Anyone getting jealous/unfriendly comments from "friends"?

So let me get this straight...I lived as a morbidly obese person from the time I was 10 until I was 40. I was subect to physical and emotional abuse from strangers. I lived in a prison of fat and missed a great deal of the living I should have been doing. But now, now that I have sacrificed 23 THOUSAND dollars and subjected myself to immense pain and continuing side effects from surgery to finally rid myself of the remnants of my obesity, NOW I am getting snide comments from "friends". Really? I know the comments that came after my weight loss surgery were irritating. I dealt with them and moved on. But for some reason, I'm having a harder time letting these comments roll off my back. Maybe because I am still hurting so bad. Maybe because I know I could have taken 10 nice cruises with the money I spent or paid for a chunk of college for my kids. Maybe because I'm a ***** Whatever the case, folks are about to get an ear load from me because I'm tired of smiling and acting like it is okay when they say things like, "Well, if I had 23K to spend, I'd look like you too."  Yeah, and if I had a terrible personality and a fat ass to boot, I'd make sucky comments to my "friends". Okay, that wasn't nice, but wah, freakin' wah. And another of my friends has started doing this thing where she has to tell me about every man that has ever given her a second glance whenever I talk to her.  All about how great her cleavage looks in this or that bra and how they guys just can't stop staring. I DON'T CARE! Yay for you that a guy will look at you twice. I'm just rather glad right now not to have my belly on my thighs and my boobs on my belly. I'm tired of the whining and everyone making it about them. This time it is about me and I have a right to enjoy my new body and not make excuses for it because people either can't get their weight to a place where they can pursue plastics or their financial situation prevents it. I keep putting friends in quotes because the comments are coming from people I'd consider my friends. Not just aquaintances--friends, but clearly these statements are making me second guess these relationships.

Are you getting snide comments? Are people acting jealous? I am not a confrontational person by nature, but can very quickly be inspired to get there if backed into a corner. I hate the idea that I have to have a talk with these people, but if I do, what would you say if you were me? Or would you say anything.

Thanks for reading and letting me vent!

Denise

I haven't had plastic surgery (yet) but I've gone from a 22 to a 8/10 and I'm loving every minute of it. Surprisingly, the ugly comments I get ARE from supposed friends. Acquaintances, parents of students in our karate class, people at work - are nice and complimentary and tell me to keep up the good work.

My friends aren't fat. Most of them have never been fat. They may have 20 lbs to lose. But I hear things like, "Well, I would NEVER have the time to exercise like that, its just crazy," or, "I'd NEVER rearrange my intestines just to get skinny." OK. Well, I do and I DID, and I am happy. And if I can exercise 8x a week (M-F with two "two a days") and I have a full time job, and a house and 3 kids with extracurricular activities....so can you. You just don't want to. But I'm not faulting you for that, because I still like you the way you are. And don't feel the need to make derogatory comments!

Enjoy your body and the results and forget about anyone who doesn't like it!!!

First off, major props for your exercise routine. I'd like to see them get the results you have gotten by JUST getting their guts rearranged. It is hard work to lose and maintain, regardless of surgery. Secondly, how the hell do you do it all? I can hardly do it and I don't work and only have 2 kids. I really want to pick the brains of people who "do it all". Like, what is for dinner and who the heck cooks it?? I digress.

I know they say we hurt the ones we love and probably a function of their getting bold is that they know we love them unconditionally, but I am going to be making a condition that if you hurt my feelings to make yourself feel better, you just may want to put on your big girl panties, cause it's a comin'! :)

Keep up your awesome work!

I go to the gym every morning at 5 a.m.; and I am home by 6:15 to take my son to band practice and wake up my girls for school. Then I shower while they are getting ready - one catches the bus, one I drop on my way to work. I have to be at work at 7:30 and I leave around 4:00 pm. I use my lunch hour to run errands if I have to and eat at my desk. Three days a week I do karate classes and my kids go with me, and my husband is the instructor at one of the classes. They consist of an hour with the kids instructing, then an hour of intense adult classes. My reward; if I get through the week, is I don't have to work out on Saturday and Sunday!

I have learn to let some things go. I don't volunteer for anything, anymore - and made myself that promise that until I was happy with my weight and physical condition I wouldn't. My house isn't nearly as clean as it should be. But I have a cleaning lady once a month for a whole day; and my mom comes one day a week and catches up a few loads of laundry and cooks a meal for us, sometimes two - and I pay her for that. I try to relax on the weekends but the kids generally have activities so we have to do that and grocery shopping and catch up for the school week.

I am training to get my black belt in March, and I've been working towards that for four years. (That is what pushed me to finally get the surgery.) If I make it, I will let up on the 3x a week classes and only go to my husbands class, and spend more time home in the evenings. That is also when I'll decide about the plastic surgery.

Denise,

I haven't even started my plastics yet and am starting to get the comments.  Regareding he weight loss, "You aren't going to lose anymore weight are you?", and I am about the same place as you weight wise. Regarding plastics, "I hope you don't get boobs that are too big", "I hope you don't turn into one of those 'barbies' who is never satisfied with how you look", "Are you really going to do this?".  This decision is mine, my hudbands, and my doctors. No one else gets any say.  A "real" friend gave me a good response,  "Why would you say something like that?" and then just wait for them to really answer. 

Why isn't it that no one was concerned enough to say anything to me when I was at my heaviest?

I really like the idea of saying "Why would you say something like that?" or "Why do you think that is okay to say?" Really make them think and put them on the spot. Should be fun to hear the answers!!

Thanks!

Found the perfect saying for this very issue!!! Amen!!

One of my friends has a saying, "If you forgive me for not answering your ridiculous question, I'll forgive you for asking it."

That is freakin' GENIUS. I am sooo using that line!!

Thanks!

Oh, and curious - how is your best friend doing since her surgery? I saw your picture where she'd lost 40 lbs the first two months.