I am back and needs all kind of help

Hi,

I have not been on the boards in a very long time.  I am 5 years post op.  I originally weighed in over 500 lbs.  I had lost 230 lbs. in the first 6 months and then stopped.  Unfortunately, my weight gain has been 60 lbs. which for me is a matter of focusing, the good part is that my tool still works.  I have never really had "dumping" but if I over eat I get very sick. 

I want to get support and start coming to the meetings as that was a big part of my failure.  Where I am looking for help is my main focus right now.  I am scheduled to have my knee replaced.  The surgeon will not do both so I will go through this twice but for many reasons that will work for me. 

My inablility to walk any distance has also been a major reason for not particiapting and not reestablishing my life as I had planned to 5 years ago.  I also suffer from major depression.  I finally have a good PCP and I think that I am on the right antidepressant.  This past year has been tough and I had seriously considered leaving this world.  I don't feel that way anymore, but I am not quite where I want to be. 

My reason for writing is I would like to know how everyone gets back on track.  It is like I have gone blank.  I am not much of a meal preparor, but I also don't like complicated so simple works. 

So I am looking for ideas for re-starting, where and when post-op meetings are held, any one who goes to therapy and can recommend a therapist (in Northeast Phillie, or South Jersey) I am looking for a good therapist but because of my disablility there has to be parking, and finally a support groups for knee replacements.  I got so much out of OH that I am looking for a support group for knee replacement.

My surgery is going to be in Trenton, my rehab will probably be at Holy Redeemer.

I am already packing my sweat clothes and make up as there might be some nice old widowers there doing rehab, lol.

Thanks for any help that anyone can give to me.  I am glad to be back.

Jeanne

Jeanne,

Welcome back and just know that you need not face the issues you speak of alone, the support on this board is still as strong as it ever was, even if there are many newer folks on the boards, they all possess that spirit of helpfulness that gives one another the encouragement to continue on, even when, as some of us have, taken a detour, we help each other find our way back to the road where dreams get lived out and life experiences, good and otherwise are shared.

You don't say when you are having your surgery?

For some of us, getting back on track is about going back to the basics, eating the way we did as newer post-ops, some do the 5-day pouch test, others just pick up at the soft foods and work it from that angle. There are many easy meals to make, have you tried looking up recipes on here, I believe there are some. I will look at some of what I have, as most of the stuff I make is not complicated, but I like cooking and so most of my recipes are of the variety that I took something I used to like and revamped it to fit our lifestyle, but I will see what I can come up with and pm them to you.

As for your depression, there are a number of folks who experience that and they can better talk to you about that aspect, but medication and or good therapy is a key to taking care of that and it seems you are on track there.

If you are interested in our post-op meetings, they occur twice monthly at Barix in Langhorne and if you have a handicap sticker/plate/hanger, you can park right near the entrance and it is about 25 feet from the door, we meet on the 3rd Wednesday of each month at 7 p.m. until about 8:30 or 9:00 and again on the First Saturday of each month at 11:00 a.m. until 1:30 p.m. There is always a nutritionist on hand to help with any of the things you might have questions about and they could probably sit down with you and give you some pointers on just how to get yourself back into the swing of it.

I hope that you will be coming to a meeting soon and I will look for simple recipes I can send your way.

Take care and welcome back, seems to me you're still doing a great job, you had some setbacks, but are still fighting the good fight!!!

Laureen

Laureen,

thanks for your kind words.  I know in my heart that I am not a total failure.  Many times the depression talks and I just agree with it. 

My surgery is scheduled for January 16.  I am not afraid of the actual surgery because I believe so firmly in God and how he only gives us what we can handle.  I am terrified of the rehab.  My surgeon tells me that with all the pain that I have now the rehab will be a walk in the park.  I would love to walk in the park.

I will be at the meeting on Wednesday evening.  My sister will be coming along with me.

Again I thank you and I will see you all on Wednesday.


Jeanne

Good morning Jeanne and welcome back to the PA Boards!! You've taken a major first step just by posting here looking for support, and I know you'll find a lot of it. Unfortunately a lot of us 3+ years out are experiencing some weight gain - I have as well, and yes, it's difficult to get it off, but I'm still down 140 lbs. from where I started and I seem to have 'stabilized' at my current weight. I'm not thrilled about it and would still like to get the excess off, but one day at a time.

I can also totally relate to your mobility problems due to bad knees because I have had both of mine replaced - 10 and 11 years ago. I understand it is a much shorter procedure now, with rehab about 1/2 the time I went through, and the replacements are much better now with more movement and flexibility. Trust me, I'm not dissing my new knees - I love them and they literally gave me my life back! I was young when I got mine done (40) - well, young for that type of surgery, and most surgeons just looked at me, told me I was too fat, lose weight and my knees would be fine. Sadly they were already damaged and arthritic beyond what losing weight would do, so I would go to work (and I sit) - go home at night and ice them down, and go to work - I had no social life because I couldn't walk very far - I was absolutely miserable. So while major surgery like knee replacement is no walk in the park, you will not regret your decision in having it done and regaining the mobility I'm sure you're missing now.

So see - you're taking two major steps into getting back on track with your health and your weight - coming here and getting those knees fixed!! The one thing I would recommend about your knee replacement is to be diligent with your physical therapy following surgery - you won't regret it - it won't be easy in the very beginning, but work through it - they will give you pain meds if you need it, but don't let the pain stop you from doing the exercises. I have a friend who has had both of her knees replaced but she refused to do the PT and she walks terribly and still has pain - I do not, even after all these years.

If you want to talk at all about the knee replacements (or anything else) please don't hesitate to e-mail me. We'll all help you get through this!!

Kathy

Hi Kathy

Thank you so much.  I have had my knee problem since around 1996.  Like you I would go to work, cry my entire way home and just repeat the process the next day.  So the knee surgery has been in the plan for well over 10 years but there were many steps that had to come before it. 

I am not afraid of the surgery, it is the rehab that scares me.  Both of my knees are bone on bone and I can't walk further than 25 feet so pain is not the fear.  It is not knowing what to expect from the rehab.  I fear that unless someone doesn't stay on top of me and push me I will fall through the cracks.

I just want to know what it feels like the first time you get up with the new knee.  I envision standing up and my new knee breaking in two and then being confided to a wheel chair the rest of my life.  I know that there are a million little old people who get this surgery, but there is a difference between a 120 lb. woman putting the weight on a new knee and a 340 lbs woman.  Also what is the difference between the pain I am in now and the pain of a new knee.  Both my surgeons laugh at me and tell me that if I put up with this kind of pain for so long the post op pain will be nothing. 

I had open RNY and two plastic surgeries and I honestly don't remember being in any kind of pain.  Discomfort, yes, but not pain. 

I know my questions will be answered soon enough.  I am going to do rehab at either Jeanes or Holy Reedemer and I am planning on being in patient for about 2 weeks after surgery. 

I just want to know.  It's funny because I was not at all curious with all the other surgeries. 

I am going to attend the meeting at Barix on Wednesday night and I hope to finally meet some the people that I had been talking to for so many years.

Thanks Kathy once again, for your help.  I will definetly keep in touch.


Jeanne

I was like you - bone on bone - as a matter of fact my right knee was actually off the bone to one side - probably all the fat holding it together! LOL!! But your doctors are correct - the pain following surgery and rehab is nothing compared to what you're going through now. I will always remember my mom looking at me when I got home from my first knee operation - she looked at  me and said 'Kathy, you look 10 years younger because there is no pain on your face'. And I think you're making a very wise decision to go into an inpatient rehab for two weeks following your surgery because there are no excuses not to do the exercises and they will make you do them.

I had my surgery at Riddle Hospital and was on the surgical side for several days the first time due to a nasty reaction to the morphine, and then moved over to their skilled nursing side (man, talk about OLDSTERS!) but I was there for 10 days and loved it - it's much more independent but you still get the personal attention as far as physical therapy is concerned. Once I got out I still went back 2-3 times a week for outpatient PT. It was worth every moment and every cent of copay I had to put out.

The first time they get you up it is sort of freaky because you honestly don't know what to expect - and trust me, I fully expected to fall flat on my face!! And I probably weighed about the same as you do, but the knee held - I was able to walk (slowly and with aid) but each time they got me up it was easier, and again, the little bit of pain you might experience with PT is nothing compared to what you're dealing with now.

I miss the Barix meetings - they're just so far for me and I have miserable commutes all week for work, so I tend to not go to the support meetings, but I do miss everyone. Maybe we'll meet in person some day and we can compare scars - lucky for you the scars are much smaller now - I look like the Bride of Frankenstein!!! But I can walk!

{{{{Jeanne}}}}} Welcome back!  You've taken a great first step in getting honest and posting here.  I know absolutely nothing about knee surgery.  I suffered with depression most of my adult life, but after losing weight and getting my divorce, I can thank God that I no longer require medication that that issue.  What I do know something about is re-gain and re-loss!  It absolutely can be done.  I developed alcoholism after my GBS, and had to fight that demon with everything I had.  During that time, I gained 45 pounds.  When I came back here after that 45 pound regain.  I felt so ashamed.  It was hard to come back, but I did -- and in the past 8 months I have re-lost all of my re-gain and am back to my lowest weight/size since surgery.  This tool works! 

Support has been absolutely key for me in this journey.  I not only attend the Barix support groups, and post here on OH, but I also attend OA (Overeater's Anonymous) where I get a tremendous amount of support while working a 12-step program that helps me deal with the emotional and spiritual aspects of why I overate in the first place. 

I just want you to be encouraged today and know that you can get the help and healing that you need to get the best possible results from your weight loss surgery (and, most likely, your knee surgery).  The weight doesn't come off quite as fast as it did that first year, but it does come off when we follow surgeon and nutrionist advice.  We get the help me we need to do that through the support of like-minded people.

So glad you found your way back.  I think too many people do not.

Thank you Jill.  I remember the rough rode that you went through. 
Where do you attend OE?  I tried that many years ago but it wasn't a very cohesive group.  Right now I want to focus on getting to support meetings at Barix and my knee surgery.  But I am also looking to have one on one therapy and I am having a difficult time finding someone. 

Thanks again for your kind work.  Best wishes to you on your return to your journey


Jeanne