Feel like I'm being superficial & vain
I will give you the other side. This is just my opinion, today.
I am 6-1/2 weeks out from my facelift (neck, lipoaugmentation of cheeks, upper blepharoplasty, canthopexy) and brachioplasty. I am 56, but I was in pretty good shape, working out with a personal trainer and exercising moderately for 2 years pre-op to prepare for surgery.
I still feel like CRAP. I am still pretty much regretting spending the last 6+ weeks feeling like CRAP, and while I'm SLOOOOWLY getting better, I don't see the end in sight. I didn't expect to feel like crap, although that may be partially my fault. I may have taken narcotic pain meds for too long (4 weeks, though I'm COMPLETELY off of any meds for 2+ weeks now), and I may have allowed myself to become too immobile for too long (because of the pain meds). I have been having anxiety and even panic attacks, I feel weak, I feel foggy-brained, and right now, I sort of wish I had used the time and money to go on a Mediterranean cruise with my husband instead.
I am 56. I am happily married. The rest of my skin issues are all under my clothes. I am having a very hard time justifying any further surgery, because of the pain, the risk, the money (not that that matters, because I have it and because I am in insurance and lawsuit battles to get it reimbursed), the pain, the anxiety, the waste of weeks and maybe months of my life, the pain -- and because I really don't think it matters that much. In my case, although it looks sort of awful (I'm 56 after all), it is "only" about 10 lbs of skin, not 30.
Getting recon surgery was a juggernaut that got started when my surgeon suggested it (he does some of that work), and I got caught up in the legal issues around the CA laws that mandate coverage. I got laid off a couple of months ago, and I had the money, so I decided to go ahead, because I had the time and money and I have a good chance of getting reimbursed eventually.
I honestly did not expect to feel this crappy and both physcially and mentally f'ed up by this. My face still hurts and is swollen and lumpy looking. My ears and neck are still numb and stingy and creepy feeling, and my hearing is affected by the swollen tissue of the suture lines hidden inside my ears. I can't turn my head fully side to side, because the tissue on my neck was pulled so tightly. My arm scars are pretty horrible looking and lumpy (yes, probably still swollen and they are improving over time but still). I don't have full range of motion in my arms because they are so tight, and there are tendons that are pulled really tightly in my right arm that I can see inside my elbow (which I'm sure will get better, but still). I will probably be glad in the long run that I got my neck fixed (I HATED my turkey wattle) but I think I am not (at this point anyway) willing to put up with even worse for the rest of the work that was scheduled. The idea of the LBL and thighs, compared to how bad my lower arms hurt from just the lipo, freaks me out. The anxiety attacks are debilitating. And I am too weak to spend more than a few hours out and about before I get exhausted. Even the upper body lift, breast lift and lower blepharoplasty that are currently scheduled for early January seems too much right now.
I will be seeing my PCP tomorrow, and I've started seeing my therapist again (is this a midlife crisis??) -- if there is something physical or emotional going on, I want to fix them, but in the meantime, I am not seeing the cost-benefit coming out on the side of more surgery. And I don't mean the money, or whether "I'm" worth it. The pain and anxiety vs. quality of life issues aren't worth it. I have a lot of life to live, and risking losing some of it recuperating from this elective surgery (nope, no rashes or medical necessity) and maybe never feeling as good as I did BEFORE surgery is just not worth it to me.
At least that's how I feel right now. Maybe I'll feel differently in a few weeks or months. I sure hope so.
I am 6-1/2 weeks out from my facelift (neck, lipoaugmentation of cheeks, upper blepharoplasty, canthopexy) and brachioplasty. I am 56, but I was in pretty good shape, working out with a personal trainer and exercising moderately for 2 years pre-op to prepare for surgery.
I still feel like CRAP. I am still pretty much regretting spending the last 6+ weeks feeling like CRAP, and while I'm SLOOOOWLY getting better, I don't see the end in sight. I didn't expect to feel like crap, although that may be partially my fault. I may have taken narcotic pain meds for too long (4 weeks, though I'm COMPLETELY off of any meds for 2+ weeks now), and I may have allowed myself to become too immobile for too long (because of the pain meds). I have been having anxiety and even panic attacks, I feel weak, I feel foggy-brained, and right now, I sort of wish I had used the time and money to go on a Mediterranean cruise with my husband instead.
I am 56. I am happily married. The rest of my skin issues are all under my clothes. I am having a very hard time justifying any further surgery, because of the pain, the risk, the money (not that that matters, because I have it and because I am in insurance and lawsuit battles to get it reimbursed), the pain, the anxiety, the waste of weeks and maybe months of my life, the pain -- and because I really don't think it matters that much. In my case, although it looks sort of awful (I'm 56 after all), it is "only" about 10 lbs of skin, not 30.
Getting recon surgery was a juggernaut that got started when my surgeon suggested it (he does some of that work), and I got caught up in the legal issues around the CA laws that mandate coverage. I got laid off a couple of months ago, and I had the money, so I decided to go ahead, because I had the time and money and I have a good chance of getting reimbursed eventually.
I honestly did not expect to feel this crappy and both physcially and mentally f'ed up by this. My face still hurts and is swollen and lumpy looking. My ears and neck are still numb and stingy and creepy feeling, and my hearing is affected by the swollen tissue of the suture lines hidden inside my ears. I can't turn my head fully side to side, because the tissue on my neck was pulled so tightly. My arm scars are pretty horrible looking and lumpy (yes, probably still swollen and they are improving over time but still). I don't have full range of motion in my arms because they are so tight, and there are tendons that are pulled really tightly in my right arm that I can see inside my elbow (which I'm sure will get better, but still). I will probably be glad in the long run that I got my neck fixed (I HATED my turkey wattle) but I think I am not (at this point anyway) willing to put up with even worse for the rest of the work that was scheduled. The idea of the LBL and thighs, compared to how bad my lower arms hurt from just the lipo, freaks me out. The anxiety attacks are debilitating. And I am too weak to spend more than a few hours out and about before I get exhausted. Even the upper body lift, breast lift and lower blepharoplasty that are currently scheduled for early January seems too much right now.
I will be seeing my PCP tomorrow, and I've started seeing my therapist again (is this a midlife crisis??) -- if there is something physical or emotional going on, I want to fix them, but in the meantime, I am not seeing the cost-benefit coming out on the side of more surgery. And I don't mean the money, or whether "I'm" worth it. The pain and anxiety vs. quality of life issues aren't worth it. I have a lot of life to live, and risking losing some of it recuperating from this elective surgery (nope, no rashes or medical necessity) and maybe never feeling as good as I did BEFORE surgery is just not worth it to me.
At least that's how I feel right now. Maybe I'll feel differently in a few weeks or months. I sure hope so.
L N.
on 12/17/09 11:31 am - , CA
on 12/17/09 11:31 am - , CA
Hi Jenn,
Please don't be so hard on yourself and your desire to like what you see when you look in the mirror. I ,like you, breastfed each of my 3 kids for over 1 year. I went through 3 pregnancies with weight gain and loss each time of 50+ pounds and then finally just ballooned to 230 lbs in my 30's. I had WLS in 2000, but did not lose nearly the weight that many here have. I consider my 80-90 lb loss small when you look at some who have lost 100-200 or more. BUT, I still had sagging boobs, a tummy that I could not bare to look at and more. I spent my 30's and 40' hating myself ( well my body) and wanting a tummy tuck at minimum. Finally, this year, with my husband's blessing, I went for the ps that I had dreamt about for over 20 years. WOW!!! I so wish I had done this much earlier in my life, not only for my own sense of confidence, but for how I present myself now and the sense of freedom I have.. It's not easy to hide your body for 20+ years and still have a healthy relationship with your spouse!!! I feel more beautiful and therefore am more beautiful....I'm not saying that in a vain way, because I am old, but I mean in an inner kind of way....Please look into the ps that you think would give you the boost in yourself that you so richly deserve. I have a few pictures posted of my before and after of my LBL, but I have not posted any pictures yet of my breast lift. I am waiting for some revision work in Jan before I post those ( I did a lift only without implants). Best of luck and reward your years of sacrificing as a mother and wife with something that brings you happiness......
Please don't be so hard on yourself and your desire to like what you see when you look in the mirror. I ,like you, breastfed each of my 3 kids for over 1 year. I went through 3 pregnancies with weight gain and loss each time of 50+ pounds and then finally just ballooned to 230 lbs in my 30's. I had WLS in 2000, but did not lose nearly the weight that many here have. I consider my 80-90 lb loss small when you look at some who have lost 100-200 or more. BUT, I still had sagging boobs, a tummy that I could not bare to look at and more. I spent my 30's and 40' hating myself ( well my body) and wanting a tummy tuck at minimum. Finally, this year, with my husband's blessing, I went for the ps that I had dreamt about for over 20 years. WOW!!! I so wish I had done this much earlier in my life, not only for my own sense of confidence, but for how I present myself now and the sense of freedom I have.. It's not easy to hide your body for 20+ years and still have a healthy relationship with your spouse!!! I feel more beautiful and therefore am more beautiful....I'm not saying that in a vain way, because I am old, but I mean in an inner kind of way....Please look into the ps that you think would give you the boost in yourself that you so richly deserve. I have a few pictures posted of my before and after of my LBL, but I have not posted any pictures yet of my breast lift. I am waiting for some revision work in Jan before I post those ( I did a lift only without implants). Best of luck and reward your years of sacrificing as a mother and wife with something that brings you happiness......
LN
I don't consider what I had done as being in the same vein as most plastic surgery...I consider it to be reconstructive, my body just couldn't bounce back after all the weight I lost. So I feel fine about what I did (fl and lbl) and those took care of my biggest image issues. I still have some saggy arms and thighs and mostly just nipples on top 
But I am okay also with what I haven't done. I saw lots of bl/bas and just don't want scars everywhere on my body. I don't want anymore surgery...if I won the lottery....maybe I would do my thighs...don't know. But I think on some level each person has to decide what is right for them. And at some point you come to grips with your body...and your body image that will never be perfect if you are over 20 and have ever been overweight. I couldn't believe all the beautiful young women I saw at the PS office....I felt sorry for them that they thought they needed to "do" something to be okay.
So I don't know whether we 'deserve' it....but at some point you have to figure out what you need to be you...realizing there there are risks with all surgery and and that you will never be perfect or like those models in the magazines (heck the models don't even look like those pictures! They photoshop most of the gorgeous women we know!). Just get in touch with you and who you are ....really look at yourself...what is comfortable for you, what works for you?
deb366
But I am okay also with what I haven't done. I saw lots of bl/bas and just don't want scars everywhere on my body. I don't want anymore surgery...if I won the lottery....maybe I would do my thighs...don't know. But I think on some level each person has to decide what is right for them. And at some point you come to grips with your body...and your body image that will never be perfect if you are over 20 and have ever been overweight. I couldn't believe all the beautiful young women I saw at the PS office....I felt sorry for them that they thought they needed to "do" something to be okay.
So I don't know whether we 'deserve' it....but at some point you have to figure out what you need to be you...realizing there there are risks with all surgery and and that you will never be perfect or like those models in the magazines (heck the models don't even look like those pictures! They photoshop most of the gorgeous women we know!). Just get in touch with you and who you are ....really look at yourself...what is comfortable for you, what works for you?
deb366
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