So Sad

My big orange tom cat went missing last week. Today he came draging home, not able to move his back legs and covered in blood and pus and maggots...I took him to the ER vets and they put him down. It was very sad. I wanted to keep him alive so bad but he was suffering. I can't stop crying, and think part of the reason is I have been very tense due to my wls next monday... If I ever get another cat I will not let it outside, no matter how it cries. Kate