Lord help me I'm gonna hurt him.....

My oldest son is driving me crazy! He is so glad I have a special place in my heart for him otherwise he would be beat (angry sarcasim(sp) ) My husband is supposed to take him to get an amateur motorcycle race license the end of the month, so he is trying to be extra good at home, do extra work with our move and leading us to believe he is doing good in school as well. Well I just got a call from his Chemistry teacher and he hasn't been taking notes and/or doing any work in class and now has an F ! I barely got him to school this morning b/c he "claimed" he was sick when in reality he was up on the phone til wee hours of the morning! He has been smoking cigs and I caught him with Kodak (dip) the other day in his closet. When I questioned him about it he justified it b/c he was wiening himself off the cigs because football season has started but still craved the methol. I was a closet smoker for years b/c my kids would give me such grief for smoking and now he is smoking!!! My sister says I have at least 2 more years of this but I don't think I can take another week! I feel like shaking the life out of him. With how hard my husband and I have worked these last 16 years and for him to have this I don't care attitude is really upsetting. Please someone tell me my sister is wrong and I will have my sweet boy bac****il he goes off to college

JoAnn I have 2 step sons..Derek is 21, hard worker, did great in school, went right from HS to College, now working 2 jobs, no smoking, no drinking.. Devin JUST turned 18, he is a smoker, drinker, slacker type...When Derek was 16 he went thru the SAME thing that your son is doing, and it did take him until he was 18 to straighten out...I hope it gets easier for you! Jen

Thanks Jen I hope I make it lol I don't think anyone has died from disappointment and I'll make it but cheez how could my sweet lil man turn into this disrespectful teen glad to hear that there is a chance he will still become a responsible man

UUUUUGGGGGG!!!!!!! That sucks!!!! Unfortunaely, I can only offer support, no experience to speak of...... -Jamie

The support is greatly appreciated, Thanks! Just needed talked off the ledge before going home to the drama. JoAnn

Wow what a day you are having. Go ahead & vent away. At these ages they are just so unpredictable. Hope it gets better.

Sorry you are going through this, it's hard! I acted like this when I was a teenager & put my mom through hell & back. I turned out to be a great adult! She thought she would never get me through school. I caught my 13 year-old & his friend smoking in my back yard! It was sooo hard to not just choke the both of them. His friend is a great student (his mom is a teacher). Then I watched my son get arrested a few months ago. He is such a great, sweet kid but I know what you mean. You just wanna choke them & make them understand, but we were all there once too. I try to remember that, but in the heat of the moment man is it HARD! L

Thanks Lisa I try so hard to remember what is was like as a teen and give him leeway on a lot of things. I just wish I was better at tough love! Even though I don't feel i could follow through with a lot of it sometimes I think that is the only way he will see how he is messing up. He had a better Friday at school and we had a pretty good weekend so all in all I've made it to another week in the life of a teenager's mom Lol

Man I hope your sister is wrong. My grandson is 15, soon to be 16. And he has a drinking problem and drug (I am sure of it). Last weekend, was the worst. After coming home drunk Thursday night, we threw him out of the house and told him to go and find someone else to take care of him, as he doesn't want to live here, he keeps telling us he wants to move out at 16. We go away for the weekend, and what does he do, breaks in thru a window for clothes. Then decides to call some of his friends, over, who in turn call their friends. Next thing you know, they find my hidden booze, and after they drink it, they fill it with water, 10 bottles. Paint ball in the house. anyways, sometime during this commotion, someone takes an MP3 player, and 5 games that I rented. No one is claiming ownership. I've told my grandson, who spent all day Sunday along with 3 other friends, trying to clean and wash walls, linen, dishes, things like that, that this is the last straw, I am reporting, him and his friends to the police. I don't care. He has told us on Monday and all throughout the week that he made a mistake, he learned his friends, really weren't his friends. And I guess he wants another chance. Mr hubby says he'll do whatever I want, but next time, he's out the door. I've told my grandson he is responsible for everything taken, and the missing booze. He may not have stolen the stuff, but he was the person who invited the so called friends over. He knew they weren't to be in the house, as well he wasn't to be in the house. He understands, it just kills me. Kids now a days don't understand, how good they have it. And they do this to people/ parents? Back in my day we wouldn't even swear at our parents, without fear of a backhander. Mine also misses school. We've tried taking his cellphone away, taking other priviledges, like money. They just don't appreciate what they have.

Holy cow!! I commend you for reporting them. I would likely do the same thing. Tough love yes, but a lesson well learned I'm sure.