Three month post-op visit: lessons learned, regrets, & prices (Long post)

Bubs--my long lost friend!! How have you been??

My friend and I always laugh at how absurd the as seen on tv commercials are. Everything is so exaggerated. They are advertising an egg cooker and they show this exasperated woman in a hen house picking feathers out of her hair as she trips over hay bales on her way into her tiny kitchen to, GASP, horror of horrors, try futilely to hard boil an egg! Cut to her using Egg Buddy--her hair is perfectly coiffed, her kitchen is huge, she is smiling ear to ear, and she has a perfectly hard boiled egg. Too funny.

I just came up with a SNL skit yesterday. I said I was going to write it down because it was cracking me and my friend up now I can't remember it. I swear I'm gonna become a comedy writer. Instead of trying to steal my material we should join forces and use our humor for good and not evil.

Yes, my brilliant dog is a bit of hog. It will be the death of her. The old girl is having some bladder issues in her old age too. Poor thing. Poor furniture. We keep her in a diaper a lot and have lots of waterproof pads around. She also suffers from pancreatitis and that often makes her puke if she eats even a little human food. No, haven't taught her to go outside to puke. Actually, (loading the gun again for you) she always comes to me and pukes on my foot when she is sick. I think she is trying to tell me she needs out and I never get the message until the warm wetness penetrates my sock.

My pup walking job is on hold for a minute. Doc said if the seromas didn't ease up he didn't want me walking, especially not getting pulled. Well, you are right about those huskies getting me ready for the Iditarod and a trip to see Palin. Just the puppy lab jerks the hell out of me. I'm on medical leave of absence. At least the neighbors can have their pool cover back since I won't need rain protection for my melon for a while!

You are still creepy internet guy, but we will break records with the amount of coincidences we share. My doc said 1-2 of the 50mg Trazadone. I took 1-1/2 the other night and I think I was asleep before I got to the bed. Crazy stuff. I seem to remember some post where you asked if we had Trader Joe's here. I know you know we do CIG (creepy internet guy). You can probably give me directions from the whole foods to TJ's!! LOL! Oh, had the best ever hot kettle coooked caramel popcorn yesterday. So freakin' good I'm craving it in my sleep! Cold shoebox, eh? I can't sleep when I'm cold. I have the world's hottest electric blanket. I'm sure the electromagnetic emissions are probably cooking my ovaries. I don't need them so I say cook away! Maybe I should get an Egg Buddy to help the process along! 

Minus the giant check, you've got a lotto hitting deal! Good to know I'm not disposable like a freshly scooped poop. I'd miss the harassment, torment, and merciless rants about my giant head too.

So funny about leopard print thong. We used to have roommates and of course I'd often come to do laundry and have to shift their clothes out of the dryer. Well, I find this pair of leopard print thongs. I thought my friend was a frisky little thing, but I didn't see her as a leopard print thong kind of girl. Well, she wasn't. They were her boyfriend's!! I about peed I laughed so hard picturing him rocking that banana hammock. If you knew him and his stoic outer shell, you'd know just how damn hilarious it was. I was better after the brain bleach.

I'm back off to the surgeon tomorrow--maybe Tuesday--to have my seromas redrained. He may try to reinsert drains. I don't think they are as full as they were, but still not healed. Have you seen those Allstate Mayhem guy commercials--very funny.

Talk to me about where your head is with how you see yourself mentally regarding your size now since surgery. My husband is having a hard time understanding that I still see myself heavy. I think he feels bad for me that I'm not enjoying me as much as he is enjoying me. I still have a roll, albeit smaller, but still a roll, when I sit down. I even had my daughter take a picture of me sitting so I could see if it looked as big as it felt. Hubby says I'm perfect and hot and the prettiest girl in the room wherever we go, but I still don't see it. I guess I should just be happy he feels that way, but I want to feel that way too. I think still having physical discomfort doesn't help either. I have this weird sensation when I bend forward--it is like someone has wrapped a wire aroundmy hips and is pulling it backward. Super tight and weird. Do they talk about the body dysmorphia in your support group? I may really need to find a support group to go to. If not for my body issues, then one to help kick my new caramel corn addiction...

Have a good week Bubs!! Don't be a stranger!

Not really lost, just haven't been found yet. Badumbdumberbumbest!

They always show the finished product in someone's beuatiful kitchen, I don't know anybody with a kitchen like that or even someone who lives in zipcode like that other than my buddy Warren. I miss Billy Maze though, the loudest zioce on tv.

Good comedic talent is lacking nowadays, I would love to be on that show 30 rock with Tina Fay. Would love to squeeze me some Liz Lemon (that's her name on the show) If we were to join forces as the Dynamic Duo I would be Fatman and you could be Girl Blunder. Trick would be finding a mask big enough for for head and a suit to show off the awesome abs my surgeon gave me.

Poor baby sorry to hear that, I know my little girl will get old one day she is 10 1/2 now so I try to think about it too much. Officially I didn't train my dogs to really do anything, I have just been real lucky with them for most part when they start to heave if I open door in time they just run outside and do it so I'm lucky there. Maybe your dog thinks it is the parent and you are the baby and is just regurgitating to it's young to feed you. HEHE! 

Me and my sister went to Nebraska Humane Society  this weekend they had holiday open house to raise funds so we went and bought treats and some decorations for their tree blah blah. Spent about 50 bucks total and had some pics taken with the dogs, maybe I'll post it on here for people to laugh at. We found guy who does stencils of portraits and he seemed really good, so we may have one done of the dogs and have it framed. I'm going to have to borrow your head here for a minute cuz ours was really inflated from this weekend, we had 3 people say my little corgi mix was the cutest dog they had ever seen before. Five people stopped to take pictures of her and we counted (yes counted) 21 people had to stop and ask what kind of dog she was. She was the bell of the ball and came home with a distended belly full of treats to say the least. I think we need to start entering here in photo contests or something she is so damn cute in person it's like she's a little rock star or something and I'm in her ontourage. My poor sheperd can't get no love poor little guy.

Doctor said no walking huh, too bad he didn't say no talking either. Hope those damn seromas clear up for you, like you don't have enough problems some days. Maybe you have one in your head, he can aspirate that as well but he may need to use a bigger needle with a fuel pump siphon and 55 gallon barrel. 

Two trazadone woo hoo sounds good to me I only need 1 though, you need 1 for your body and 1 for your head probably. Last week was the best I have slept in years during the work week, I love this stuff and I think it may be giving me a boost too in the mental health area to. Electric blankets are yesterdays news honey you need a heated mattres pad much better. Don't worry about me taking your caramel popcorn not a big fan of it myself, I'll stick to the cheesy weezy.

Don't worry your not disposable to anyone, especially when company's are putting bids in with you to be your hat maker. I heard the last deal was a 10 year 2 million dollar contract.

They cancelled my order for the thong saying something about a leopard shortage due to someone ordered a leopard print hat here in the US and it would be on back order for a few months go figure.

HIHO HIHO It's off to get aspirated we go! Couldn't resist, I know your doing this on porpoise just to get the title back for biggest drainer. I haven't seen latest ones I don't think will have to look for them.

You want me to talk about my head? Wow I got no chance in this fight I'll just throw in my towel right now before you knock my a$$ out. Number one sounds like your husband is a smart guy, but he really cares for you the way you are and wants you to be happy. (Wow me giving realtionship advice, next thing you know I'll be giving Richard Simmons fitness tips) I still feel a little strange not fat like, not chubby like, just funny like something is missing. I don't feel horrible about myself but I don't feel great either just better and right now I'll take it. I really think being where we have been and to come this far and be a more normal size can take a long time to adjust. Look at the world around you, everyday you will see, feel, smell, think, touch, hear, something that will give you a reason to think about your former self in some way, good bad sad glad consciencely or unconsciencely. This will affect your emotions and how you think/react the rest of your life. It is only human nature to want back what we deprived ourselves of for being big all those years. Don't know if either of us will ever get to a place in our minds/heart where we are truly comfortable with ourselves. If I hire a personal trainer and get in the gym next couple years and get 20-30 grand to finish remodeling. I'll bet I could get 80 some percent of the way there. But that is alot of Gabloons sister, I will have to learn to appreciate what I have in the mean time. We have talked about body dysmorphia a few times in our group. Maybe your hospital has a support group groupon groupie where you had your bariatric surgery might be worth checking out. I challenge your caramel corn to my cheese corn, first one to **** a popcorn ball wins.

Don't worry i won't be a stranger, just strange!

Bubbzz

 Hahahahaha. You are too funny! 

I will sign up as a member of the COMPLAINERS club. Where's my membership card? I want mine to say "no belly button no money no holding back"

Both surgeons that operated on me are Board Certified and they were referred through my Bariatrics office. I think that is why I got by cheaper the first time round, It's just hard for me to hate someone as I try to look for the good in people. I'm trying to be patient and give it time and a few more months the swelling should go down more and I quit looking in the mirror so much as it just drove me crazy. I think if the stitches were symmetrical and I felt like I had a defined waistline I would feel better about all of this.

She told me they did as much as they could for me with what I had done. I really don't think I had high expectations going in and I could care less about scars. Just don't like being lopsided like I'm still some sort of circus attraction like when I was a 1/4 ton of fun.

I just needed to rant a little to feel like I could put this behind me and move forward. I will get more surgery in future but i will be more prepared next time. I guess I should have spent more than 3 weeks with the boy scouts I would have been better prepared.

Thanks

Bubbs

 I think that it's good for people to share experiences like yours because sometimes we assume that the problem is with us, because we're not assertive enough, or maybe we weren't clear enough with the PS, or maybe we haven't waited long enough for things to "settle out". People are intimidated by white coats. I have the same problem as you. I get myself worked into a rage about things I know need to be fixed, make lists, do my research, but then as soon as I'm face to face with my PS I'm like a balloon that's been deflated and there's a lot of stuttering and awkward silences and I walk out feeling like an ant. 

Plastic surgery is a business, and they're in it for profit. If they readily acknowledged every single thing they could have done better, they'd be obligated to fix it for free or at a steep discount, and that would seriously eat away at their bottom line. And they have huge egos. I mean, these are people who get paid a lot of money to make people look beautiful. That's a lot of power. They don't like to admit that they make mistakes. My sister works with plastic surgeons and she said the majority of them have God complexes. They think they're all-powerful and can't go wrong. 

We really have to support each other and take steps to be more proactive about our care, both pre-op and post-op. I wish I had been more assertive with my PS in my aftercare, maybe then they would have caught my bleeding earlier and I wouldn't be staring at a $4,000 hospital bill. I know that for me, writing lists of my concerns (detailed lists) has been somewhat helpful, because then I don't get nervous and forget everything. But being assertive with those lists is still a challenge. 

Reading about other peoples' struggles with their surgeons tells me that this is not just my problem, it's not just me. It's a greater issue and it's real. We need to really step up and advocate for ourselves. 

I'm kind of the same way with the lists and doing research, but I think I have gotten a little worse after what has happened. Borderline OCD maybe but I have to learn to deal with it. I really like Bariatric surgeons where I had my WLS done. They are down to earth and can joke around with them and everyone in the office. I PS I had a consult with was really cool but I skipped him because he had least amount of experience, but might holler at him when I go for round 2 someday.

That's what I can't understand with these places, it's got to be 80-90 self pay you would THINK they would be a little more careful or understanding whatever. My GP even said the 2 that worked on me have great reps in town, but even he said the incision placement does look slightly flawed.

This board has been great for me and others, it helps to vent & whine to people who understand what your going through and they don't judge you. My week in the hospital was $25,000 and I didn't even get no surgery out of that round. Fortunately I only had to pay $1,500 of it glad I have good medical, not counting being self pay for WLS & Plastics.

I'm a little more determine next time to know what I want ahead of time, and to do my research way in advance with multiple consults.

Bubba