Feeling like I'm doing a little (ok, a lot) self destructive eating--just a phase?

waitinggame
on 11/2/11 10:55 pm - Bowie, MD

So for the past few days I've been in self destruct mode. Not getting in my protein. Not staying on top of my vitamins. Not drinking my water. All hell is breaking loose. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. I've had this habit for a long time now of undermining myself when things are going too well. I am finally at a place where I am remotely happy with my body. Granted, I'm still not feeling 100% (okay, not really even 50%, but I'm trying to be optimistic), but seeing the change in my body has been nothing short of remarkable. So what the hell am I doing? Why this sudden total and utter rejection of all things healthy? Do I want to heal slowly? Do I want to gain weight and undo my plastics? Am I mental? Don't answer that last one. I guess I just need a good, swift kick in my (new and improved) ass. Maybe I'm just tired from feeling like crap for this long and I can't handle staying on top of everything. I am tired physically and emotionally. I see my doc tomorrow about my iron. I'm prayerful she'll have something to offer in the way of help there because most days it is all I can do to drag my butt out of bed, get my girls off to school, and crawl my butt back into bed again.

Any thoughts? I did wake up this morning and force myself to do my daily protein coffee. I'll take down my first of 4 doses of vitamins in a minute. And I guess I'll reluctantly drink my water too.

Calgon, take me away!!!

Thanks for listening...again.

Denise

Check out my blog--menumealplanning.com. Tales of making meal planning managable, family fodder, and everything else under the sun.

RNY 2/3/09, LBL/BL w/Augmentation 9/16/11
Start weight: 335 Current weight: 185 Goal weight: Whatever the hell I can maintain without driving myself insane!

*6.5 lost preop

PBJ
on 11/2/11 11:05 pm

VSG on 06/03/10

Hi Denise,

Don't have any answers but just wanted to send you a hug! When you are not feeling 100 % it is hard to take the best care of yourself. I would talk to your doc tomorrow and maybe that will help. Hang in there and don't be too hard on yourself. Remember today is a new day!!

Patty

My weight loss journey

waitinggame
on 11/3/11 6:09 am - Bowie, MD

Today is a new day--thanks for that reminder. Simple, yet powerful. A new opportunity to make good choices.

Thanks!!

Check out my blog--menumealplanning.com. Tales of making meal planning managable, family fodder, and everything else under the sun.

RNY 2/3/09, LBL/BL w/Augmentation 9/16/11
Start weight: 335 Current weight: 185 Goal weight: Whatever the hell I can maintain without driving myself insane!

*6.5 lost preop

Lee ~
on 11/2/11 11:37 pm - CA

VSG on 02/17/10

ACK! I have to first hand experience to share except that I get the self sabotage routine. I've read so many say that depression can be part of this plastics journey. It's such a long time of not feeling optimal, of dealing with healing and everything that comes along with that. Are you doing things to help yourself feel happier? Seeing friends, getting that mani, going for walks, seeing movies? I think this really points to having a strategy to deal with the long recovery period. You had drains for a long time which really prolonged feeling like a patient.

So you have your list:
Vitamins
Protein
Water
Now just add in a bunch of FUN!

Maybe your iron is low and it's dragging you down? I bet your doctor can help you.

Good job starting with that protein coffee this morning!

I have the MedMinder App on my iphone to remind me every two hours that it's time for either multi, calcium or iron. What a pain in the tush, but we're so worth it. If you think you feel crappy now, don't even consider finding out how you feel without the necessary vitamins and supplements!

Now go take your vits young lady!!

HW: 249 SW: 229 GW: 149 Age: 63 - Body by Sauceda - 12/2011

waitinggame
on 11/3/11 6:13 am - Bowie, MD

Yes ma'am!! I think your point about injecting some joy into my life is very valid. I actually got to go meet one of our own board members today, Cris, who is having her TT on the 15th. Great gal! Had fun having lunch, shoe shopping (got me some sexy boots!) and sipping a coffee while sitting next to the fountain at the mall. Very nice day (thanks Cris!!).

I will tell my husband that it is doctors (okay, Dr. Lee) orders that I get manis and hang out with my friends!!

I do think the iron is definitely playing into it. Crossing my fingers there is hope on the horizon for that.

I need to check out the medminder app. I have a timer on my iphone that repeats, but that sounds better.

Thanks Dr. Lee!!! Off for another dose of vits!!

Check out my blog--menumealplanning.com. Tales of making meal planning managable, family fodder, and everything else under the sun.

RNY 2/3/09, LBL/BL w/Augmentation 9/16/11
Start weight: 335 Current weight: 185 Goal weight: Whatever the hell I can maintain without driving myself insane!

*6.5 lost preop

(deactivated member)
on 11/3/11 1:08 am - TX

RNY on 03/01/11

I get that way and I find its after an especially stressful time, or when I am running on empty - working out five days in a row, stress at work, kids with tons of activities, etc. - when I don't have any down time. Or, when I'm bored.

For me, I have to remove the source of food. I found myself snacking on parmesan pita chips so much that I just don't buy them anymore. Likewise the potato chips and other things that are easy going down that used to find their way into my house. My kids griped at first, but hey - they don't need them either, and they aren't lacking for healthy snacks.

The other thing I do is just STOP and listen to myself and ask myself why I am doing it. Mostly, its just habit. Its a way of dealing with feeling down and a natural reaction that I had for over twenty years for dealing with stress. It makes me feel better, mentally, and it soothes immediately. But it isn't worth the outcome. So I am really trying to disrupt that chain reaction and think through it.

The other rule is I get ONE out. Not three, or three strikes. If I eat a handful of something after work, I put it away, think about it, and I'm done.

waitinggame
on 11/3/11 6:17 am - Bowie, MD

Girl, you're singing my song--parmesan pita chips and hummus. OMG. Evil I say! It really is true that old habits die hard. This is probably one of the most stressful things I've had to deal with in a long time, both physically and mentally, so it is understandable that I might retreat to old, albeit bad, habits.

I think I do need to do a nice purge of the junk. Between halloween candy and those dang pita chips, I'm eating myself into carb comas on a semi-regular basis!

Boredom is definitely a factor too. I've never been in the house this much--ever. Certainly not without kids to keep me busy, but both are in school all day now, which is a blessing and a curse.

I'm going to sit down and figure out a semi-structured schedule for myself of what I'm going to do to keep my body and mind busy.

Thanks for the input. I always appreciate when you guys get me thinking.

Have a good evening!!

Denise

Check out my blog--menumealplanning.com. Tales of making meal planning managable, family fodder, and everything else under the sun.

RNY 2/3/09, LBL/BL w/Augmentation 9/16/11
Start weight: 335 Current weight: 185 Goal weight: Whatever the hell I can maintain without driving myself insane!

*6.5 lost preop

(deactivated member)
on 11/4/11 1:45 am - TX

RNY on 03/01/11

I eat the most when I am at home as well. Its just easy - and FUN!

I never had pita chips until AFTER the surgery, strangely enough. Tried them at a party with hummus and I am a huge fan now. I've tried the sea salt ones, the parmesan, and even the cinnamon sugar ones! They are truly evil. I'm not much of a potato chip fan, but these really get me.

I think its easy to get depressed after a surgery, being immobile, and in the state of mind you get in...seems like it isn't going to end when in reality its a very short period of your life. My very good friend had a lbl, thighs, and breasts done at the same time three years ago after losing 140 lbs, and it was two months of pure hell for her. She had live in help for two weeks (hubby was in Iraq) then daytime help for two weeks, then on her own for a month with me stopping by at night when she needed something. It was really, really bad - but if you ask her now, it was a breeze, lol! And she recommends plastic surgery to everyone. She truly has no recollection of how miserable she was. I think that is a good thing. But, I digress.

Old habits are just hard to break.

Jujuvee
on 11/3/11 7:54 am

Ya know I'm not a therapist.. I just play one online, but I would say that this is not an easy phase to put ourselves through, the emotional rollercoaster is bound to take us all on a ride at some point and for some reason. But I like your idea of putting youself on a schedule and digging yourself out from all the candy and other trigger foods thats hanging around your house IS a great start to getting back to being you!!

Are you back to work yet or still recovering.

oh and about this protein coffee (details)

HW 405- Pre op weight 374- Plastics weight 203 Current weight 194

Circumferential lift/Brachioplasty November 8, 2011
16.3 pounds removed.

Revisions + Thighplasty October 23, 2012

Breast lift- Spring 2013

(deactivated member)
on 11/3/11 9:03 am

VSG on 03/03/09

I've been doing the same thing this week, started withnte Halloween candy which I allowed myself. Then it's been carbapoolooza till today I finally slowed down a bit. I lknow how you feel I'm finally starting to feel good about my self like the turtle who is finally poking his head out of his shell without fear of getting it chopped off.

I think your like me a little, were starting to feel better because of the plastics and lost some weight and we just want to enjoy ourselves a little bit of what life has to offer. The offering is FOOD and lots of it sister. Food is part of life we'll never get away from it that's why I embraced it for so long HAHA. I think it is just a phase we probably all go through, I went through it with my WLS after I lost most of weight and could get out again and I ate too much for while.

Don't worry you'll get it back under control just don't wait till monday like we always seem to do.

Bubba

Feeling like I'm doing a little (ok, a lot) self destructive eating--just a phase?

Our Mission

Follow us

Links

Select Photos

Feeling like I'm doing a little (ok, a lot) self destructive eating--just a phase?