Feeling sad... anyone else experience this??

I had an extended anchor cut tummy tuck and a breast lift last Wednesday. I am happy so far with the results, even though I am super swollen still...

Today has been a rough day for me. I felt pretty good physically all day but the inability to do what I want is really weighing on me. My husband has been so so so good.. doing anything I need him to do without complaining, bringing me food in bed, cleaning up any messes my child makes... even helping me with my JP drains and helping me shower.. HOWEVER... I am the mom... I do a lot around here. Husband, generally speaking, does also, but we're really good at sharing responsibilities...we're a team. He has given me no reason to feel bad about any of this. Supports my decision, says he doesn't mind having to do everything for everyone while I recover, but I just feel awful about it.

Tonight I am crying uncontrollably, with no good reason to be upset..

Just wondering if any of you have experienced this after plastics when your ability to "do your part" so to speak is compromised.

Thanks in advance for your feedback.

Many of us go through this after surgery. Part of it is the affects from anesthesia, some of it from the pain pills, plus this was MAJOR surgery and it does take time for our bodies to get back to normal. I had a couple of those days after each my surgeries too. I just hated feeling helpless and less than my normal self. Just know that this WILL pass and you will be back to your old self in no time. It's okay to ask for help and be grateful that you have a husband that is there for you as you recover. That's what they should do! I'm sure you would do the same for him so don't feel bad for that. He sounds like a great guy so just let him baby you while he's willing!

Hang in there!
Melissa

Hi,

I had a panni done on 7/6. My husband is a disabled vet and he cleaned the whole house the other day, he's got a bad back.  I felt helpless and ended up shutting the door to the back room and staying in there while he did. I really felt bad he had to clean the house.   BUT, it's not like I don't do my household chores.  It's just weird when someone else does it. 

I did and do tell him how much I appreciate his help. 

Take care and happy healing!!

Blessings,

Nina

I am glad you tell your hubby how much you appreciate him and I just wanted  to add, I thank him and appreciate him as being a disabled veteran... we have some much to thank our veterans for. they give so much and some give all...      .God bless and thank you....

I don't know if what I feel is sadness as much as it is frustration.  My DH is retired and I'm the bread winner.  He's use to doing all of the housework and day to day stuff.  I'm use to traveling for work and constantly on the go with business.  Recovery comes, and I can't do anything for myself.

I mean, I'm use to throwing my suitcase in overhead bins, running through airports, putting in 10-12 hour days, etc.  And after the first surgery, I had a hard time picking up the phone in the hospital to order my food.  

In addition to everything else DH did, he was saddled with waiting on me.  I cried quite a bit in frustration of not being able to take care of myself, but DH would tell me that he was okay with doing everything.  So here's how he viewed it - which may help you too:

"The work that goes into a safe, healthy recovery, will pay off when normal life continues and it is even that much better when you're happy with yourself."

You'll get through it.

Yes, everything you are feeling is completely normal.

One day, I even lay on the couch with a picture of my dead mother crying "I need you Mom".

It will pass. Day by day you will feel better and be able to do more physically; that, combined with the release of drug byproducts from your body will improve your mental state.

Be patient and gentle with yourself!

 I am feeling really sad myself today. I keep asking myself why did I do this. I am still in a lot of pain and cannot get up out of a chair by myself. I have several other  issues I want fixed but this LBL may have done me in.  I do not  plan to anymore at least for a long time.
DH has been helping but he is partially  disabled from the military so its really hard on him pulling me up and getting me back in my compression garment after changing the dressing.
 I feel so bad asking for help but I do need it. I hope I feel more optimistic tomorrow.

I'm sorry your feeling this way. This has brought back my own memories of how I felt after my two abdominal c-sections - those feelings of helplessness, weakness, dependent, frustration etc. Clearly this is a common feeling after anything that leaves us temporarily disabled, in pain and dependant on loved ones to do things that we normally do. I know people blame it on general anesthesia, but my c-sections were epidural analgesia which is different and I've felt this way when incapacitated by health issues. It's a horrible way to feel and thank goodness it is temporary.

Hopefully this phase will pass quickly and you'll be back to normal and feeling great about how you look. Also don't feel bad about others helping out - it's a way for them to express their love and appreciation for you and they know that you would do the same thing if the situation is reversed. Take good care of yourself so you heal well.

Yeah, me too. I've definitely been there. These surgeries are hard for our bodies (and our minds) to go through and they do take a bit of a toll. Especially, as women where we are used to being the ones who take care of others. It is extremelly difficult to have others care for us or have to do the things that we would normally take care of. I too have a wonderfully supportive husband as well as  3 really supportive adult sons who were my champions and caregivers through my surgeries. It was difficult to put so much on them all. On those days of sadness and frustration, they would just remind me of all I have done for them over the years and how wonderful it was that they had this opportunity to now repay that. It helped to put it in perspective. This is just a short time in our lives. Just know that  this will pass and in no time you will be enjoying the new body you have and know that it was all worth it! God bless you.