Manic Monday Roll Call

Today is the last day before we have our State Audit at work. The director of the Bureau of Drug and Alcohol Programs for the State is coming for it. I am not sure what we did to earn such a pleasure but we have been in prep mode for a month. I am so tired and ready for this to be over. This weekend had highs and lows. Jason quit smoking on Friday he picked a crazy weekend to do this because I was hardly there at all this weekend. Saturday morning I had to go back into work. Then Sat night headed into Philly to go to Gay Bingo with a friend. It was fun but just getting myself together for the drive there then back was exhausting. In bed by 1am. Then Sunday I have a whole day Reiki 1 class. I felt guilty when I kissed Jason goodbye Sunday morning he was still sleeping, I have hardly seen him and he has been doing this hard thing by himself. The class was great, I learned alot, got some good healing and energy. But when I came home he was fit to be tied. He attacked when I walked through the door like a rabid animal. He was angry because I had left him alone to do this hard thing by himself, he was angry because I did not have to give up my drug of choice and be miserable ( i beg to differ)  he railed on me for a good hour. SO needless to say my good reiki healing peetered out like a flame, and it took all I had to sit there and take it, hold him and be sympathetic. What I wanted to do was say " Are you f ing kidding me? You dont come home from work tired and exhausted to be on the couch smoking a cigarette... "I have to face my demons constantly with every meal and food choice. I am so stressed with work this week how dare you attack me like this! but I didnt. I held it in and let him be sad but I tell ya today I am beat. I am angry. Tired and not ready for this. 

So when I get home I am going to practice my self healing reiki hope I can get some of it going again and try and be good to myself. Sorry to be a downer I am really not that pessimistic but this is one of the few places I can truly vent. Jason does not come here LOL Love to you all. Have a blessed day and stay warm. better things they are a coming.

Good morning all. Nic I'm so sorry to hear that Jason lashed out at you but I'm sure you realize it was his body detoxing from the cigs and not really pointed at you as a personal attack. I don't know why we lash out at those closest to us when going thru things like that - I know I did the same to my husband when I quit smoking - he was ready to go out and buy me a case of smokes because I was zo awful. I hope things calm down and your relaxation techniques help you through it.

We had a great day yesterday celebrating selling our home - we came to a financial agreement with our buyers and now we will move forward thru the rest of the processes. We don't have a settlement date yet - we should know that soon.

I'm home today for the MLK holiday - have to go to the grocery store for a few things and put laundry away and that's about it for me today.

Stay warm - it's cold out there!!

Kathy

Sorry, Nicole, but I don't think Jason gets a free pass for taking out his frustration on you.  Sure, it's hard to give up smoking -- and alcohol, and pills, and sugar, and gambling and sex and shopping -- and whatever your "drug of choice" is.  But that doesn't excuse bad behavior and abusing another person.  I sure as hell hopes he apologizes to you.  This is another reason why I love 12-step programs -- the support we get from people who have been through it.  We don't have to throw tantrums on our loved ones and, in fact, are encouraged NOT to!!!

I'm at work today, still feeling flu-ish and dealing with some compulsive behaviors yet again that I need to nip in the bud.  Still, I can thank God today that I am not drinking alcohol or eating sugar.

Good Morning Nicole & PA:

Nicole so sorry to hear that Jason's quitting cig smoking is so difficult.  Sending positive thoughts out for you guys and for your state audit.

Another day of sleeping in for me.  I did post a photo on facebook of my weekend.  Laying on the couch sleeping to get rid of whatever has invaded my body.  Although I'd have preferred to spend my 3 days off differently, this came on a weekend I had nothing to do for school, no school tonight yeah!!!!

Today I'm feeling the most alive I've felt in at least a week.  I'm heading out to the kitchen to start the chili and cut up some apples for an apple pie.  I might even make a batch of cookies (snickerdoodles) I was disapointed with the batch I'd made over Christmas - need to adjust the recipe for the type of flour I'd used, think I need to add a touch more butter to allow the cookies to spread to the consistencey they should be.

We also have to pick up my car - it's all inspected and ready to go for another year....

Hope you all stay warm and have a wonderful day...

Ida

GM Nicole and PA!!

Nicole, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I know Jason loves you and is just kicking the habit, but it doesn't make it any less painful!! I have been dealing with Steven and his mood swings due to his horrible job. This has been going on for years. It is especially bad when he interviews for a position to get out of his department and then doesn't get the job. I think someone above him is sabotaging his chances of getting a better, less stressful job. I already told you that story, Nicole.

Anyway, I am sure once Jason is over this hump he will apologize.

Today is a day off for me, although it really hasn't felt like it! I did get to sleep in, but Dee had her friend stay over last night and she is still here. She is a great kid so I don't mind. I came into the kitchen this morning to find stuff all over the island. One of our shelves in our cabinet above the island collapsed and everything fell. Of course this happened to Steven when he was getting ready for work and was half asleep. I thought I heard a ruckus early this morning!! So, had to clean that up. Then our siamese cat LOVES to go on top of the fridge because that is where I keep the cat food. So, as I was trying to reorganize and get rid of some things I straightened up and then he came back and knocked everything down including dry cereal that went all over the floor. So, I fix it AGAIN and he knocks it down again...well, at that point I decided to get out some canned food and give it to him. That solved that problem!!
Emptied the dishwasher,put on a crock pot of turkey meatballs, cleaned and organized the kitchen, etc. Still have more to do, but don't I always??

Have a great day!!
Love to all, Beth

 Morning all.. Sorry you and Jason are dealing with this.  It is sooo hard to quit (which by the way, he didn't give me a date).  It will take him a bit to get past the emotional overload he is dealing with and he KNOWS how hard it is for you.  Right now, it is about him.  Good for you for letting him get it out and not starting into whose journey is harder argument.  It's not worth it.

Today will have me relaxing and enjoying the day off.  I will also be watching Siehara to be sure she is getting her chores done.  TV and Xbox have been taken away again because I left the router cord home again by accident on Saturday and her addiction got the better of her.  She was online most of the time I was doing my TS party.  Back to nothingness AGAIN.. 

sigh... 

I'll make dinner tonight for us and then if she finished her chores, maybe we can play a game together.  

 Greetings Pa,
I have been in the hospital, again since Friday.  I am scheduled for surgery tomorrow to drain the hematoma and cut away dead skin. I would appreciate your prayers. 

Hugs, 
Trish

Trish,

You have my positive thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery!

HUGS, Beth

 I have been back in the hospital since Friday and will have surgery tomorrow to drain the hematoma and cut away some dead skin. 

I would a

Nicole,

I can so relate to your share.  My husband has attempted to quit smoking numerous times and every time he is an absolute tyrant!  Whatever thought comes into his mind, comes out of his mouth...no matter how irrational.  Any time you want/need to chat, please feel free to message me. 

Hugs to you,
Selena
P.S.  I got certified as  a Reiki I practitioner a few years ago...isn't it AWESOME?!?