Please I need outside advice!
I'm scheduled for my surgery Sept 3. I'm having Full TT, MR, BL, BA, Brachio and lipo. I have a wonderful, supportive loving family and extended family.
However, my father-in-law had a stroke 8 1/2 months ago on the day I went in to have My RNY done. He has had multiple strokes ever since. He was put on hospice about 5 months ago. He has had repeated strokes. Now hospice has called in the family because he isn't expected to make it. I talked to my family and my mother-in-law about rescheduling my surgery. So far everyone is against me rescheduling. I feel guilty enough about having this surgery without the added guilt that I will be keeping my husband from his mother in her time of need. (Its his step father not his bio father.) However they have been married for 35 years. So he raised my husband and has been the only father he knew.
If I reschedule my surgery since I have a home daycare I'm putting my families out. They have found alternate care for my recovery period. It will make it more difficult on them.
Plus, my paperwork from the PS office says if I reschedule within 2 weeks of my surgery I lose my $500.00 deposit. I have already paid for my surgery in full. So I don't know how that will work either.
The hospice nurses don't know anything for sure. Only the man upstairs knows when our time will be. They said it could be today, or he could come out of it. There are no guarantees. My husband and MIL both say that he would want me to go through with my plans. If I do reschedule for a few weeks from now, We could still be in the same situation.
This is really bothering me. I think the guilt from doing something most people see unnecessary especially at a time like this is what is bothering me the most.
Thanks again for your input!
Kim J!.
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me." Erma Bombeck
19 lbs lost before surgery
9/3/09 Full TT, MR, BL, BA, Arm Reduction and Lipo 10-12 lbs skin/fat removed
on 8/27/09 3:20 am - West Central FL☼RIDA , FL
Wow I feel for you.
I can share with you that when my grandmother was slowly deteriorating and not expected to make it more than a couple hours then days, she kept hanging on....my father (it's his mother I'm talking about) rescheduled his knee replacement surgery twice because each time she took a turn for the worst. Be both times she pulled out of it. This went on for 6 months.......he finally scheduled for a 3rd time and did have the surgery.
Anyhow my point in this story is sadly you don't know if your FIL has 1 more day, 1 more week or 1 more month.
Since both your husband and MIL are telling you to go ahead as planned, I would do so.
So far as the $500 deposit I'm sure if you reschedule your deposit will be applied to the new date...especially under the cir****tances.
Not sure if that helps or not but if I were you I would still plan on surgery.
Ruth
PS- I kind of feel like we are surgery sisters since I'm have mine done on Sept 2nd. :-)
I would say go ahead with your plans and then adjust as necessary.
Red
Thanks so much!
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me." Erma Bombeck
19 lbs lost before surgery
9/3/09 Full TT, MR, BL, BA, Arm Reduction and Lipo 10-12 lbs skin/fat removed
on 8/27/09 4:37 am - San Diego, CA
La Jolla Cosmetic Surgery Centre
Thats why I come here for support!
Thanks again!
Kim J!.
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me." Erma Bombeck
19 lbs lost before surgery
9/3/09 Full TT, MR, BL, BA, Arm Reduction and Lipo 10-12 lbs skin/fat removed
Believe me, I've had the "doing something most people see unnecessary" guilt feelings - but this is necessary for self-esteem and how you feel about yourself - my husband and family tell me this everytime I worry that we have other things the money could be "better spent" on than my extra skin. Your family is telling you the same thing - this is important to you and to them - listen to them.
Highest 323 / Surgery Day 289 / Current 165 - RNY 10-27-07, Hit Goal 08-18-08. Tummy tuck 10-28-09 - UW Plastic Surgery Residency Ctr, Breast/Arm Lift w/Dr. Sepehr Egrari in Bellevue, WA on 5-22-13!
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance. Unknown
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me." Erma Bombeck
19 lbs lost before surgery
9/3/09 Full TT, MR, BL, BA, Arm Reduction and Lipo 10-12 lbs skin/fat removed
