I could use some help

here is my problem I have 2 kids 15 & 14 and I haven't had the surgery yet, I have to the weightloss for insurance. but my ex-husband has told my kids that if I do this I will DIE so now both of them think that I don't love them anymore and I want to DIE . So please if anyone else has had this problem could you help me on something else to tell them to help them understand .

Your children should be old enough for you to talk to them and help them understand the mortality rate. My suggestion, sit down and have a talk with them. Gather some information online about the sucess and failure rates...and be completely honest. I've heard the number is 1 in 200 die from surgery complications. Also explain to them what complications your overweight life can cause, let them know what health risks you would be helping to aleviate by getting the surgery (heart problems, diabetes, etc.). Let them know that you would never go to a surgeon you don't trust. You may even want to take them to a support group meeting or information session in the area. That way not only could they learn more about the surgery, but they might be able to talk to some people post-op (who obviously didn't die) about what complications they had and what their life is like now. You need to provide them with all the information. Yes, there is a chance you could die to complications from surgery, but let them know that it's because you want to LIVE a better life with/for them that you are choosing to take that risk. Like I said, they should be old enough for you to talk straight with them...give them all the information (unlike what your husband has done) and let them make their own conclusions. They may still not be happy with your decisions, but there is a better chance that they will understand why you are making it.

Thank you so much its just that I ran out of ideas so after reading this I called the weightloss center and met with a lady that told me what surgery the Doctor might be doing and she said that could meet with the surgeon in Sept after my weightloss tracking for the Insurance. So thank you for all your info now I can get everything that I need to show them . Dawn

show the children this web site let them read all over it my children are 7, 11, and 13 and I told them that there is a possibility that I could die but we live with that possibility every day anyway I also explained to them that when I have this surgery I will be looseing weight and I will be healthy and we will be able to do the things they have all ways wanted to do and they are ok with this they are afraid for me but I did not want anything to be a surprise just let them read people's profiles on here I think that would ease their mind