your opinions.. am I selfish?

Last year I took a part time job (in addition to my full time job) and started putting that money in a savings account specifically for plastics. I'm a teacher and I also took a summer job.  I have my PS quote and I should have enough saved up by next summer for the whole kit and kaboodle.
 
well, now my husband's business is doing bad and he needs to borrow money. The house needs a new roof and the kid's need braces. we dont qualify for reduced lunchs anymore due to my part time job so school lunch next year will be 2.5K for 4 kids (including breakfast).

I am feeling guilted into using the 5k I have already saved to help cover these expenses.. but part of me is like.. heck no! I deserve this surgery.

People say  Idon't look that bad and my weight loss came off well with very little sagging skin.. but i don't see it this way.. thus the 12 hour work days...

I'm angry, frustrated, and feeling guilty.. like what kind of  a mom would choose plastics over her kids teeth.. 

Can anyone relate? What should I do?

If it was me, I'd use the money for the roof, the braces, the business, and then I'd feel resentful later!  I guess my feeling is that once you have kids, it's all about them and their needs.  If your husband's business fails, you probably won't be able to have plastics any way.  Your money will need to pay for the basics to keep a roof over your family's heads.  Sometimes it stinks to have to put your own needs and wants aside, but that comes with the title "Parent".  Sorry things aren't going well for you in that respect, but maybe it'll just take a little longer til you get that surgery you deserve.  Good luck!

Kathy

hello
sometimes you should not let the left hand know what the right hand is doing.
when my daughter found out that I had money saved, of course she had a list of
things that she wanted and needed. 
fast forward, I was not approved for my tt, but guess what
i have the money saved to pay for it.  8/7  i went without and saved a little bit by little bit
she asked me the other what about buying me a car. 
i love her anyway, next  year I will work on her car

Debra

Good for you Deb, sometimes you have to do tough love. If your daughter is old enough to drive then she is probably old enough to work. Children appreciate things & take care of them better when they pay or help to pay for waht they want
good luck with your TT
Susan

I'm sorry you have this dilemma but I would try looking for a compromise with myself. For all the extra things listed what is a want and what is a basic need that must be met. I would say braces can wait but food can't.  Will the roof cave in if not fixed or can your flat tummy wait another 3 to 6 months.
Don't make the decisions based on guilt you will resent it.

I don't think u are being selfish, I just think it is part of the journey for many of us that we just don't want to skip and thats okay. Life is all about timing. The right time for everything. Look for the balance it is there and in the end you will have your surgery. Everything is not required to happen on the same day...although sometimes it feels like everything is happening on the same day sometimes.

Heres to resolution and a happy house.

****My opinion as to how I would proceed****

Wow - this really is a tough postion to be in.

I guess if it was me, I'd try as many options as possible for everyone to get a little of what they need.  Do any of you have insurance that would cover the kids' braces?  Can your husband try some different tactics to revive his business or go out and get another job the way you did?  The roof - how bad are we talking here?  Are we talking it can wait a couple more winters or are we talking buckets in the attic?  School meals are more doable.  They can eat at home in the a.m. with some better planning and making them take more responsibility for themselves and they can take sandwiches or leftovers to school for lunch. 

I guess what I am saying is that ALL should be willing to pitch in and make some compromises.  You may need to use PART of that money to help out but not necessarily all of it.  It may result in you having to postpone plastic surgery for a few more months or maybe a year.  Your needs and wants are important too so don't make yourself feel bad for wanting what you feel you deserve.  Yes, your husband and children and household needs are important too - but those things are responsibilities that should be shared by both you and your husband so allow me to say that he could be doing more to help out financially so that you are not in the position to have to hand over all your savings - which realistically, are you REALLY going to get that back? Probably not.  So it's best to part with a portion of it, ask your husband to step up a bit, and going forward, it might not be necessary for all to know what you have stashed on the side.

*The best way to keep something secret is to not let anyone know you have it*

My husband has not contributed to our finances since he quit his job and decided to start his own business two years ago which is why I kindof felt like "i earned it, its my money" he keeps saying his business will turn a profit soon, yada yada and he barely makes enough to cover his overhead. I "lent" him 2k three months ago, he said he'd pay me back in one month. havent seen it yet. I want him to be happy and he hates working for other people and loves his job..it just doesnt make any money. When he made money, i still made more than him anyway and I guess I always will. I am a very hard worker. He aint. He does the minimum.
I bet if i didn't do all those extra hours, then these expenses would not seem so pressing for everyone. I feel like its only because they know I have the money. I'm beginning to think I should secretly open up another bank account for my money I earn from my part time jobs. Oh and yeah, the roof is in bad shape, not real serious leaks. just some issues in the eaves and overhangs, and staining, etc.. my kids WANT braces.. they do not need them.. but that is my opinion, ofcourse not theirs. Just like they need those AE/aeropostale/express, mall clothes .. heck.. i shop from Walmart and target for myself,

I'm going to reply to you privately.

Not looking to start trouble, PLEASE, but at especially for $2500/yr. for breakfast and lunches at school, why don't YOU make their breakfasts before school (or prep. the night before) and also make their lunches to take to school?  Typically, the school food is loaded with calories and carbs and never as healthful as made at home.  Even if the food was free, can't imagine why the kids are eating school food.  That alone would be a large savings of $$$.  And you know, better than anyone, the suffering that goes along with weight gain.