Highs and lows of massive weight loss and plastics

Just blogging my thoughts / feelings, only those that have gone through this understand. My friends and family don't get it....

It's been over 2 months since I had my LBL and I love my new flat tummy. The love of not having the skin hanging on my tummy certainly gives me a high. The high of putting on clothes that flatter my waist every morning - I am very blessed.   Of course, there's dealing with being patient until I can get the rest of my body fixed. This is where the lows come in. All the extra skin... Hanging on my arms, breasts, thighs, butt, calves, fingers, feet, etc. The lows of accepting that no matter how much I work out and no matter how many surgeries I have, I did this to my body by overeating and the yo-yo dieting for over 10 years.  The difficulty accepting the compliments of how great I look because I know what I look like under the clothes.  That's the biggest mind game... And the key to surviving all of this... Acceptance. Acceptance in how my body looks Now, how it will look after surgeries, and letting go of what I thought I'd look like after losing weight.

I am not a psycologist....but the tone of your post suggests that you need to work on loving you for YOU....not what the shell looks like.  There is a chance you'll always be focusing on "what isn't perfect" instead of just enjoying the progress you've made-which you did with lots of hard work and determination.

You shouldn't dwell on the past....shoulda coulda woulda is a waste of time.  Focus on the present, and how good you look and feel.  Love you for you-plastic surgery is just window dressing.  Also, when someone compliments you, they mean it.  They really don't care what you look like under the clothes-and that doesn't matter anyway.  

I realize plastic surgery helps many people feel "whole" again, but there are some that just keep looking for perfection and that will never come in their eyes.  You are successful and should be very proud of what you've accomplished.  Enjoy life in your new body!!  Don't waste another moment wishing you were different.

BTW, I'm scheduled for a LBL on November 9th and am scared to death....but I can honestly say I absolutely love me as I am.....this will be an enhancement and will remove the flapping skin which will make running much more comfy. 

I can definitely relate. MOST of the time I love me just as I am, but sometimes I still wish I could get implants and a thigh lift. But unless I win the lottery, it's probably not going to happen. The skin does bother me when i exercise but I have found good support capris for my thighs which helps.

Girl!  You look amazing!  And I'm guessing you don't let the fact that you'd like these things control your happiness....

I do hope you win that lottery one day so you can do it though!  I want to win it too so I can travel and buy a vacation home at the beach!

Thanks, Kim!! I really am fine with myself 99% of the time. And it would probably help my odds if I actually played the lottery...haha

Can you make any suggestions.  Due to the stock market, Europe and Obama, I shouldn't go there, so I am having to put off plastics a while longer.  I'm so disappointed.  Umtil things turn around in my portfolio, there will be no plastics for me.  So I bought my first shape wear the other day.  It was at Target, so I did not have any help.  Do you recommend any thing specific?

 I think you wrote this very eloquently...and it is very true for most of us WLS post-ops...

I yo-yoed a lot also...and spent a lot of time thinking about the next diet, being on the next diet, falling off the diet, and so on.....I think that for me, and all the years I spent envisioning getting all the extra weight off, and becoming skinny, and being able to wear a bikini proudly...as the years passed by, I never thought of the the fact, that I would have extra saggy skin or not look quite as great in a bikini or naked when I finally reached that elusive goal...

It's like having this fairy tale in your mind, that doesn't quite match up, when you see the loose skin...or you bend over, and it is hanging there...

And I find that I obsess over the skin and want the PS, and I can imagine, that when I see the areas fixed and don't have the money to get other areas done, that I will be very frustrated and down about it...I've already been going through this....it is quite normal, I think, and has nothing to do with not loving ourselves...I am very proud of myself, and have great self esteem....but it is a disappointment nonetheless to be at a weight I was in high school, but not look anything like I did then..but of course, some of it has to do with aging also, that the fat kind of hid....

I will add I have forgiven myself 100% for letting myself get overweight in the first place. Eating helped me get through some difficult times. 100 of my excess pounds were gained the 2 years my dad so valiently battled esophogeal cancer. I had to be strong for him and my mom and then I'd go home and eat myself into oblivion.

I proudly tell anyone my tale of losing weight and plastic surgery. I'd say I'm a minor celebrity in our part of town (everyone seems to have heard my story). No shame, no regrets. Everything I have been through in my life has helped create the person I am now. And I think I'm pretty awesome.

I hope you can find peace and acceptance, too...

Completely understand...my Dad had throat cancer and died 3 years later from lung cancer.

I can totally relate.. I've had major issues with adjustments to becoming single, switching jobs, major weight loss and major plastic surgeries all in one year! I've made a lot of progress with this by reading literature on the subject, doing therapy, and talking regularly with other WLS/Plastic surgery folks who can relate.

Feel free to email me and we can chat on this further. It's easier said than done to deal with your whole reality being shifted! People can say you have to work on loving YOU, but the HOW is the hard part (and I do have a degree in psychology. It's not so easy to unravel why you got there in the first place.

It took me a while but I did find a way through several obstacles and I'd be happy to share with you what I found worked successfully for me. I had totally low self esteem and now am doing so much better.. like in the last year totally transformed and in the last 3 months progress has drastically increased.

Sometimes it can be hard to take the compliments. It can feel like.. wtf I'm still the same good, decent, smart funny person I used to be.. where were the non-superficial compliments on what a good person I was, how kind I was.. how smart and hard working? Why do I only get compliments and attention when I fall in line with society's beauty standards?

How much do I want to fall in line with those superficial standards.. ?? All of these things were things that I thought about.. grappled with, struggled with. Also when you fix one area, then it becomes so much more obvious the other areas that are "broken". I had a totally epiphany after surgery finally understanding why people end up with such obvious plastic surgeries with teeny noses and giant boobs.

It's because there is this belief that if a small nose is better, then an even smaller nose must be even better, and bigger boobs are even better. Perception gets distorted, emotions take over, society pressures come into play, etc. If a person doesn't have a logical rational centering, they can totally get taken over by the "more is better" mentality.