I'm sick of whiners

I was around a group of people the other day and there was this lady who has WLS about the same time I did. She had her surgery done locally because medicaid paid for it 100%. She has medicaid because she is bipolar and cannot hold a job. She was complaining that medicaid was giving her a hard time about her request for ps and how "lucky" I was to be able to schedule my surgery. Well, two years before I had WLS, I took a second job four nights per week and an extra summer job. I cut back on so many things to be able to afford WLS. I have done the same thing since then to save up for PS. Every day when I am at work, I absolutely dread having to do this second job, but I perservere. I have been doing this for years... and I am so "lucky? You know, I figured out one time that if I quit my job, becuase I have several children, I would actually be making more money -- that is, if you include AFDC, Food Stamps, Free school Lunches, Medicaid, etc.. Plus, I would have had my WLS free and would have my PS free. Plus, my kids would qualify or tuition grants when the time comes.... Can somebody please tell me what the heck I am working for?
  

Because you can, because you know it's the right thing to do, because you can go to sleep at night knowing you are a good mother, providing for your children, not taking a hand-out if you don't truly need it.

Terri

Not necessarily this person obviously but some people are on medicaid and are disabled and some actually work. I don't understand how it all works. I had insurance when I was pregnant with triplets and someone suggested I get on secondary medicaid. I was approved and I was working and had insurance. I had so many complications and ended up with one surviving triplet and thankfully having medicaid paid the $100K in medical bills I would have been responsible for after what my insurance paid. I've worked since I was 15.

I know a majority of those on medicaid take advantage of the system. My husband and I work hard and we paid for WLS and PS out of pocket. But I just wanted to share this because some people have reasonable reasons to be on medicaid.

I am sorry it's been so hard for you and in this situation I would BEYOND annoyed. GRRRRRR. Someone once told me it's lucky we have thousands of dollars lying around to do WLS. Uh really? Lying around? You're nuts. We've not put money in retirement in two years.

Me too, Leah.  I wonder why it is that some people assume you're loaded just because you paid for your surgeries.  It's really no different than scraping and saving for a house downpayment, paying off a car.  You eat in more often, take coffee in a cup from home, limit going to the movies, etc. There are lots of ways to sacrifice for it.  We've forgone decent-sized retirement deposits for two years as well, and we haven't had a "real" vacation since 2001!  Between my WLS and PS, we managed to save and pay $30,000 and both my husband and I would make those sacrifices again in a heartbeat.

Andy by the way....You're Looking Great!

Terri

Sacrifices! Exactly! My family has not been on vacation either since I started this whole process. Well, I took them with me to a conference at the beach once for a few days. And, I have not tasted Starbucks in years. I used to LOVE me some mocha frappochinos. I have not put more than 2K total in my retirement 403 since 2006! We all make HUGE sacrifices and my family feels this too, I'm sure. But we WLSers need to make decisions for ourselves sometimes. I jut wish people would acknowledge the sacrifices we make and respect us for our decisions and not make flippant remarks like we are so "lucky" etc. Luck has absolutely nothing to do with hard work and even harder sacrifices!

Leah, what an ordeal you endured, you must be a very strong person.

I believe Medicaid is a safely net for those that need it and an important part of a compassionate community.  Although there are many that take advantage of the system, I'm not sure I'd go as far to say the majority do.  And, I think that it is cruel when people assume if you are on public assistance that you are a dead beat.   Thanks God it was there for you an your family.

PS:  I am not nor have ever been so, I'm not being defensive but I am comforted that should I be in a situation where I need help it might be there, that is why I have no problem paying my taxes.

Every extra penny I get goes towards paying down debt so I can use my entire tax return to pay for my surgery this year. I don't want my family to dknow how much I'm paying because they wil assume that I am rolling in money, which is far from the truth- so I can relate!

Did you tell this woman about your situation and how you overcame your obstacles?   Did you explain that luck really didn't have anything to do with it?  I think if expressed in a kind helpful way perhaps she might have learned something.  However, there are many people who are truly disabled and unable to work like you can.  Mental illness is a real disease.   Her frustrations clearly seem petty to you but you haven't walked in her shoes.  Sounds to me by posting this you are looking for a little support and compassion for your own situation and you should have it that is what we are here for, to provide you with support.  I applaud you on your strength, discipline and determination, you sound like an extremely capable woman!

What most people call "Luck" is actually the result of lots of hard work.  The word, luck, is just a label that only decribes the end result and not the sacrifice.  It's a short sighted word and often misused - as in your case.  I have great respect what you've done and even greater respect for what you've not.  You've not given into the "Government will provide" attitude.  That speaks volumes for your character. 

Your story about this woman reminds me that some people when they are helped once will come to expect more and more help.  I'm not saying that she is one of these people but her complaint brings that to mind. 

Just my two cents
Mark

 While there are many who take advantage of the system there are some *****ally need the help. I do feel cheated sometimes when others seem to get all the freebies and I struggle but no one said life is fair. I just have to tell myself I am lucky I could find a way to have some PS. I may never get it all but at least I have gotten some.
I do understand what you are feeling.