Bible study making me ponder...

So I am in these 2 bible studies right now that are both really good. (Hole in the Gospel & Crazy Love) They seem to go along with one another as far as being all about being content with your life, your body, and your stuff, and giving of yourself to others by volunteering, helping the poor, the sick etc. It got me thinking for the first time ever that maybe I am being selfish by wanting to have plastic surgery. Maybe I should just learn to be content with the body God gave me, and I destroyed by overeating. *sigh* Not to mention by my having the surgery I am undertaking a huge financial burden (even after insurance) that is going to really set me back and keep me from being able to help others as much. I've been battling these thoughts for a few weeks now. On the other hand my loose skin does cause me back pain, humiliation, and I doubt I could ever be completely at peace about my loose skin. I've wanted this and prayed about it for over 4 years now and never doubted it until recently. Am I wrong to have this plastic surgery?

Kendra, I think these are really important questions to ponder!

No one should have surgery that doesn't seem or feel "right," and I think asking yourself about these issues is really valuable.

In general, however, it might be useful to consider the difference between reconstruction and cosmetic surgery.  Reconstruction is also cosmetic (not necessarily the other way around), and there is a difference between making oneself healthy and whole, and plain old fashioned vanity.

Would you be willing to ask yourself honestly how much of the need for plastics is reconstruction to a more functional self, as opposed to beautifying yourself at great personal and social expense?

I also asked myself these same questions.  I asked them of myself even before RNY, which I considered to be a major ethical quandry.  Was it right to alter my physiology to accommodate gluttony?  And later I asked myself, is it right to alter my body to get rid of ten pounds of hideous skin?

Ultimately i chose to have the RNY because it reconstructed my ability to function normally, and to do good works in the world.  The plastics reconstructed my ability to function normally also -- but in a different way.  People move differently who are not swathed in yards and yards of extra skin -- 

I really appreciate this issue!!!

Thank you for you input. Ultimately plastic surgery will help me function more normally, and not have to wear girdles all the time and long sleeve shirts in the summer and have such horrible back pain. I'm just worrying over the expense more than anything.

Oh I agree! You know, no one getting a nose job or cleft lip repair questions the morality of plastic surgery. Who knows, perhaps her newfound confidence post-surgery will enable her to be a better witness and increase involvement, etc.. I don't know. I feel the same way as Kendra too. I am still struggling with this and everyone in my house is opposed to me spending my money on myself.. they think I should spend it on them.. braces, home repairs & improvements, new instruments, etc.. like those things glorify God either..sheesh.. If i waste money eating out or getting my hair done, I'm not using that money for God either. I don't think God expects us all to be saints, do you?

Here is my take on it, as a Christian.....

After going through this process already (losing 110 pounds with my rny, and recently having a LBL) I am more myself than I ever have been. For the first time in my life I look in the mirror and I'm pleased. Getting rid of the weight and now the skin has brought me freedom in a physical sense. ... but the emotional and mental transformation has made an impact on the world around me.

Friends have told me that I have inspired them to become healthy, to exercise, to pursue things for their own life that they thought were impossilbe. Now to me, that is just as valuable (if not more) than giving of my material resources!  It has opened up opportunity for conversations about transformation, being afraid of change, the fear of failure, etc.....how often do you get to have those kind of talks with people??

I would ask you to consider this thought:  Improve yourself so that you can be better equipped to give to the world that needs you.

I don't know why it is so easy to under value ourselves....I don't know if its easier to do so because we are women and its taught that it is a noble thing to put everyone before ourselves....or if part of the problem is that as an overweight person we think that we have nothing to contribute.  All of that thinking is poo-poo.  :)

 You are valuable. You have something to contribute. You are worthy of happiness. You were meant to live a healthy life.  

Even with the financial burden of paying for surgery, you can still help and give to others. I don't think that you can ever underestimate God's ability to provide for you.

 

 Kendralynn....no you are not wrong to have PS.   If your back hurts due to the skin pulling on your body you need to have it or you could end up having health issues in the future.    I think that God wants us to be happy with our life and with your body.    I know that many people think PS is stupid and a waste of money....but i don't.    Sometimes you just can't get away without PS because of pain that the skin causes you.   Good luck on your decision.   Don't let Satan use those bible studies to turn around your joy and replace it with uncertainty.   I know God will give you the answers you need to hear.


Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

I too am a Christian, and I feel guilty now praying for MORE weight loss and for plastic surgery, because in a lot of ways, I feel like I am a litle obsessed with my appreance. On the other hand, I feel like when I am able to accept myself, when I complete the PS portion of this, that I will be more "available" emotionally to other people and other aspects of my life.

If you were a drug addict, would you feel selfish if you were in rehab? No, you would feel guilty if you were still "using". It's funny that we feel guilty when we are trying to take better care of our bodies, rather than when we are poisoning them with food, fat and obesity, when in fact, gluttony is a sin.

Anyway, I have the same thoughts of you. I don't think they are 100% wrong either, but I think God gives us all challeges, and often times them means to correct them and/or succeed. God wants us to be happy. The way to resolve the feelings of selfishness is make sure that you have balance. I am looking for a way to volunteer right now so that I'm not focused on me so often. In other words, your desire to be a better you is not incompatable with being a good person. You can do both!

Best of luck

Kat

I had these same questions and I have been praying and the answer I got about 1 month before RNY was this: God's word says He will give us the desires of our hearts...if our petitions line up with his will he will grant us our requests.  So I began praying Lord, if this is your will for me please open the doors for this to move forward...if not please clearly close the doors and remove this desire from my heart.  Well, doors began flying open and the whole process moved so fast and went so well I truly believe that God was with me and I was blessed by it.  I am now in the process of praying for the TT...Believe me I am sure I could use alot more than the TT, but the desire has not been on my heart for that...I just want to feel "normal" and my panni area has always been there...I am praying doors will open for this procedure.  If not I pray the desire will be lifted from my heart.  God is faithful and he loves us more than we love ourselves and His word says he wants to Bless us according to HIS riches and GLory, I dont think that means just financially, I think I have been blessed in all areas of my life because of accepting this promise. 

So that is my take on the situation!!  I hope that helped and I am looking forward to your story! Blessings to you. -Jen Q.

Thanks so much girls! I am feeling much better about going forward with this. Surgery is scheduled on Dec. 22nd!!!! I do feel that I will be a better witness once I have more self confidence in myself.

~K