Help!!!! How do I tell dates about what I have done........

LOL dating scenarios and others "what the hell do you mean you dont want a ****tail and fried chicken fingers and burgers for happy hour?!!"  - 

 

*Most* men are less complicated than we think - but there will always be those few a**holes who make a big deal out of it and make us feel like crap. Just....avoid those at all costs :)

I have no experience in this area.  However, I'm a wise woman of 40 something that has the most amazing husband on the planet.  I got that amazing husband at my highest weight.  This man watched me struggle with weight for all the years he knew me.  He was scared but supported my decision to have WLS.  He vowed to participate in my lifestyle change.  He lovingly gave up a huge chunk of our savings for me to have plastic surgery.  He loves me the same today as he did before.

My lesson here is this:  When the time comes for you to find "the one", NOTHING will matter physically.  That person will love your soul, your insides.  In the meantime, if you just wanna have fun, then say nothing unless asked (like when they see the scars).

YOU are so special and deserve to be loved and respected-just please make sure that whomever you choose is worthy of YOU!

Kim, when I read your post, it actually choked me up.  How BEAUTIFUL.  I love the story of you and your marriage and to know that men like your husband actually exists is such a nice thing to hear.  I have not met one so far.  The "saying" in my sig line is EXACTLY my hope, and my dream.  And thank you for the validation of who or who I should not allow into my life.....and of my worthiness. I am printing out the lesson and will read it often to help me along this crazy dating thing.  Thanks again.

I was almost 55 when I had my DS, then 58 when I had my PS.  I've only really dated one man since.  He'd noticed my arm scars while dancing so I explained that I was covered in scars from all the skin removal.  When we eventually disrobed, the scars didn't phase him a bit.

There are others that have had awful experiences with men and their scars, for me it my scars bother you, just move on.  I respect myself too much to allow a man to dictate how I should feel about my body and what I look like w/o clothes.  I like me, if you don't, there's the door.  Maybe at 60, I just don't give a rats ass what some guy may think of my scars.  Maybe that's why I'm really not dating now?  hmmm 

I wouldn't bring it up on the first several dates, unless you are ready to jump in the sack.

I love your perspective of not giving a rat's ass.  Sounds like I need to toughen up.  The basis of my concern is If dating leads to intamacy  - which in my book will means that I have feelings towards him.... and if he rejects me, I know that I will be OK, but I admit that I will be very hurt.  If I just wanted a roll in hay, that's the easy part. But I am looking for a relationship. and if he thinks my scars are gross, I admit, that will hurt me.  

You don't say how old you are.  I would suspect that a younger man would react differently than an "old fart" like yours truly.  Having had the "privilege" of seeing several ladies both pre and post plastics I can tell you doing the "before" and "after" comparisons can be quite an experience. You can always tell him that you were sawed in half at a magic show and the lame ass magician forgot the hocus pocus to put you back together and they had to break out the needle and thread!

LOL, I am 48.  That is a good one :-)

my story is very similar to yours Kim!! I could have typed that response word for word!

Brooke, what has been a man's response to your scars????

Well I'm married. I got married to my husband at my heaviest weight. He's never said anything about my weight or my shape bothering him and even when I lost all my weight and had my sagging belly flap never once did he say anything negative. He always just said I look great exactly as I am. Now that I've had my tummy tuck he is always telling me how great I look....it helps that I *feel* great. He's been there for me through it all, from biggest to smallest and never made me feel gross, or bad as a result of my weight, my sagging skin or my tummy tuck scar. He just loves me for me. He always has.