To the tune of My sharona

I told PS on tuesday that I revamped the song My Sharona to "my seroma" and sang it for him..well ok only a few lines but he thought it was funny. Good news is the seroma hasn't come back since drain flew into the toilet. But I still feel like crap. Primary gave me some Rx iron pills that kill my stomach when I take them but I endure it because my ferritin level is very low.  So low in fact PS ALMOST gave me a blood transfusion in hospital after my surgery but my levels amazingly came up after he told me this.  I willed my levels to come up in my mind and it worked.  Weird huh? I'm back at work but my energy level is pretty low and I'm draggin. Other than that no significant changes other than I see PS in a month. I did address when we could schedule my next surgery...PS asked me if I am a glutton for punishment or a masochist. lol We are thinking late july or august.  He doesn't seem to wanna hurry this next surgery much..It's me that is pushing it. I am ready to be done with these surgeries.  4 rounds in one year is alot, but I just wanna get this done. I got really upset yesterday.  I went over to my SO parents house to cut their lawn and somehow the topic of my many PS came up.  SO mom decided to tell me how she really feels about it.  She says my PS are for vanity reasons only and she doesn't see how they are medical nessesity.  She has seen my skin, she knows how much weight I've lost..I was floored.  I thought for sure she was on the same page as me and it turns out she isn't. I was very upset to say the least.  I wanted to leave but I didn't.  I simply told her that it was/is a medical nessesity and until she lived in MY skin, she could never know.  I was civil and kind.  But I know she sensed I was hurt because after I cut the lawn she was all sweetness and light. bah!! I told SO about it last night and he got mad.  He told me she doesn't understand nor does she know.  I was quite surprised at his anger towards her as he has never really expressed one way or another whether or not he felt I needed the PS that I've had.  She told me if I am not dying from the skin that it is not a medical nessesity. Screw her. She didn't have to lift a mons that hung in the toile****er just to pee.  She didn't see me almost amputate my arm skin in the door of the car or accidently dip it into boilling water while cooking. She didn't see the bleeding ulcers or many creams I used to control rashes under the panni or feel the backpain from the very heavy pendulous breasts I carried around. It still hurts though and I crave her approval like a idiot being she is my SO mom.   My feelings have changed about how much I trust her now. I usually pick up on people that have negative feelings towards me but I diddn't in this case. Oh well I can't expect everyone to ever understand if they haven't been in my shoes.

i remember that song i was singing it to myself while reading your post i had a seroma too it scared me cuz i was afraid i was gonna end up with a wound vac! but, it resolved eventually i did have an open wound for a while and had to pack it twice a day but, that all got better then had scar revision in february and it looks ok kf

Good news about the seroma--not so great news about your SO's mom's comments.    Do you think she might be a tad jealous?      I think that most of us have something in common--that need for others' approval.  I know I still want my mom's, and I'm never gonna get it.  My brother is the be-all, end-all to her, and he always will be.  Oh well. Too bad she doesn't hold to the adage: "Never judge another till you've walked a mile in her shoes."  And even then, a mile is way too short to be judgemental.    hang in there,

Hey TQ:

Glad to hear the seroma is finally gone.  Sorry to hear about your SO mother's ignorance and insensitivity.  Your transformation is an amazing journey of perseverance and success.  Keep your head up! Kim

Focus now.... the seroma didn't come back. You're fit to cut grass....life is GOOD! Since you aren't dependent on her for surgery money, her opinion is simply that, her opinion. And like ******** everybody has one.  If it still seems important, I would mention exactly what you wrote here, about the creams, and rashes, the back pain from the weight of your breasts, the arm skin that not only irritates, but embarrasses as well. Hell, ask her if she would feel good under the same cir****tances. Maybe she is too old to appreciate how much being happy with how we look affects our self-esteem and daily level of satisfaction with our life. We may reach her point one day, but this 52 year old sagging ass is very happy to look better. I can wear a swim suit and not attract looks that say " how can she be seen like this?". KWIM?  Her approval with this aspect of your life is going to have to fall by the wayside. Let her approve of your grass-cutting skills, and any others you may have! I love my sisters here on this journey with me, only you can understand how it feels. Edited for spelling. Probably still bad spelling!

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I always enjoy reading your posts and this one started out so fun. Hon, I'm really sorry you had to deal with that kind of thoughtlessness.  Especially with you there to mow her lawn!  You've gone through so much trying to improve your function and looks, only to have someone you respect shoot you down.  But there was a positive there.  Your SO came to your defense.  He hopped off his fence (he has never really expressed one way or another whether or not he felt I needed the PS that I've had) and got mad; said she doesn't understand nor does she know.  But HE does, and that makes all the difference. I'm sure there are things she takes meds for, has appliances for (cane, etc) or someone does for her that are seen as medical necessities and are legitimate, although she's not dying from them.  There's always been a negative view of plastic surgery.  It's always been seen as purely vanity based and, therefore, unnecessary.  Maybe she's forgotten how you used to look, how difficult it was for you to move.  Did she see or know about your rashes and the back pain?  I know I didn't tell anyone except my husband most of it. Hopefully things will improve again.  You seem like a fighter, but it doesn't mean you can't be hurt.  I'll say a prayer for your emotional health.