Need some (mental) help

I'm only a month out, but I know I'm going to need some plastics - my skin is already starting to sag.  But I was on the American Society of Bariatric Plastic Surgeons today and the before and after pictures scared the life out of me.  Most of the after pictures looked less than ideal - I mean, I assume the surgeons are posting pictures of "good outcomes", but if that's what I look like after this I will be miserable - the boobs are lopsided and some people look almost deformed, their bodies criss-crossed by huge scars.  I'm not trying to be mean, they definitely look better and healthier than the before photos, but still.  Is that what I did to myself when I let myself get obese?  Even after weight loss, will my body always be ugly?  Will I never be able to wear a bathing suit?  I really don't want to feel so negative, but those pictures and these thoughts have me near tears.  I would appreciate feedback from anybody who had a good outcome after plastic surgery.  Also, any Seattle area plastic surgeon rec's would be welcome.  Sorry for the negativity - this really stressed me out.  BTW I'm 31 years old, highest BMI around 48.

Thanks,
Katie

I had PS and my surgeon did a phenomenal job.  I haven't seen the pics you're talking about but if you find a good surgeon who is familiar with patients who have lost a lot of weight, you will get a good outcome.

Don't worry about plastics at this stage - lose your weight and get to know yourself.  Then you'll know what you want and need.

Thanks for the reply - I know it's early to be worrying, but I'm a planner and I like to do my research.  I guess the thing that scared me from that site was that every surgeon there specializes in plastic surgery on post-bariatric surgery patients.  I know I will never have a perfect body, but I don't want to be ashamed of it forever - 21 years of body shame is enough.  I'm going to go for a walk and get these negative thoughts out of my head!

I struggle with this sometimes.  I had in mind that once I got thin, I've have a body like a bikini model.  I still kinda wish and hope for that, even though I know it's not realistic. 

Look at your thin friends in a bathing suit.  They don't look like bikini models either.  Some have belly skin sag, some have cellulite, some have scars from gall bladders or c-sections or appendix operations.  Some have moles and dimples and weird marks.  Some are thin in clothes but have little rolls in a suit.  That's the way it is. 

I have looked at those after pictures too and thought people still looked overweight, or had a weird shape or had bad scars.  Sometimes I look at myself and see the same thing.  Other people think I'm kinda crazy.

I honestly think all this is a form of body dismorphia.  I've been reading about it a lot lately, and I fit the bill.  I think we all struggle in different areas.  Good that you've identified your "weak" point now and can work on it.

I love my new body, it is beautiful n I m 58 to
I m no afraid or embarrassed to be naked, I used to
be ashamed of my body, but not now , besides anything
Is better then hanging flabby skin, I have no flab on my body

A thought about the scars in the pics you mentioned - I had my first round of reconstruction just about 3 months ago. My surgeons took pretty much the last set of pics about 1 month ago. Yes, my scars were very noticeable. But by summer I'm expecting them to be much reduced. And within a couple years, I'm hearing (from the surgeons and from friends who've had similar surgeries) people will have to look to find them. I know that a couple days I've worn short (well, just above the elbow) sleeves to work in the past week, and my brachio scars go a couple inches past my elbows and NO ONE noticed them, even people who knew about them. I don't think it was my sparkling personality that distracted them, I think they just aren't that noticeable to others.

So my guess would be that you're looking at early pictures, when swelling may be uneven and the scars haven't healed yet. Pictures taken later might show you a body you'd be much happier with.

Hi Luna, I struggled with this issue myself, and it is a tough one. First and foremost, yes, I think we all have to deal with the realization that having been obese, even when we lose weight, our bodies will never be perfect swimsuit model-like. And that is a hard thing to accept, when we've dreamed and fantasized about being thin for so long. Although, we must also realize that the models in magazines are airbrushed to perfection as well, and aren't real people anyway, haha. I was sad about this at first, but lamenting it won't change the facts and undo my past sins. It is what it is, I did what I had to do, and I am so happy being thin, so I'm pretty zen about it.

Next, we have to decide what scars we can live with vs the loose skin. This was especially hard for me because I tend to form keloids/hypertrophic scars - ugly raised scars gone wild. I really thought about it, talked to my surgeon about it, and decided that I would rather have the scars than the loose skin, and rolled the dice and went for it. Do you know how far out those pics are? Because I saw a lot at my surgeon's office that were pretty far out and the scars were barely visible. If I had seen really "scarry" pictures I might not gone for it!

Anyway, I opted for the tummy tuck that did not have the large scar down the middle for that very reason - my waistline might not be as sculpted, but I could wear a two-piece someday, since the scar is below the bikini line. I also opted for the breast lift - most post-BL pics I saw after several months out had very very slight scars, and in many cases they were pretty much invisible.
My arms and thighs are a different story although they could use improvement too. I've heard arms can have a bit more scarring, and I don't think I want those very visible scars. I'm going to just work out and lift weights to improve the appearance and postpone surgery for as long as possible. My surgeon recommended waiting to see how I heal from the places were scars aren't visible.

And who knows, you are young - there are some people who don't need plastic surgery and you may be one of them! I do think exercise and weights can help a lot, and wish I would've been more diligent from the beginning in that regard.

So far, I am really happy with the results even though it hasn't even been 3 weeks! Flat tummy and my breasts no longer look like golf balls in tube socks. They are cute and perky!  I know it's going to be a long road back to normality, but I have no regrets.

 Thank you all for your posts - you have made me feel much better - I think I was just letting the negative thoughts get to me today.  I probably was looking at early pictures, but I just don't understand why they would put such scary images on their websites!  You'd think they'd want to make them look as good as possible for the business :)  I'm going to put it out of my mind.  I have a long time to go still before this is even a consideration.  

Thanks again.

Feel free to look at my before and after PS pics on my profile... I think I got a nice result and Those pics were as of 6 weeks.
Good luck!
Lisa

Katie,

Don't let the pictures go to your head.  But recognize PS is not a cure all and it can damn sure go "south" on you. 

GF is at least three years post plastics and in some places the LBL scar is non existent.  Other parts of it are more obvious.  Same for the "lollipop" scars in the breast area.  Kid her that she kind of looks like the woman in the box the magician cuts in half then can't remember the hocus pocus so they had to break out the needle and thread to put her back together. 

Making headway on getting my first consult.  I have the doctor's business card closer to the phone!