Son scared I'll die?!!!

I need some major help...I'm 27 yearsold and a single mom, my son is 6 years old and I have tried to explain my wls to him and he is sooo scared that something will happen to me, he has over-heard (typical nosy 6 year old) talking about all the bad possibilities, and I'm sure he even heard death...because he is now having nightmares that I have been taken away and he's all alone!!HELP ME!!! Please give me some advice on what to tell him and how to explain all this to him LOVING MOTHER IN NEED

Oh, you poor thing! And your poor son! First of all, are you having open or lap? That makes a huge difference, because the risk factor is greatly reduced for lap (at least, according to my surgeon). No matter what, you should explain to your son that, sure, surgery can be a little bit scary. But you are going to have wonderful doctors and nurses who specialize in this, and they are going to take extra special care of you. Also, make sure you let him know all the good things that will come of the surgery -- your increased health, energy level and ability to do cool things with him. Is there another adult who can be a support person to him, too? A favorite grandparent, aunt/uncle, or friend of yours? I know how upsetting it must be to you to have him be so worried. I am hoping to have lap-band, and I have a four-year-old son and one 18 months old. I am a teeny bit nervous myself, but I'm looking at this from the perspective of wanting to be around for them for a LONG time! Best wishes to you, Jodi

DEAR MOM IN NEED- MAYBE THIS WILL HELP, THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE ON LINE HAVE YOUR SON CLOSE BY AND READ SOME OF THE SUCCESS MESSAGES OUT LOUD. LET HIM LOOK AT THE BEFORE/AFTER PICTURES AND SEE ALL THE SMILES OF ALL THE 'BIG LOSERS' . TO A SIX YEAR OLD ANY HOSPITAL STAY, SICKNESS OR SURGERY IS A FRANTIC THING. ALLOW HIM TO VOICE HIS CONCERNS AND THEN REASSURE HIM YOU'LL BE BACK HOME VERY SOON AND BACK ON YOUR FEET AND FEELING BETTER. ONCE YOUR EXTRA WEIGHT STARTS TO COME OFF-YOU'LL FEEL GREAT AND YOUR SON,EVEN THOUGH HES VERY YOUNG WILL SEE THE DIFFERENCE IN HIS MOM. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS.

Thank you so much for your advice, he loves getting online with me...I never even thought of letting him go to the website and let him hear of all the success stories, the pics will be a great visual for him. He's been admitted to the hospital at least once a year ever since he's been 6months old so he doesn't like hospitals, so all of this scares him, I don't think I'm gonna let him come to see me while I'm in the hospital I think the tubes and ng tube will scare him. Again thanks for your advice.

Dear Amanda, I think its wise of you to have your son waiting for you at home while you're in the hospital. I remember when I was going into the hospital for surgery years ago and telling my little girl i would be put to sleep for the operation. What a mistake. She knew her grandma's cat was taken to the vet and 'put to sleep' and he never came home. Watch your word. kids are so much smarter then moms are. Now when I go away into the hospital or on a trip, I give something special of mine to my daughter for her to take care of till I come home. Now she knows I'll be back. Kathie

DEAR MOTHER IN NEED I AM 28 YEARS OLD AND A SINGLE PARENT. MY CHILDS FATHER DIED WHEN SHE WAS ONE YEAR OLD. I AM HAVING SURGERY 4-14-04. I WAS CONCERED ABOUT DEATH AS WELL. BUT I FEAR MORE ABOUT WHAT MY CHILDS LIFE WOULD BE LIKE IF I DID NOTHING. I CAN'T RUN IN THE PARK I CAN'T EVEN WALK FOR A LONG TIME. I HAVE A HARD TIME SITTING IN CLASS CHAIRS SO I CAN'T GO TO HER CLASS AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE. I CAN LIST ALOT OF THINGS I CAN'T DO BUT ONE IMORTANT THING I CAN DO FOR MY CHILD AND FUTURE CHILDREN. LIVE! THIS SURGERY IS NOT ABOUT LOOSING WEIGHT TO LOOK GOOD. IT IS LOOSING WEIGHT TO LIVE GOOD. I WOULD GIVE MY RIGHT ARM FOR MY LITTLE GIRL I WOULD EVEN GIVE MY LIFE. TELL YOUR SON ABOUT THE GOOD THINGS THIS SURGERY WILL BRING. THE RISK ARE FOR YOU TO KNOW NOT HIM. IF YOU FEEL IT IS FOR THE BEST THAN SO WILL YOUR SON. THE ROAD TO SUCCESS IS NOT STRAIGHT. STAY STRONG AND USE FAITH TO HELP YOU ALONG. I HOPE YOU FIND MY WORDS HELPFUL. GOD BLESS YOU.

I might be wrong on this one but my kids know I talk about WLS but the day I do it they just think I have another doctors appointment. They won't know until I come home. I am sending them to my mom's for a couple of days. She has a pool and they won't even think of me until it is over. That way they are not worried and upset with me not able to be there to comfort them. Personally I feel better doing it this way.