nope, this is purely cosmetic.  I don't look that bad.  But the more troubling questions I pose to myself have to deal with, once again, how would I handle the new look?  I am not so concerned about the stomach--my poor, frowny tummy saddens me and reminds me of all the pain of being overweight.  It's the one chain I still carry.  But boobs, that's a different and more complex question.  It's because it causes me to confront--for the first time, really--being attractive, even sexy.  I will grant you that the last couple years I've received my attention since my weightloss.  And of course my fiance thinks I'm attractive.  But I'm still more in the "cute" or "pretty" categories than the "sexy" one.  And I'm not sure if I'm willing to accept that change, to have that kind of attention.  As I alluded to earlier, this is a source of attention I never had EVER.  I don't feel sexy and feeling sexy makes me uncomfortable.  Is that a product of my chestlessness?  I am inclined to think so.  But what if I just cannot handle that attention?  Clearly, then, a boob job is not the way to go and would make me miserable!  How can I be sure?  This same identity dilemma that plagued me in deciding weightloss surgery revisits me now.  

One more thing to add--boobs also scare me and make me incredibly anxious because that's been the part, the only part, of my body that was always thin.  Nowadays I feel very thin because I look small and athletic on top.  It's not that I want to look flat-chested and athletic but I DO NOT WANT TO LOOK FAT.  Occasionally I'll see a thin woman with a large chest in loose-fitting clothes who looks stocky.  This is my worst nightmare.  I want nothing more than to never be fat again.