Help!!!! How do I tell dates about what I have done........

Pam

I might say handle it this way...Meet him once for something relatively quick and casual. Coffee, perhaps. Meet him a second time if that goes well for something equally casual but not quite so quick. Perhaps a late lunch on a Saturday or a weekend brunch followed by a bit of a walk? At that point, you should have an idea about whether or not you feel interested in truly dating him. If you find that dating him is something you want to try, write him an email explaining your history of weight trouble, and surgeries. Be honest about (but don't exaggerate!) the scarring. Tell him you're happy to answer any questions he might have, within reason, about the procedures you've had and their results.

Basically, what I'm saying boils down to this. If you think a relationship that might include being naked with him may be something you want, okay. Let him know upfront so he isn't too surprised. If you think a close friendship might be possible even if nudity seems like something you wouldn't want, you may as well tell him because you may want to go swimming with him someday. Or want to wear shorts & a tank top if you're doing something outside on a hot day. If you meet him casually a couple of times and just figure "Meh...", then just don't bother to say anything. What would be the point? But if you're going to keep him around much in any capacity, you may as well tell him. If only so you don't end up dreading his hearing something or your letting something slip.

Good luck! I was wondering how I would eventually handle this situation, but I met my fiance quite unexpectedly when I still weighed 270 (I was nearly 420 day of surgery), and so I suppose my having to deal with this in a sexual capacity was circumvented. He'll know about my scars because he'll be going with me when I get 'em! I guess I kinda lucked out.