I am suppose to have panni removed

Hello all well lets tell the whole story.... On May 6Th my sister sherry was having her TT well our mother got admitted to the same hospital the same morning by another sister because she had been gasping for air all night she had double pneumonia OK so all is pretty well with my sister she had a rough start but well my Mom may she RIP passed away Monday night at & pm with about 7 members of our family preying over her I could go on and on .... but I am not sad she is gone because she suffered those last few days terrible .... Turns out she hadpulnamary fibrosis....  and this time getting sick turned her lungs into concrete! OK now my question while I was staying with my very ill Mother I asked her do u want me to cancel my surgery she said no I am getting in lots of protein and building up my body but I know half of healing is mental too I am totally excited mentally so what can or should I do my surgery is next Thursday! May 28 ... I am worried now and would like all the feed back I can get I will listen to any advice I can get!!!

First - sorry to hear about your mom.

Second - that's up to you.  My relationship with MY mom would have the 'show' go on - but that's how me and her roll.  If you discussed it with you and YOU are comfortable going on - then do it!  I don't have a big family - so that whole pressure from relatives thing never applies to me.

Best of luck to you!

I would suggest most importantly to not take a poll amongst the relatives.  You will get many opinions and probably some hurt feelings.  You know how your mom felt.  Be sure about how you feel and go for it if you are ready.  That said, our emotions fly after surgery so expect to feel the surgery blues and have it spill over into your grief.  It takes awhile for greif to settle in and it will get all mixed up in your post surgery blues.  I am not saying this to influence you, but to prepare you.

I am so sorry for your loss.  Loris

Shirley, I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom, and I understand your being glad she isn't suffering any more.  I felt the same way when my mom died.  It is still hard, though, isn't it, to lose our mamas.

Your mom encouraged you to go ahead with your surgery, so you are showing her no disrespect by going ahead with it if you want to.  In fact, it may be better to go ahead, while family members are close by and supporting one another, than it would be later.  If you want to do it on the 28th, just remember that you have your mom's blessing, and I'm sure she is proud of you for taking charge of your life, losing weight, and getting healthy again.  Do it in her memory ... but only if it feels right to you.  God bless!
--Dorothy

Hi shirley,

I took care of my very ill mother until the day she died at our home.  She suffered from emphysema for many years and in the end it was not a pretty death.  So I feel as though I really can relate to your situation.  My mom died in 2004, I had started looking into WLS in spring 2003, my mother in law was in the end stages of colon cancer and died in Dec. 2003.  My mother died just 4 mos later in April 2004.  My husband was in a serious car accident in Feb 04 and hospitalized for nearly a year.  There was no way I could of had surgery when I really wanted to because I had way too much on my plate during 03-04 including a divorce in Oct. 04.

I had dedicated alot of time and of course emotion into caring for my mother and my mother in law during their illnesses.  Then it was finally time for me.  It still was a while before i was able to have my wls, I ended up having it in 2006 but now here I am almost 3 years later and a beautiful panni removal 6 weeks ago and I feel fantastic.

My mother would have wanted me to go ahead with the surgery also.  I agree with a previous post who said don't poll the relatives.  Go with your gut, you know you had your mother's blessing and ask yourself what would be different or how it would benefit anyone if you DONT have the surgery.  I think you will find that the answer is nothing and no one except that you won't be where you want to be.

Just expect the emotional rollercoaster that comes with grief and might be amplified by surgery but all of us are here for you.

Hang in there.  My thoughts are with you and your family.

Caroline.

thank u thank u I will keep all of u posted on my post surgery progress and I am so glad this site is here !!!!! thank you thank you! shirley

Very sorry to hear about your Mom.   Best of luck with your surgery.