XP: How To Tell My Mom I'm Having Another Surgery?

As some of you know, when I chose to have weight loss surgery, I wanted to hide it from my mother.  She ended up finding out about my surgery after the fact, and was really upset and hurt by it, and by the fact that I chose to hide it from her.  We have only just begun to mend our relationship, and now I have to tell her that I am again going under the knife!

I began looking into plastics, and it went so quickly that I'm now having surgery June second of this year!  I have to tell my mom, and I have to hurry up, because I'm about to graduate and want my mom to have time to get used to the idea before I graduate May 21 (because we'll have to be around one another!).  Because I had to leave my job this final semester of school, I'm living rent-free in a home owned by my mother until I start working in August.  I don't want her to feel as if I am taking advantage.

Even with that free place to stay, it's a major financial hardship (a.k.a I've been living on ramen, beans, rice and frozen chicken for months now), but this is the right time for plastics because I will never be able to take so much time off of my physically-demanding job again as I need to recover.  It's really the perfect window, and a breast-lift is something that I have always wanted ever since I reached puberty and got huge, saggy breasts!  I feel like I deserve to feel good and be happy, and I want her to support me.  Does anyone have suggestions about how to broach this topic with her?

This will be a conversation that will not be easy.  And the only reason I know this is because I was you six years ago.  I had to tell my family and it was very difficult.  Then I opted for plastic surgery.  Well, needless to say, my dad and my sister thought I had another screw loose.   But when I told them, I had said that I was not asking for their permission only that I loved them enough to let them in on the surgery date.  They were both very supportive after I explained the reasoning behind both of the surgeries (had 2 reconstructive surgeries within weeks of each other).  Believe it or not, work was harder on me than my family and I am a nurse!  Go figure.  However, my family has been supportive ever since because I am healthier and happier.  I am sure that is what your mother wants for you too.  Good luck and you will be in my prayers (both for school and for the surgery!).  Happy Healing!

Karen

Thanks!  I graduate May 21, having surgery June 2, and all of the new grad programs I'm applying for start in August, so it allows me two months to recover before I begin!  It's the right time!  I just don't want to damage that relationship.  She's really my only family.  :(

As long as you have each other you should be well.  Remember to let her know the timing is just perfect all around and that you would not miss work at that point and you will be starting fresh and new.  Prayers to you for this. 

Karen

I too had this same issue.  I finally told my Mom the day before I went in for RNY.  I just told her last week re: having plastic surgery on 5/5.  She gave me quite a fit re: RNY so I was really dreading telling her about plastic surgery.  To my surprise....she took it VERY well & is very excited for me.  Like your Mom tho, she was very hurt that I was reluctant to tell her about my WLS so I feel that she thought she'd better be positive this time.  She was upset when I was weighing going to Mexico for it, that just freaked her out.  When I finally decided on my decision to go to the residency program in Houston, she was very relieved.  Good luck!

Haha, and I am going to Mexico! I don't think she'll mind about that though. It's a great surgeon, safe area, and I'm staying with a friend who lives there and is a nurse collecting huge amounts of karma points by helping me out with this.

 Where in Mexico is everyone going? Seems to be popular...

Well, I don't know where "everyone" is going, but I am going to Mexicali.  I have a friend there, and she's letting me stay with her to save money.  She's such a sweetie to do that for me!

Ok so what doctor is doing your work? Come on now! details! details!

I'm sorry.  I looked at several, including Dr Gaspar, and originally planned to go with Dr. Manjarrez, but eventually choise Dr. Luque instead.