advice/whatever needed?
I am not sure how clear I am going to be in this post but hopefully someone will understand this. I am below goal and ready for plastics, until the person I live with starts in on, oh, why do you want this, it's just for vanity, it's extremely dangerous, the risk of infection is high, blah, blah....so this leads me to ask, if someone could answer these "concerns" for me....he loves to leave me confused like this...
You will probably get a lot of interesting responses, because all of us have family and friends who want to share their opinions about what we should be doing to ourselves.
My answer is, in the end you will have to make a decision for your own health and well-being, anyway. And in the end, no one else is responsible for making this decision about your body, except YOU.
Of course, that's if the question is "Should I listen to 'the person I live with' -- or blot out those concerns and listen to my own conscience."
If, in reality, the question is really
1) how dangerous is this; or
2) is reconstructive surgery a character flaw; or
3) am I gonna die from this ....
Then that is a decision for which you should consult a surgeon, or G-d. Of course, many surgeons think they already ARE G-d, so you could save time by just going for a consult, instead.
(kidding!!!)
Have a great evening!!!
My answer is, in the end you will have to make a decision for your own health and well-being, anyway. And in the end, no one else is responsible for making this decision about your body, except YOU.
Of course, that's if the question is "Should I listen to 'the person I live with' -- or blot out those concerns and listen to my own conscience."
If, in reality, the question is really
1) how dangerous is this; or
2) is reconstructive surgery a character flaw; or
3) am I gonna die from this ....
Then that is a decision for which you should consult a surgeon, or G-d. Of course, many surgeons think they already ARE G-d, so you could save time by just going for a consult, instead.
(kidding!!!)
Have a great evening!!!
It's your body. You aren't married to him, so he has no say in the matter. He's probably threatened that the plastics will make you more attractive to other men. It probably will - that wouldn't be a bad thing. LOL
Go for it if that's what you want to do.
Wanda
Go for it if that's what you want to do.
Wanda
Wanda
Some people might not support my WLS decision.
Those people remind me of slinkys. Not good for much but it would would bring a smile to my face if someone pushed them down the stairs.
Ticker includes Pre-op weight loss 24 lb.
Some people might not support my WLS decision.
Those people remind me of slinkys. Not good for much but it would would bring a smile to my face if someone pushed them down the stairs.
Ticker includes Pre-op weight loss 24 lb.
Char -
IMO - He is trying to confuse you, I think he is worried that you are getting so much self-confidence back that you are going to leave him in the dust. I don't think some of the work we need is vanity as much as it is to get rid of the excess skin which causes it's own sets of problems. The more self-esteem you regain, the less his opinion should matter to you.
Do you get rashes around your excess skin? Is it uncomfortable? Will you feel better if some part of you has less skin? If you answer yes to any of these questions - than It is not about vanity, but about your comfort.
Any surgery has a risk too it, do your research and have confidence in your surgeon. Any surgery has a risk of infection, a risk of complications, heck you have a risk of dying when you ride the metro or fly a plane or ride in a car. To avoid risk - you need to stay in your house and avoid people. Do you think that is a way to live, I don't believe so!
Hope this make sense.
Di.
IMO - He is trying to confuse you, I think he is worried that you are getting so much self-confidence back that you are going to leave him in the dust. I don't think some of the work we need is vanity as much as it is to get rid of the excess skin which causes it's own sets of problems. The more self-esteem you regain, the less his opinion should matter to you.
Do you get rashes around your excess skin? Is it uncomfortable? Will you feel better if some part of you has less skin? If you answer yes to any of these questions - than It is not about vanity, but about your comfort.
Any surgery has a risk too it, do your research and have confidence in your surgeon. Any surgery has a risk of infection, a risk of complications, heck you have a risk of dying when you ride the metro or fly a plane or ride in a car. To avoid risk - you need to stay in your house and avoid people. Do you think that is a way to live, I don't believe so!
Hope this make sense.
Di.
(deactivated member)
on 2/20/10 12:28 am - West Central FL☼RIDA , FL
on 2/20/10 12:28 am - West Central FL☼RIDA , FL
Hi Char,
First I noticed you said you are "below goal"......is your roomie concerned that you have lost too much weight and may not be in the best health for surgery? Of course, if you are under weight your surgeon will probably ask to gain a few pounds and stabilize before doing surgery anyway.
BUT, if you are stable (not losing for at least 3-6 months) then the surgeon will be ok with operating.
Bottom line with all of this is it is your body and your health and only you can and should make the decision that is best for you. YOU have to be comfortable with your decision before anyone else can be. If you express any doubts or hesitation the roomie might be picking up on that.
The other side of the coin....
The roomie could worried that once all the saggy skin is gone and you get another self-confidence boost you might change and he might lose you. Has he ever expressed this fear (It's pretty common), even if he said it as a joke that means it's on his mind.
If he is just a control freak then you decide if you are going to let him control this or if you are going to do what you want to make you happy.
So far as it just being "vanity".......I'd say..... So what is wrong with wanting to look as good as I feel...If we like the way we look we are happier people....if we are happier people the people around us are happier too.
Feel free to PM me if you want to chat about more...
Best wishes on making this decision.
Ruth
First I noticed you said you are "below goal"......is your roomie concerned that you have lost too much weight and may not be in the best health for surgery? Of course, if you are under weight your surgeon will probably ask to gain a few pounds and stabilize before doing surgery anyway.
BUT, if you are stable (not losing for at least 3-6 months) then the surgeon will be ok with operating.
Bottom line with all of this is it is your body and your health and only you can and should make the decision that is best for you. YOU have to be comfortable with your decision before anyone else can be. If you express any doubts or hesitation the roomie might be picking up on that.
The other side of the coin....
The roomie could worried that once all the saggy skin is gone and you get another self-confidence boost you might change and he might lose you. Has he ever expressed this fear (It's pretty common), even if he said it as a joke that means it's on his mind.
If he is just a control freak then you decide if you are going to let him control this or if you are going to do what you want to make you happy.
So far as it just being "vanity".......I'd say..... So what is wrong with wanting to look as good as I feel...If we like the way we look we are happier people....if we are happier people the people around us are happier too.
Feel free to PM me if you want to chat about more...
Best wishes on making this decision.
Ruth
(deactivated member)
on 2/20/10 12:40 am - West Central FL☼RIDA , FL
on 2/20/10 12:40 am - West Central FL☼RIDA , FL
PS-
I just saw your other posting about the Surgeon in Mexico.
Is you roomie mainly concerned about you going out of the country for surgery? That is a real concern for many HOWEVER this is a bunch of people here who have done it and are happy so maybe you can ask them how they were able to calm the nerves of their loved ones.
Best wishes...
I just saw your other posting about the Surgeon in Mexico.
Is you roomie mainly concerned about you going out of the country for surgery? That is a real concern for many HOWEVER this is a bunch of people here who have done it and are happy so maybe you can ask them how they were able to calm the nerves of their loved ones.
Best wishes...
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