????

.?????

Well,

Your wife might be conservative.. Like a woman who would never initiate cause in her mind she's acting like a *****

What gets her in the mood? Honestly, there is nothing like a great smelling and well groomed man.

Does she have other things on her mind? Like bills, illness,etc

Counseling? Have to told her that you would just die if she initiated?

Go on vacation together? Sometimes, changing the environment might help. '

Buy a sex toy? some new lube? Massage oil. I think massage before intimacy is a great way to ge things going.

My DH and I always do "date night".. dinner and movie..

If I wanted to get your wife in the mood, I would do the following:
Make sure the house was cleaned, all the house chores done, cook her dinner or gotout to dinner, buy lingerie something you would like to see her in, buy flowers, write a romantic letter, go see a movie/musical/concert.. something you guys can talk about that doesnt include work etc, I would make sure she was sexually satisfied first from here on out as well. 

I believe eventhough you guys may not be on the same page sexually, she has to accomodate you in some way. Maybe not 2-3 times a day but at least 1-2 xs a week.. 

Michelle  

First, she needs to go get a complete physical.  If she is about the same age as you are, then she should be way more interested.  I would make sure that everything is ok physically then turn to the emotional factors.  The romantic evening would be a great try.  Since this has been an ongoing issue with the two of you, you may not be able to fix it quickly.  I guess you need to find out what is holding her back, see if those problems can reasonably be addressed, then decide if you can go on with the status quo if you can't get her to compromise.  Good Luck!

 I'm so sorry to read this.  No kicking involved.  We all k ow how much better we feel about ourselves when the weight comes off and I understand d being even more interested in intimacy.

I'm wondering how she feels about herself.  Thiis could be more about her self esteem than how she feels about you.

 You don't need a kick, you need a hug. >

I wish I had brilliant advice for you.  These situations are so difficult and so tricky.  It isnt a huge comfort and it certainly is not a solution, but you arent alone in having this kind of problem.  Many of us have similar issues - sometimes I think folks can work them out, sometimes it comes down to two very different levels of sex drive that there doesn't seem to be a remedy for.

I think the other ladies provided some pretty good tips. Counseling, therapy, a complete physical all seem like good methods of evaluating the situation if you can get your wife to agree.  It is possible that this could be all about a physical problem or a brain chemistry issue and it might be addressed.

You sound like a really nice husband. Make sure you realize that her lack of interest probably isnt a reflection on you or your good husband worthiness or even your super sexiness.  Your wife's lack of interest in sex most likely is just about her.

Was that proper English? Hope you get my meaning and keep your chin up!

You might wanna post this on my other favorite forum here, the sex before and after weight loss forum.  here is the link:

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/sex_before_and_after_wls/

Maybe she feels like you left her behind?  I agree she should have a complete physical and go from there.  Hope the advice helps.

 The question is - do you love her?  If you think about living without her, how does that feel?

If it feels bad - and you think you'd be devastated....then you need to work this out.  If you think you'd be relieved...well....

The truth is - often men want sex much more than woman.  Call it biology, hormones, stress, overwork, self-esteem issues, upbringing etc. etc.  But it just happens.  And we aren't always in synch regardless.  My husband always jokes that he and I are on different cycles...the times in our life when I'm the one bugging - he's not "into it", and then he gets interested and I don't anymore...usually because of job stress and other issues...

Reality?  You don't always need your wife to satisfy your physical needs.  I've heard some friends buy these for their significant others to "stand in" for those nights when he wants and she doesn't...

http://www.fleshlight.com/


You do probably need to get some counselling to deal with this.  And beware that pushing her might just do more harm than good.  I hope you can work things out!

I want to thank everyone for your thoughts. No really, thank you. We are communicating these issues very well tonight. As the saying goe's, "it's a vicious cycle".When I don't get the response I think is coming ithe results are hurt, confusion, resentment which is normally manifested as anger. In her mind she doesn't want to advance things when there is hostility and I wouldn't be agitated if ...... Hopefully we can let are guards down and meet each others needs. Counseling would probably be beneficial. Please post any other thoughts or experience's. Thanks everyone for your gracious heart felt thoughts and concerns. Love you guy's.

Happy to hear you guys are communicating again.. cause God knows despite our wonderful talents as women, we surely dont have ESP..

Good luck!!

I believe this is some of the best advice I've ever read online! Love it!! If you are not already a psychologist, you should become one...