Did you "hide" money for surgery?

I personally feel all women should hide some money.   You never know what will happen from day to day Things do happen.

I'm with you on this one!  I think all women should have their own private money - one never knows and it's not that odd for a man to come home one day and say that he's no longer in love and wants a divorce.  Call me jaded - I maybe, but I was married for 22 years and didn't have any money on the side.  I made 3 x what my spouse made, but every penny went into the family account for bills and other things.

What a hot topic.... you certainly have opened the door here....

I don't know what is right or wrong, but I will tell you if I were in the type of relationship that you have painted a picture of, I would get out of it sooner than I'd have PS.  We are women in the year 2009 who can only be held down if we want to be or if we allow someone hold us down.  You work 1.5 jobs... you can make it on your own!!!  But I digress, that was not your question. 

I would not hide money- I would be straight and tell it like it is.  "I'm going to save the money I earn from my part time job for PS."  Period, it's not open for discussion.  As for the kids.... you don't want to know what I would say to them.  I am sure you have sacrificed for them and taken care of them for their entire lives.... it is time for you to live and feel good about yourself.  

I met my second husband 2 years and 2 days ago.  Two weeks after meeting him I told him 2 things that I was doing for myself at some point...I was buying myself a Mink coat and having a Tummy tuck.  I have done both, not asked for a cent to do either.  He has been supportive, but I realize my situation is vastly different than yours. 

Good luck...be strong, hold your head high and most of all...live the life you want to live with no regrets.

All the best-
Susan

I would not disagree with having your own money, even if it means hiding it.  A girl has to do what a girl has to do.  But -- if you are hiding it, a checking account is going to leave a paper trail.  That would be my biggest concern. 

If he ever finds out about tell him it is your Christmas Club.  I think pretty much the Christmas Club accounts have gone by the wayside.  But it was a payroll deduction savings plan.  You really did not get interest on it -- you just got the last payment free.  You could start one I think it was $5 a payday and a few weeks before Christmas the bank would issue the funds.

Red

     I don't have my "own money" or my own bank account, and am not in the situation that you are in.  I spend money, whether on clothes, groceries, etc and no questions are asked.  I maintain the household and do the finances.  I have never had to "hide" (or just plain save $ elsewhere), but if I did, I would.  Maybe everyone would feel better about it if you started tracking expenses and how much gets spent on everyone else.  It adds up quickly and then maybe you wouldn't feel so quilty about spending some on yourself. 

   There is something to be said for having a happy wife/mom.  I have found that if I am down or depressed it affects my entire family.  If I feel better about myself, it shows and we all seem to be happier!

Best of Luck!

It appears that  with job #1 you are the one "bringing home the bacon" so to speak. Therefore you should have total control over your income from job #2. Unless of course Hubby is working 2 jobs to make ends meet around the house.  Then you might want to re-thiink things. Other wise You have to do what you need to do for YOU! I've had my plastics and my car is a peice of crap on it's last leg. My mother has no idea why I chose plastics over a car, to me it was a no brainer.

My only advice is to put the money in and INTEREST bearing savings account.
Why a checking account that ususally does not pay interest? A savings account would. And that is what you would be doing...saving.

hello everyone
it is often hard for most women to do anything for themselves.
it seem as if we put everyone  else first.  Most family member and friends will not understand
what we go thought. if we dare think about ourselves we are selfish.  not all mates are understanding.  i saved for my plastics, and told my partner, but i think at times, he might feel that this is unnecessary.  I have raised and taken care of my children and its my time, and dammit if
i want my tt or my breast done, I will get. 
the problems is too many people want to tell otters how to live.  if she wants to save for
her operation and not tell her husband who business is it.   most husband will, buy what they
see fit to buy for themselves.
you only have one life to live and we must learn to take care of ourselves.  the poster works, and pays household bills, she should be able to have something out of that. 
i often question, the cost of my operations, the money could always be use for something
else, but i look great and have no regrets, and i am learning to take care of me as well as I take care of everyone else.

girls save your money, and don't let anyone one else tell you not to.

Debra