What is normal?

I seem to always get myself in trouble when I decide I want to be "normal."  I have reached goal and remained there for 3 years.  I felt as though normal meant to be able to eat some of the things which I used to think of as "bad" in my dieting days.  For instance, pretzels which we all know if my downfall.  Everytime I try again to let these things back into my life, I lose control.  I start a downward spiral of craving sweets, carbs, etc.  In addition, I hate myself for not learning from my previous mistakes. 

So I am now deciding that normal is what I make it for me.  My normal must be not to have pretzels in my house.  I may never be able to eat like people who have always been thin because my mind does not know how to stop.  I thought about this for a long time, and I believe that feeling healthy and living life is more important then anything I could put in my mouth.  So back away pretzels....you have no control over me (okay, I am lying but trying to make myself believe this).  Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

What do you all think?

Linda

After so many years of observing all kinds of people I know there really is no such thing as a defined normal. We must make our definition fit our own self. I also have little to no control over certain foods. That is my normal. So no, I cannot bring those in my house.  I thought I'd be able to really control my portions with things I love, but the addiction is all powerful.  So I have to choose to be normal by knowing my weaknesses. 

So true Arlene.  I know my weaknesses, but just choose to give in to them.  I hate pretzels (okay, I am lying again and hoping I believe this).  I am banning them from my house yet again.  Pretzels are my cryptonite they rob me of all my sanity.

Linda

For me it's corn chips.  Jeez, those things are like crack cocaine to me!

Hey, girlfriend!  My feelings on this are very clear cut and are based on the AA Big Book which I use in both my AA and OA programs.  Check out these passages from the chapter entitled, "More about alcoholism."  I have also added OA language that fits.

"The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking (eating) is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker (compulsive overeater)."

"Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism (compulsive overeating) agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker (eater) out of an alcoholic (compulsive overeater).  Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn't done so yet."

This paragraph speaks to me especially, as while medicine has made great strides with weight loss surgery, which I have received a great many benefits from, it still has not "cured" my desire to eat compulsively.

Most of us have believed that if we remained sober (abstinent) for a long stretch, we could thereafter drink (eat) normally.

Sound familiar???  I am not, nor will I ever be a "normal" eater.  And, just for today, I'm okay with that.

I always love your insight.  It makes me feel so much better.  I guess I too must be okay with not being a "normal" eater but being healthy.  I can change my body, but not my head.  I so wish there was a pill I could take for that.  If we could come up with one of them, we would be millionaires.

Thanks for your input.

Linda

 Linda u remember my popcorn addiction, it was so bad I ate it 4 times a day I couldn't eat anything
else cause when I did I got sick, went to the Dr cause I thought I had an obstruction again
They did all kind of tests I told him all I could keep down was popcorn come to find out
It was the popcorn making me sick LOL,
So I m afraid to eat popcorn since October 
Susan

Linda,

So much of what you expressed is what I knew coming into this journey, yet knowledge is simply that, experience teaches us how to apply that which we come to know and as I say regularly, we do not change a lifetime of bad habits in the short time we've been here.  It's awareness, acceptance and action that creates long-lasting changes and for so long we lied to ourselves about things and Jill hit it on the head with the stuff she quoted from the AA Big Book. . .  addictive personalities often think after periods of abstinence that this time will be different, this time I can control IT, we are just wired differently.

Hugs, Laureen