Asking what KIND of Surgery...

So I was chatting with my half sister, she lives in TX.. I told her to pray for me as I am having surgery next week... So then she says what kind.. I said, it is out-patient, and I will be home the same night. She said WHAT kind.. I said I didn't say what kind.. I simply asked for your prayers...

 

So our seemingly pleasant conversation went from cool to crazy in 0.3 seconds.. She said Why did you tell me you were having surgery if you werent going to tell me what kind.. I said because I would like your prayers... She said.. what am I supposed to pray for if I don't know what kind.. She said she guessed it was my upbringing, and she didn't know why I brought it up if I wasn't going to tell her what KIND of surgery..

 

HOW BONKERS is this... Do you reveal EXACTLY what surgery your having? Why can you not just ask for prayers and keep it moving. For the life of me, I have never asked anybody what TYPE of surgery  they plan to have.. I just pray and ask if they need anything.

 

BTW- my half sister and I are not close. We didn't grow up in the same household.. and she is not really that nice to me. I have been trying to work on that by calling her up and just chatting.. She is still angry that our Daddy left their family for my mom.. So bridging the gap has been hard.. But still I try.. she is married to a millionare so she SHOULD be over the fact that she grew up in the ghetto...

I think when you trigger the conversation about anything you open yourself up to possible questions, this one in particular is understandable and being that this is a family member I can positivly understand her concern. My sister and i do not have a great relationshop but I know that deep inside we care about each other and if I were to have major surgery without informing her of the details would just continue our already stressed relationship. I think if your thoughs are to brigde the gap between the 2 of you this would be a good start. Why not be open. What do you have to lose?

Good Luck. I'm 4 days out and having a fantastic recovery.

That's unfortunate. I mean, you can generally expect most people to ask what kind of surgery you're having, if they find out you're having surgery. But if you don't want to say, she should respect that. If you don't have a good relationship, she felt like you were insulting her by not wanting to say what kind of surgery you were having. It's kind of like being in middle school. Someone says "I have a secret" and you say "what is it?" and they won't tell you. So you feel offended that they don't trust you with that information. So I can kind of see why she got mad. HOWEVER, that does not excuse her from being so rude, and she should certainly respect your desire for privacy, especially since you're not close.

When people ask me about what kind of surgery I'm recovering from, I simply say "corrective surgery" and smile. 90% of the time they sense that the subject is closed and don't ask for more information. If they do ask for more, I'll kind of give half-truths if I feel like it. Sometimes I'll just say "Oh just a routine procedure." Most people will get the hint if you continue to be vague. Or I'll say "I had a surgery to correct an abdominal wall deformity." (Which technically is true!!). You don't want to get cornered into spinning some huge lie. So don't give too many details. But if you have some canned responses prepared, it makes it less stressful.

As with my RNY, I told everybody everything.
I am an open book and don't like to lie.

I also find it keeps the gossip at bay.

Besides, my results were more than obvious. No sense in trying to hide it.

Someone at my workplace very clearly had breast implants.
Everyone can tell by looking.
But she did not tell anyone why she was going out on sick leave.

It is more than obvious, and she is the target of some very unkind water cooler talk.

Not what I wanted for myself.

But when it comes to asking others...no, I never pry. People share what they want.
But there are pluses and minuses to everything.

Sorry, girly. I probably would have said "female issues" and left it at that (vague and somewhat true). I hope she settles down. I'll be praying for you!! 

Laura

Thanks for the feedback... All I want and need are prayers...