Mean & jealous girls after weight loss & plastic's!

I was looking trough old post to see peoples experience an saw one that sparked my interest so I thought I would tell my mean girl story. I had dueodenal swithch August 4th 2009 an lost 200lb's & got a LBL an ancore TT January 4th 2012. I'm about 9 days out of surgery. I can totally relate with the jealous friends issues! Through my weight loss every time I got close to or passing my friends size they would freak out on me. An then after time pass's they go back to normal. There were 3 bigger friends that were horrible to me. Here is some quotes I had to deal with: "You went an got weight loss surgery an every one don't even notice you lost weight." <An I was 100lb's down @ that time! "He will never like you like that he knew you when you were big an he will always see you as a fat girl. So don't even talk to him." "Now that you lost weight don't go an be a huge **** cause I know that you haven't really had any guy like you or boyfriends." <An this girl was my roommate an lived with 3 of my boyfriends! I was actual told by my friends that I could not talk or acted happy about my new body in front of my one friend or they didn't want me to come out cause of the drama! They have all gone back to normal but our friendships will never be the same. An that's just a few out of many mean things I had to go through. Im 28 year old maybe cause I'm in my 20's is why I had so many mean girls but damn you think they would be happy for me I lost 200lb's. With that said I thought that was all over with my weight loss evened out for over a year now. But no now that I got plastics my own "skinny one" her whole life best friend Sister is treating me just like all those jealous girls!!!!!! Won't answer my phone calls or call me back, irritated by every thing I say or do, will not help me recover after surgery. An she was living with me an now barley even comes home! I know this will pass to but it gona effect me an my sisters relationship just like all my jealous friends. Its sad it has to be like this but that's just part of this process for some of us. Time does cure every thing. I have finally won my own personal war an I'm gona celebrate if they like it or not!

I know what you mean, but we have to remember they are not true friends, True friends recognize how much work you have had to go through to become that smaller, healthier person. They recognize that because of your efforts, you will live longer and happier. They appauld your results and tell you how lovely you are!
Celebrate! You are a butterfly and you have worked through the tough part to get those lovely wings!
Fly!

I agree with Dee. These are not true friends. Find new ones. Maybe I've been lucky, but no one has said anything mean to me throughout my weight loss or plastic surgery journey. I did have one friend who also had weight loss surgery who never got as thin as me, who has admitted she is jealous of me. When I had my plastics, she promised she'd help with my kids so they did not go stir crazy with me over the summer while I recouperated. She kind of disappeared. But I got through it. We are not close anymore.

Try to detrermine if you are doing anything to warrent their comments. If you go around bragging about how much weight you lost or talk incessantly about your weight loss, people will get tired of hearing it.  The comments will stop when everyone is more used to seeing you as you are now. Hang in there!!

Laura

Girl, I agree with the others..not sure they are true friends at all.. I think when you're in your late 30's and early 40's, we dont tolerate the BS as much. You ever seen an old crabby woman, they dont stand for anything. I think most people would consider themselves LUCKY to have 1 real friend.. lots of people are just people you know for the moment. I think when I was in my 20's like you and like my younger sister, what people say and think of you is heavily weighted. We have all been there.

I believe you are a fabulous friend and sister. I know it might hurt your heart but dropping people who dont support you will only help you in the long run. Take stock in all your great acheivements. I always have written them down and posted them by my bed to remind myself what I have accomplished. Be your biggest cheerleader!! I can mail you  my Pom Poms.. if necessary.

I am a little rough and too much tough love kind of girl. To me, honesty and loyalty is everything. Once you break my trust, of man, its impossible to get back on my good side. I recently turned 40 and tend to keep co workers, friends, and even some family at a distance. Self preservation.

I think this a huge turning point in your life. Will you let them (including your sis) bring you down?

Good luck dealing with the green eyed monster...

Michelle

Michelle...you are so right, and the sooner we learn how to do the things you said, the better off we will be.  I will be 57 and sure wish I learned these principles years ago.  That old lady you referred to is crabby for good reason.

  I once read a little book called Balcony People and Poison People.  It talked about the two types of people we have in our life.  Those who stand in the balcony of our life and cheer us on and those whoonly  drag us down and poison our life.  The book was about learning to recognize the difference and having the courage to drop the poison people no matter who they were.    You are right about the ONE true friend.  I would rather have one true friend than a handful of friends that I can't ever know which way they will go depending on how the wind blows.

 Thanks for the advice. This was all 1-2 years ago when all the friend issues went down. I'm only stayed friends with one of three cause she came to me an she told me she was jealous an we worked it out. An as for my Sister I think it's just the sister rivalry thing an will be over soon. I hope.

Huggggggggssss!
Ages and stages!!! People change, and no doubt you have too, in more ways than one. I too have left a  friend behind, it was an unhealthy relationship, but some times you are too close to it to see. I didnt realize how defensensive I had become (and low self esteem), but as I shed the weight I also began to lower my defenses as well and my self esteem flourished! Some times when we rediscover ourselves, it dawns on us how much living we had stopped participating in , the scales have fallen off from my eyes.

When people show you who they are, believe them! You can only control and be accountable for your own actions, not anyone elses. Look forward and move on.
Prek3
    

Sound like a bunch of HATERS to me. The only thing that matters is that you are happy with your personal appearance.

I've had the same problem (sort of). I'm pre-plastics/not sure if I can have them due to insurance issus still but I've lost about 255 lbs and a lifetime of friends!  I even get comments from my mom saying I need to wear more baggy clothes and not tight ones. I get SO many compliments when I wear fitting clothes but hey.  I've also had "friends" that are and always have been think tell me in a fit of anger, " who are you to talk you bought and paid for your body, without that you'd still be hideous".  

I know where you're coming from! Hang in there - the real friends will come around and apologize/ never have an issue to begin with.

Your WL stats are amazing.  Congratulations.  You are inspiring.