Single Parents / Infact Children

I am a single parent of a 1 year old and would love to hear from any others in the same situation that have had surgery. How did you manage to care for your child right after surgery? How long was it before you could do things like pick your child up. (My son loves to jump and crawl all over me) What impact if any did your having surgery have on your child? How do your eating habbits affect them? (good or bad) Any advice or suggestions? Thanks, Melissa

First of all, I read you're profile and I swear we could be twins! Aside from starting out with similar stats, all the fears you mentioned are ones I have rolling through my head every day. Thank you for posting this! I asked a few weeks ago and got no answer...this board isn't terribly active so it's understandable. So, while I haven't been through the surgery yet, I'll give you my take on things as they stand now. In a couple months when I'm post-op I'll update. I should say, I'm not a single parent but his dad is next to worthless when it comes to taking care of him (terrible to say, I know) so I might as well be. Plus, I told him not to take time off work after my surgery anyway. My son will be almost 18 months by the time of surgery. He's been walking since he was 10 months so he gets around really well and I don't have to do as much lifting as I used to. I am planning to make my own life a little easier by switching him to a toddler bed before then so I don't have to lift him in and out of the crib. If I could just get him potty trained I wouldn't even have to worry about changing diapers...guess it's a ittle early for that though. Also, my mom will be coming over during the day for a few weeks to help me out with him. Like most boys he's a hyper little handful. LOL I've had surgery before, nothing this major (well, aside form my c-section when they told me not to lift anything heavier than the baby), but it's usually at least a couple weeks before you can do any lifting over a couple pounds. Like yours, my son thinks I am a jungle gym (and my belly a trampoline...sigh) and I'm terrified he'll climb onto my lap for what starts out as an innocent snuggle and next thing you know I'll have a knee or foot in my incision. I guess you just have to do what you can to explain to him that you have an owie and he needs to be careful. I know that sounds ridiculous with kids as young as ours but what else can you do? I'm REALLY hoping that my eating habits will have a good impact on his own eating. He's young enough that he hasn't really developed any bad habits yet (since what he eats is totally up to me...lol) and since junk food won't be around post-op that won't be an option for him so it won't be something he's used to. Also, I hope it helps him learn about portion control. Yea, I won't be able to eat a normal size serving of anything (at least for awhile) but maybe he'll see me not taking seconds or even having a heaping portion the first time around and realize that he shouldn't either. Does that make sense? I was a thin kid and little heavy as a teen so I never got picked on or anything, but his daddy was a fat kid and said it was just awful. So I'm trying really hard, without being overly obsessive, to help him avoid going through that. Anyway, like I said, once I'm post op I'll update with some better tips or things I learned the hard way not to do. In the meantime I hope someone who has been through it responds so I can get some advice. LOL

I am dealing with the same issue with my baby. Right now my plan is that my mom will come help me after the surgery. I know that Im lucky that she is retired and can do this. I am married, but my husband cant take off work for my recovery. I have 3 kids, my oldest is 12 so he should be a big help when he is home (and wants to be). I have a daughter who is 3 and she will be starting preschool 3 mornings a week by the time I have surgery. And then my baby who is 8 months right now. I had him by c section and I have 2 hernias right now...probably from lifting my daughter without thinking. I had another surgery when my daughter was about 18 months old and we did fine. My mother wasn't able to come then, and my husband took offwork for 2 weeks. We managed. My daughter did try to bounce on my tummy one time and it hurt, but she didnt damage anything. My incision was from my belly button to my pubic bone. I dont know what type of surgery you are having done, Im planning rny laproscopically and the incisions will be minimal compared to that one. Aside from that, the actual skin incisions usually heal so quick.

My son had just turned 2 right before my surgery. I was able to do a lot for him, just not everything. I think the hardest part was diapers. I would get him to crawl up on the bed so I didnt have to bend. The other challenge was the car seat. I did start driving at like 2 weeks out so I had to teach him to get into his seat and then I would just buckle him in. The lifting part of being with them was tough. My doctor told me no lifting anything over 10-15 lbs until 6 weeks post op. Since he weighed about 25lbs @ 2 years I was not picking him up! I also had my family help out a lot. I explained to him Mommy had boo boos and he was very sensitive to not jump or touch my stomach. Since I didnt want to eat at all and he eats what we would make, I stocked up on the little dinners and eat to make meals. He still eats the gerber meals, like the pastas and chicken and stars and so on. It wasnt fresh meals but it served a great purpose until I was able to stand and cook for him again. I found it to be a great help to have all his stuff ready in advance. Being a single mom I dont always have someone to run up to target and get diapers and wipes or whatever else you need. When you get you ready, get him ready. Stock up, so you dont have to make trips to the store unless its an emergency. You wont feel like making that trip, trust me! I wish you the best of luck! Lola lap rny 5/18/05 260/125