TT update

Hi everyone.

I'm still alive. It's been a very very difficult few days since my TT and subsequent toilet crisis (yes, that's what we're calling it here). It has been a real struggle getting my blood pressure up. They ended up having to take me off ALL pain medication, because every time I took something my BP would drop like a rock. Plain old tylenol wasn't touching the pain so it wasn't even worth it. At first it wasn't so bad and I didn't think it'd be a problem. But the reason it wasn't so bad was because I still had the pain pump in my abdomen. Well, that ran out a day early and ever since it has been a real exercise in tenacity. I have been in a tremendous amount of discomfort. When the nurse and paramedics were giving me CPR and manhandling me they caused a lot more bruising and swelling. Luckily none of my incisions opened up but I feel like I've been beaten with a club. I put out about 250cc's of pure blood in my drain the day afterwards but it has been tapering off dramatically so that's a good sign. Yesterday I was able to start rolling to the bathroom in a computer chair to use the toilet, so that was an improvement. I still can't stand up on my own for any period of time without starting to black out. We have a nurse come once a day for a few hours to change bandages and take vitals etc.

But I *am* getting better, bit by bit. Blood pressure finally hit triple digits today (101/56 woohoo!). My heart rate is averaging about 95 at rest, but doc said that that's normal since my blood pressure is so low, so it has to compensate.

I haven't gotten to look at my abdomen. I don't really want to. I know it is very swollen and probably a whole rainbow of ugly colors. When the nurse changes the bandages I don't look. I'm pretending that part of me doesn't exist right now. I would rather just get through all of this crappiness and be pleasantly surprised by a lovely flat stomach in a few weeks/months.

My saving grace has been a meditation audiobook that I've been listening to on my iPod. It has helped me so much. I bought it off iTunes. It's saving my sanity. I would highly recommend it to everyone here. It's called "Mindfulness Meditation for Pain Relief" by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

I'm pretty depressed. But I'm getting through it. My meditation tape says that you can notice pain and negative emotions and experience them, you don't have to deny them or pretend they're not there. I'm experiencing my pain and sadness. And when I acknowledge it, it helps me feel a little bit more in control. When you can't control any aspect of your physical condition your emotions become amplified.

This is the first time I've had the energy to use the computer since the last time I posted. I will probably be gone again for a few more days. I'll wait until I have something positive to say. I really hate being a debbie-downer. I just wanna go to sleep and wake up a month from now, happy and healed. You guys are all so positive and encouraging, I'm gonna get that attitude back. This will all be a distant memory soon. Thanks for all the healing thoughts.

Girl, you have handled this amazingly. I hope the worst is over, and that you feel better soon.

You will heal in time.. sending healing thoughts your way..  sleep does wonders for the body, mind and spirit.

Michelle

I cannot imagine how difficult this must have been for you Lizzy....just know you have so many prayers and positive thoughts coming your way.....

The sadness is part of the process  I believe.  I've been depressed and crying for 3 days now.  For no good reason; things are going pretty good.

I just keep telling myself it will pass.  Keep your chin up and may each day be better than the last.  Next summer you will be rocking your bathing suit!!!!!

Linda

Thanks for posting Lizzy..I have been thinking about you and so hoping you were doing better!  each day should get better from this point on.  YOu have been through so much but I know that new bod of yours will be worth it in the end..keep your eye on the prize!
Please do keep us posted...we care

hugs,
Patty

Sorry you've had such a rough go of it these last couple days, but you're here and that's what counts. No pain meds at all your a trooper Liz, that meditation your listening too must be working great. You obviously have a strong mind and a stronger heart to keep going without the drugs.

Hope to hear from you in couple days get some rest,

Bubba

Oh Lizzy, this is just so much more than you signed up for.  You're handling it beautifully.  I hope you continue to post when you're feeling up to it.  Don't worry about the downer part of it because you're not the only one that will/has had a tough time of it.  I think it's just as important for all of us to read your post as well as the everything is coming up roses posts.  I have learned more from the struggles that people have gone through because I think that we all come into this thinking that we will be the perfect patient.  I've read eye opening posts that make me realize that I have to be aware that my outcome may not be the most optimal.  That said, I'm using all of my most positive visual affirmations and thoughts about creating the body that I've always wanted.  I'm so glad you have your meditation to listen to.  I have an old ipod with aboug 100 positive guided meditations.  I'll be sure to make a folder of those for healing.

You're our rock star and will continue to be.  Great visual of your rolling to the potty on your computer chair!

Lizzy,
I hope you feel markedly better soon! I was wondering if you've thought about taking any holistic remedies? I know Arnica, and Staphisagria helped me after my VSG. I healed amazingly fast!
The Arnica will help with pain and bruising and the Staphisagria is supposed to benefit deep surgical wounds. If you continue to have issues, you may want to consider trying these! They can be found at the Vitamin Shoppe.

Blessings and best wishes!
Heidi

Take your time, you've been through heck! Its hard enough after a tummy tuck, but you went for the major bells and whistles for attention afterwards, didn't you?

Day by day.

We've changed the name from Debbie Downer to Denise Downer, because I totally took her title with all my whining!!You haven't even come close to being a downer. I'm glad you have the ipod book. My friend is going through a very rough time right now and I just bought her a meditation CD. She loves it. I'll suggest your book to her. I know from past experience that guided imagery and meditation can be very powerful. I should have been employing it as a method myself to deal with the depression related to the ongoing discomfort/limitation.

Take it easy and know we are all thinking of and praying for your swift return to health!! Can't wait to see your pretty new tummy. I'm sure you are going to look awesome. Hell, you looked awesome before your surgery, so I can't imagine now!!!

Hugs!

Denise (Downer)