Family's violent reaction to consult

I got some flack as well - my husband actually said something along the lines of that if I have a complication and die, how is he going to tell the kids that it was for vanity - uggghhhh...boy was that a huge blowup!  I really let him have it for that one.  

You have to do what makes YOU happy.  I am so thankful that I did it and I am now in the healing process.  Don't ask them - tell them - it isn't their life and body, it's yours!  My boys (11,13, 15, and 28) will not even look at my scars - I tried to show them and they freaked - LMAO - they don't get it and probably never will, and I don't care - I didn't do it for them, I did it for me!  My husband is much more supportive now.  He was jealous of all the changes/attention that I was getting and to be honest, we almost divorced.  Now, he is much better - I think he realizes that I did it for myself - not to impress anyone else.

Allison

my husband actually said something along the lines of that if I have a complication and die, how is he going to tell the kids that it was for vanity - uggghhhh...boy was that a huge blowup!  I really let him have it for that one.  

 

  That complication comment and you dying for vanity was a low blow! Boo!

Oh yea.- he definitely regretted saying that one!  He did apologize after the fact...

 I am so glad that I have the complete opposite in my family.  In my past life (prior to WLS) I probably would never have considered PS, but my thoughts have changed lately.  Mainly because my daughter is so supportive of me and my journey.  
As a matter of fact, we went for my first consult together!  With the PS that had done her mommy makeover a couple of years ago.  I took care of her during her recovery and it was pretty tough for her, but she says she would do it over again in a heartbeat.  Little did I know then that I would be seriously considering PS for myself in the future.
She is all about getting me feeling and looking good so that I feel good about myself.  I guess I have never felt really good about myself in the past, so this is all new territory.  Although I am definitely not into pain, I am getting excited about what the future holds with a remodeled body.
When it all boils down, you have to do what is right for you, not what others would like.
I feel like I am vastly improved since WLS, but could be even better with PS.  No, I am not doing it to look like a super model or anything like that.  I just want to feel 'normal' and I think everybody has that right.  
If you had any other deformed body part, would they give you he** if you were going to get it fixed?  I think not.  I see this as a body deformity, not a vanity issue.  And I am going to get my deformity fixed.

My 38 year old son was my biggest supporter of getting the plastics.  He knows how hard I've worked to get the weight off and watched the years of not feeling good about myself.

The only part he was worried about was the facelift.  He didn't want me to come out looking scarey.  He has a famous acting teacher that looks scarey so it got him afraid of my outcome.

I told Dr. Suaceda that Zach doesn't want me to look scarey and he said no problem.  Post op when my entire body was done and I was getting ready to go home, he said Zach might be really mad at him.  When I asked why, he said he might be mad that he gave his mom a smoking hot body.  I had to really laugh.  I told him Zach would be delighted for me, and he is.  I wish I had a daughter so I could show her!!  :)

I can be your adopted daughter!!  You are looking... 

 

Jas,

I am not sure what your religious or spiritual beliefs are but I am going to pass on a statment that my pastor said once not to long ago in church.

"When God has something amazing in store for you, the Devil will use your family even your children to put stumbling blocks in your way and take shots at your self esteem to keep you from recieving your reward." 

With that being said. What date is your Surgery?

I love it, and know it is true.  No date.  I have to work on getting 6 months of rash documentation from my PCP.  I'm thinking maybe by october 2012 I'll be ready for surgery.

 I knew my family would have plenty to say so I chose to tell my children days before my surgery & my mother the night before. I also made the decision to have ps & then informed my dh. Prior to my ALS I never would have done that. This was a decision about my body, the problems the excess skin caused me & yes, how self conscience I was about feeling I couldn't hide the fat.

When I told my dh he felt it was totally a vanity issue & we should save the money. For the most part he gets it now, but he too I think is jealous. Like Allison said, we get a lot of attention & that takes getting used to for them.

My 27 y/o son has been extremely supportive. He told me he never thought my arms were bad but if they bothered me then that was good enough of a reason for him. The 15 y/o son didn't want me to have any facial work otherwise he didn't care. My 13y/o daughter said she was sorry I was going to go through so much pain, but went on to say your going to look better than me. She was also concerned with what I would be telling people. Girls are definitely different. Just as I expected, I explained why I was having the surgery to my mother (rashes, discomfort, etc.) she ended the conversation with "I hope everything goes well with your cosmetic surgery."

This is about you & no one else. Like you I have found I evolved into a different person. I love the woman that is emerging!