Family's violent reaction to consult

My consult went well.  I liked the doctor and his staff.  He performs the surgery at the same facility where I had my gastric bypass done.  I got pricing for tummy tuck and brachioplasty.  I know what I would need to get insurance coverage for the tummy tuck.  The doctor and staff answered all my questions patiently and thoroughly.  I got to see before and after pictures of other people's surgeries.

Then I went home and got holy hell from my children for even considering these surgeries.  I know they are dealing with their own issues.  They are afraid of surgery and the dangers of anesthesia.  They don't want me to undergo surgery for reasons other than health.  But I am also sensing some jealousy and some real fear around possible personality changes.  I have to admit that my personality did change big time after WLS.  I don't take 1/8th the amount of crap I did when I was a fat mom.  Soon after my WLS I divorced my husband and moved us in with Bill.  I became a bit of a ***** for a while.  And, of course, I developed alcoholism, which threw everybody for a loop. 

My youngest, age 18, said she doesn't want a "plastic mom."  She pictures a Barbie doll from LA (her words).  If you knew me, you'd have to laugh.  Yeah, I might be able to get a flat stomach, but Barbie?  I'm 52.  I'll still have saggy boobs, a droopy butt and this turkey neck thing.  My 20 year old said she doesn't think surgery for vanity is a good thing. 

I have some healthy reasons for wanting these surgeries, and if I am totally honest with myself, some unhealthy reasons around my insecurity, pride and vanity.  I'm only in the information gathering stage, although I will be seeing my PCP to start documenting rashes, etc. in case I decide in 6 months that I really want to go through with this.  I didn't even tell Bill I had this consult yet.  I want to be able to take some time to figure out what I want first, before I present it to him. 

Go for the Plastics if you can afford it.
You deserve to feel good in your new body!
Mikimi in Israel

As mothers we tend to live our lives taking care of everyone around us. There comes a time when we need to take care of US!! Seems like your children are old enough to take care of themselves now. You need to do what is right for you and not worry about what others think about it, especially your children. Until they have walked through the process that we have been through they will never understand.
Take care you you girl!!

I don't think my son even noticed I had surgery let alone voice any opinion rather it was a good or bad idea, but then again he doesn't really notice or comment on much of anything I do.  I had no one to answer too so making these decisions wasn't really an issue.  My bf was supportive and said you do what makes you happy.  I had an extended tt with muscle tightening, neck lift and brachioplasty.  The tt was the best money I ever spent.  Ever. Period.  Having a flat stomach is priceless in my opinion, I don't care what the rest of my body looks like as long as my stomach is flat I am happy. 

Interestingly, my son, who was also at the dinner table last night, said he had absolutely no opinion on the matter.  Must be a girl thing!

If I talk about it or anything, my son says its gross and changes the subject.  My boyfriend would never look at my incisions and won't look at my scars.  It's got to be a male thing.  When I watch 600lb life he has to be asleep or he makes me turn it off, because he refuses to watch the medical portion of the show.  The funny part is I am the one who faints at the sight of blood.  lol

My son is still young but I can relate to a lot of other things you are saying. It's hard to want to feel better but also hard to admit to a certain amount of vanity, and sometimes a bit of unrealistic expectations maybe.

I've been struggling with this myself, after going through my own separation like you. Ultimately I realized I deserve this, and while it sucks not to have support, they don't live in my body so they don't get to tell me what I do with it. It's my life.

Well, you know what they say about opinions...they are like a-holes, everybody has one.

I told everybody everything. I'm pretty blatant like that. However, I did not solicit nor engage anyone's opinion on my journey. Not for WLS or Plastics.

My body, my money, my life.

And I for damn sure do not want to hear opinions from someone who is 18 or 20.
(but that's just me.)

In the end, you are the grown-up here. You have your own reasons and that's it.

Do what makes you happy.

"My body, my money, my life."
Thank you for this.
It is exactly what I needed to hear, in the exact words I am now going to embrace. Maybe I'll make a t-shirt and wear it around my negative people...

To expand on your thoughts--my dad used to say opinions are like a-holes--we all have them and they all stink! Wise man!

I love your frankness and candor!