Surgeon left me dazed and confused about my surgery Tues,

So I had my pre op visit Thurs. for my abdominialplasty op on Tues. The surgeon just really doesnt know what he is going to be able to do. Let me say that he is HIGHLY recommended and that I have researched him on several sites and his medical grade is the highest in my state. It is me and my freakishly large apron and then I have almost a second apron just past my natural waist. My belly button is hanging down about where my pubic hair starts and my apron hangs almost to my knees. I cared so much weight in my stomach and have lost almost 200 lbs. I am a mess. He doesnt know if he will do my muscles until he gets in there. He doesnt know if I will keep my belly button. He doesnt know if he can do anything about the large roll of skin at my waist. He really cant see or feel anything because I have so much going on. He is going to have to go in and make a conservative cut and then get in there and see what he has to work with. I asked him if I was a nightmare. He looked at me for a minute then said no but you are definitely a challange. I feel like he wanted to say yes to the nightmare but didnt want to hurt my feelings. I told him I knew about 5 woman who wanted a TT and that they were waiting to see my results. He just bow his head and shook it and said I wasnt a good candidate for that. I know and have been told that I look like a freak because of my stomach. I know he is going to take off everything that hangs on my legs for sure and that will make me look so much better. He told me I will look a lot better when he gets through. I was told by several people he is a perfectionist. Maybe he just knows it isnt going to be his perfect work. Oh he does know he will be lifting my mons some. He just doesnt know how much. He does not lipo with a TT or Abdominalplasty. He says that it hinders the healing process to bruise the fat in the surrounding areas that give blood supply to the incision. He will do lipo about 8 months after surgery when the healing is complete. I feel confident in his abililty to do a good job. The whole thing just made me feel like I was even more of a freak than I originally thought. That I am doomed to have a ugly body. I mean I have been massively overweight my entire life. I was fat at 2 yrs old. I got up to over 400 lbs. I feel great. I get around and do whatever I want. I have energy I am healthy all my labs are good. I didnt even want to stomach of a 18 yr. old. ( okay who wouldnt but that was not what I was expecting ) I would just like to have the stomach of a normal 50 yr old. I just dont want a bunch of rolls of skin hanging but maybe when you have abused your body your whole life normal is just not a reasonable outcome. Insurance is paying for this. I will not have the out of pocket money to continue the journey to make it perfect later. I know that I cant see my weight loss now because all I see is my stomach that is no where near as big as it was but still looks like it is to me. I am afraid that if a still have this huge roll at my waist, I still wont see my weight loss. Even though I have lost almost 200 lbs every time I look in the mirror I feel like a failure. I am afraid that if I continue to feel like a failure that it will lead to overeating. ( I had gastric bypass so eating to many times a day because you sure cant overeat at a meal. ) I know in the past when I have hit a plateu that I couldnt break I would end up giving up on my diet. I dont want to give up because I still look fat when I am through with all this. Please pray for me!

 

Thinking of you.  I think it's a good thing your surgeon doesn't want to over-promise the results.  But no matter what, it will be a huge improvement.  Keep remembering how far you've come and this is just one more step down your new path. 

You know in the beginning of this PS journey all I wanted was the bottom 10 or so inches that hang down my leg off. Somewhere along the way I guess I lost focus on what really makes me unhappy and started wanting it all.  Maybe deep way down deep inside I had some secret fantasy about the flat, beautifully trim belly. I know that is not possible in my logical, rash mind. You are right. I would rather he be honest. I would hate to wake up thinking I was getting something just to find out I didnt.

7 years ago when I first began dreaming of and saving for plastic surgery, I dreamed of having a body like Anna Nicole Smith. That's a high aspiration for anyone, let alone someone who underwent massive weight loss and was still overweight, LOL! When I met with my PS I told him that I knew I would not be able to wear a bikini after the procedures and he asked me, "Why not?" 

I recently had a TT and mons lift. I was not sure what to expect as far as results but I knew that I would not have a body like Anna Nicole. Geez, it would be great if surgery did that, Ha! That is not to say that I could not have a body like that - just that PS would not take me that far. I would really have to diet and exercise like mad. I know this because when I was younger. I went from 185lbs to having a 36-23-34 figure. So, it is possible, although I am not willing to make that kind of commitment long term. 

Anyway, I am thrilled with my TT so far. I am 6-weeks post op and have lost 5" from my waist and I am down a size in pants and shirts. I did not have a large panni - They removed 6lbs of fat and skin from me. But it made a huge difference. I recall sitting in the PS office and looking at my before pix of just my torso. I asked, "THAT's MY body?" He shook his head yes. I replied, "Ewwwwww." At my one week post op when I saw myself for the first time in his full length mirror in his office, I was flying on cloud 9. I was super excited to see my body looking normal. I wrote about it here: http://www.healthcentral.com/obesity/c/276918/160598/bariatr ic-life-tells-tummy While I surely do not have a figure like Anna Nicole, I feel so thrilled with my new body. I like catching glimpses of myself in the mirror when I shower. I love that I look sexy in bikini panties. I hated my tummy and mons before. I was ashamed of them. If I was not married to my husband who loved my body as it was, but rather a single girl looking for a relationship, I do not think that I could get naked in front of a man with my body the way that I looked. I was ashamed even to have the PS and PA see my body pre op... but not when I went back for my post op. I think I could have ran around the office and showed the entire staff my new body. Yes, I was that happy and no longer ashamed of my grotesque body.

The point of all this is that I think you will be elated just as I was/am. Someone on this board told me a TT is life changing. She was right! Good luck on enjoying your new body!!!

I can empathize with your feelings. Years ago, I summoned up the courage to go to a PS that was highly recommended in my area. I was overweight but not obese like I later got to. I was about 170 lbs at the time, the PS, looked at me and said that I would not get an "aesthetic" result and would never be a "beach bunny". Well, I hadn't asked to be a beach bunny, but just wanted to be told that I could be improved after having children and saggy breasts and fat in my stomach. I was really hurt and offended, and felt grossly deformed after that, and gained more weight through the years until I reached 246 and need WLS after many repeated diets through the years.

This time after losing 116 lbs, and being a normal BMI for the first time in a super long time, I went for several PS consultations. They were so much nicer, and much more positive in their responses. Even still, a couple of them, started telling me all these procedures I needed. I mean they were suggesting a massive overhaul, from top to bottom. I went in feeling like only my breasts and stomach were a mess, but left thinking everything was a mess. I have less skin than the average WLS patient, and was considered a lightweight, so I can only imagine the insensitivity that a PS can have with someone with a lot more excess skin.

I think in there attempt to be "honest" about the potential outcomes of surgery, they take it too far sometimes, and do not realize that we already have body image issues, and do not need new ones added.

Yeah I dont need anyone to tell me anything about my body. I am aware of every flaw. Seen or unseen.  He was great at my original consult.  His office staff worked really hard to get me approved. I was denied the first time. I dont think he meant to be so transparent about his frustration. I saw the body language and kind of pulled at him. I really dont think he meant to make me feel worse about myself than I already do.

I sure wish we could talk .  I had same thing but my dr did anchor cut with lbl I have not belly button but don't miss it. Not a big deal.  I am thrilled with my results and I had students do my work ask him about that anchor cut.

I did ask him about the anchor cut. He said in my case it would not help. because of the way my stomach is I would have a poochy lump at the top in between my breast. He said I would look almost like I had a third breast. I am just weirdly made.

First off- I am in awe of your journey!
Be grateful that your PS is as honest as can be.
I am fifty years old, rny (revision from permanent Band Surgery from 1992) that was ion 3 Feb,08 and had HMO paid-for abdominoplasty w/o lipo. A year later a breast lift. I can only have plastics if my HMO pays for it as I live off of Disability.
I feel as if I will never have the body I "want" to be slimmer proportionately but what I have now is an improvement over what I once had. I am still not a normal bmi but everything feels like a competition of numbers. We should not define ourselves by the number that shows on the scale- but so often we do.
I live in Israel but I have good phone package deals and I would be more than happy to call and talk with you at your convenience - if you want. If so, then email me [email protected] .
Israel is seven hours later than NY.
Mikimi in Israel

Thank you I have written your email address down. I will be super busy until my operation. I spent 10 hours cleaning carpet today along with washing every rug, blanket, sheet, towel, etc, etc. I also finished painting my shed before 8 o'clock this morning. It is now 10:50 pm and I am going to go clean the guest room because my husbands aunt is coming to town tomorrow on top of everything else.