Am i bad? Am I being too judgemental?

No I'm not at goal weight,  i've had a 10 pound rebound gain but I am happy and healthy above all!!!  Yes i'd like to lose the rebound weight, and i need to exercise, and no im not perfect...but i see myself as a success because i am lighter and have resolved ALL of the health issues that i had before surgery. 

That being said..  I am finding myself looking at my patients (i work in medical imaging) who are obese and wondering how they got into that situation and why they let themselves be so unhealthy.   I work as an MRI tech and am seeing larger and larger and larger patients come in and not being able to get their medical testing done because they just dont fit into the equipment (and i work with a new WIDE mri machine that can handle much larger patients than standard equipment).  some of these patients are young... in their 20's and even late teens.  It saddens me to see them with so many health issues at such a young age.  I also see some of them angry at society or the medical 'system' because they dont fit into the medical equipment, etc.  I guess its easier to be angry at manufacturers of equipment and medical personnel because you cant have your medical procedure done (due to  your size) rather than face that you have weight issues??  blame everything on society??

sorry for the rant, that wasnt my original intent.   what i meant to talk about was my wanting to reach out and help some of these people.  Yes some are rude and show no desire to even help themselves.. just blame society for not making everything large enough to fit them.... but some have a look in their eyes of sadness, like they want help but are embarrassed or dont know what to do.   I just want to educate them...  grab them by the hands and say " there is help... there are things you can do... them surgeons can help  you... you dont have to be so morbidly obese that you need to sacrifice yourself and your health"... i want to pass out my surgeons business card and spread the word that there is help.

I know that we each have to get to our own "place" in order to help ourselves or seek help.. and some will not get there, just like anyone with any type of addiction.  I try not to be judgemental, but it saddens me to see so many more people either not knowing how to seek help.. or even worse..not CARING enough to seek help.

ok... enough of my rambling....i need coffee LOL

The question is...do you really want an answer to your question?  But for the grace of God...that would be still if I didn't have surgery........and it was me who didn't have a clue back then how I looked and how people looked at me.........I try very very hard when I see other people who are obese (which by the standards of health today I still am, according to the charts) not to look or judge them, that was me so many ;years ago....that was me......so yes I think you should be more sensitive and yes it is ok to think whatever you want, but we on this group have all been there sometime in our life..........and again if we don't use our tool could be there again...this is not a 100% fix for us, we ;have to work at each day....and it is hard......so very hard.....sorry if you don't like what I said, but I see so many ex-smokers,,,,ex-drinkers......ex-addictives that shake there head at someone who looks just like they did before and wouldn't and didn't like that feeling..........I know you have good intention health wise for the people you see in your MRI dept.  guess the best is to just listen to them and if they ask, tell about yourself...I always carry my before picture with me...and show it......if the conversation comes up  I let them lead the way.....you look wonderful I looked at your profile.....good job.........

Denise,

I feel the same way when I see obese people, especially the younger ones. I met someone who was morbidly obese and was only 25 years old. I went back and forth whether or not to say anything to him. As we became friends, I decided to approach him about it. I showed him my before picture and then I told him about the surgery. He was glad that I shared my story with him, but he was not ready yet. It kind of reminded me of me about five years ago.

Unfortunately, we can't help EVERY obese person out there. We have to remember that it is not their fault. I was talking to one of my coworkers who was telling me about a book that actually tells you that there are additives in certain foods that MAKE them addictive!! WHAT?!?!? This puts a whole new spin on things....Yes, they need to make life changes, but no matter how much we try to help them make those changes, we can't! THEY have to do it for themselves!!

I understand that you want to spread the word about this surgery and your success, but we cannot help people unless they want to help themselves!

Beth

They say hind-sight is 20-20'and that is so true. Don't be too hard on yourself for feeling like you want to help but keep in mind that this is one is one of the most personal decisions any of us will ever make and we each have to be ready in our own time.

I know when I weighed almost 400'lbs I never admitted to myself that I weighed that much and blamed restaurants and public places for not being more accommodating to larger people - and to a point I still feel that way - same as I think smokers do have rights and should have safe and comfortable places to smoke.

No one chooses to be fat - but for many the sacrifices that come along with WLS outweigh the benefits. My sister is one who feels that way - she says she could never give up what I have. I've tried to explain that I don't feel deprived one bit but it is something she would have to decide for herself.

I for one am very open about my surgery - I never hesitate tomtell anyone about my journey, in hopes that it might educate someone on the fence or just take away the stigma of WLS. Heck just yesterday when I was af mcdonalds getting my sugar free coffee she asked if I was diabetic and I said no and explained why I couldn't have sugar. But again thats me - I'm pretty much an open book!

Take care - Kathy

I wrote a response, hit a button and it's gone. . .lol, gotta love laptops . . .

Mostly you got to the answer in the last paragraph of your post, try to think back to a time when you were obese, did you want or think you could change it, would have before you finally were ready?  Addiction is a funny thing, it keeps us in the dark for as long as it can (denial) and then if we are lucky, there comes a moment of clarity and if we take action in that moment, there is a good chance we can get out of the cycle long enough to begin the trek to living life the way human beings are meant to. . . happy, joyous and free, which is not to say that we will always feel like we are those things, but that life is about trying to be free to those things that weigh us down and keep us from experiencing the real joy there is in living.

Many years ago a friend got out of a treatment program and called to say that she would no longer be able to hang with me, but if I wanted help, she knew where I could get it, when she hung up, I thought, well good for her, but I'm really not as bad as she thinks. . .  6 months later, I was probably worse and she called just to see how I was doing, first I said I was fine and then I broke down and in desparation, let her take me to a 12 Step meeting and I've been walking a different way of life ever since, however, it was not until I was ready and then it took another 20 years for me to be ready to deal with my food addiction. 

Like you, since experiencing this wonderful post-WLS life, I would like nothing better than to go up to every obese person I see, especially those who seem to be in physical distress over it and those very young ones, who have their whole wonderful lives ahead of them, but I know that I can't help a single person who is not willing and there is a ton of information out there today to help these people, but the disease of addiction, whether it be to a substance or to food, is one of great denial and/or belief that it won't work for me. . .  once in a great while you will run into a person who is open about their frustrations and you can share your experience with WLS, otherwise, shoot up a prayer of thanksgiving and one of wishing that they too find the way to healthier living. . .  I also know there is a certain part of me that looks at them, remembering how it was for me then and being scared that I could be them again, so being compassionate is wonderful, but not always welcome.

Hugs, Laureen