Maybe I don't look as good as I thought...
Hmmmmmm????....
1. It may feel like a loaded situation for your hubby. He is afraid to gush over it for fear you will think he was unhappy before.
2. He's still in "care taker" mode - which is kinda like taking care of an invalid or child - you dont' think sexually you think - it's hard to look at in a sexual frame of mind. Might take a week or two of you being normal again before he starts to feel that way.
For instance - Im 1.5wks out - my husband just had to help me take an enema - Im betting he's not going to be turned on by me for a few days at the least because of his caretaker role. Doesn't mean he doens't love me or ever feel attracted - just takes a few days.
Surgery Weight 317
Lowest Weight 175
Current Weight 195
Surgeon Goal 180
Personal Goal 165
Total lost since surgery 142 pounds!!
I'll just wait it out and see what happens...
He didn't flinch - and no matter how horrified I am he just tries to laugh it off. This isn't to say it didn't ick him out - but he sure wasn't going to let me see that and be humiliated!
Im a blessed woman indeed!
I actually think I might have some Smooth Move around here somewhere - have to look - but the prunes and enema together have started things along so Im hopeful!
Surgery Weight 317
Lowest Weight 175
Current Weight 195
Surgeon Goal 180
Personal Goal 165
Total lost since surgery 142 pounds!!
on 3/26/10 7:57 am - West Central FL☼RIDA , FL
I think maybe he is afraid of hurting you....for some guys after their wife has plastic surgery it takes a while until they thing it's safe and they won't physically hurt you.
Could also be that he is afraid to say too much because he's afraid you will leave him now that you are looking and feeling better....Know what I mean?
As someone else said it could be that he is afraid you will misunderstand a compliment (worried that you will think he didn't find you pretty before).
I've heard about men who can't go near their wife after seeing her give birth and then be stitched up (down there).....maybe he's got a little of that going on.
MEN, complicated beings.
I would pour 2 glasses of wine, some fruit and cheese... and talk with him....You don't want it building up to the point you explode.
Good Luck!!
Enjoy your new body. Dress pretty and feel sexy! Eventually when things can get heated, maybe he'll say something sweet to you.
A wife can always dream... right?
12/09 and 6/11, 9 skin removal procedures with Dr. Sauceda in Monterrey Mexico
Revised to the Sleeve after losing 271 lbs with the LapBand.
It could be that your husband has a problem. My husband went from being super stud to zero because his body was no longer producing testosterone. No testosterone=no desire. Other medical issues and mental issues can cause the same types of problems.
My husband was angry every time I lost weight, because of his own self-esteem problems. Whenever he was angry he would withhold all intimacy.
Abusive people deliberately try to lower other people's self-esteem as part of controlling them. When everybody but one individual thinks you look great, try not to let that one individual's actions or lack therof destroy your self esteem.
My heart goes out to you. I know it is very hurtful. I haven't had plastics. But in 1992 I weighed 389 pounds. I have had 2 weigh loss surgeries and still weigh 230 pounds. When I weighed almost 400 pounds, he was constantly all over me. Now, no kisses, hugs, nothing. For the last 5 years he has lived 250 miles away from me, but he won't divorce me! When we go to church or are around his friends he acts like mister perfect husband. I just have to keep telling myself his problems are not my problems! Look up narssistic personality trait disorder--that's my husband's diagnosis.