Just had to share somewhere
I was at an OA Big Book meeting last night. We read the Chapter, "To Wives." Can I just tell you that I HATE HATE HATE HATE that chapter? It brought up so many bad memories of what it was like to live with an active addict, how many ways I tried to make him see he needed help -- the crying, begging, reasoning, ignoring, understanding, forgiving -- the emotions of sadness, frustration, anger, helplessness, hopelessness, defeat. I was physically nauseous with the memories. I shared about it and cried some.
When I got home, I cleaned something, took some "sexy" pictures for Bill to find today (nothing graphic), and found my way back to the serenity, joy and peace that comes with recovery and that is so prevalent in my new life, knowing that I never had to live that way again.
Thank you all for being my friend through it all. I love you.
Blessings, Jill
WLS 5/31/07. Maintaining a weight loss of 141 pounds and feeling amazing!
Jill
You have gone through a really tough time and yet you are still standing. You, my friend, are a survivor. Enjoy your serenity, joy and peace. Remember something that I am learning about now. You have an emotional mind, a reasonable mind and a wise mind. You always want to think with the wise mind and girl you have done that.
Love ya
Jeanne
Most people hate that chapter, when the women's BB group I attend on Friday evenings does that chapter, everyone groans and *****es, but there is still some good stuff there. . . think Spiritual Experience and Herbert Spencer's quote ;)
Sounds like in some ways it was cathartic for you. . .
Love you Jill
Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Jill,
((HUGS)) to you that you had to relive some bad memories! As Joanne said, you are a survivor!!
Glad you could share with us here!
Beth
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