Back in the fold?
Hi 
So I haven't been totally out of touch thanks to the wonderful world of FB.....there's a reason I've kept those of you who have always been part of my FB world, and those who are newer to my page, on it. It's because I do truly love all of you.
There's also reasons I haven't been on here. Mainly, time constraints and previously limited internet access at work. Although, that apparantly has been resolved. Of course, we are sooooo slammin' at work these days, having access and being ABLE to access are two totally different animals.
So......if you'll still have me I definitely need to come back here - I miss you all terribly
I could probably ramble on for pages on pages of what's been going on....I'll try to keep it brief-ish
Work - still at both jobs, even more so now. Divorce ain't cheap my peeps!
The Divorce - Challenging at best, frustrating as hell at worst. He continues to refuse to have any direct contact with me. Mommy and Daddy have been making all the phone calls to me. Which, by the way, I refuse to answer. Because I maintain that we are grownups, and I am NOT divorcing via parental units. The rough draft is finally drawn up - he apparantly dropped the right to a lawyer, so I forsee this going in my favor 100% As it stands right now, he will have no rights to anything including spousal support (which, under the law, he would have been entitled to had he pursued it) One final nail in my coffin came with taxes when I came to find out he lied and his parents claimed him. Considering I worked to support both of us, and was with holding at a lesser tax bracket, I owe BIG time because of it. The way I look at it, though, is that there's no amount of money in the world that isn't worth being out of an emotionally difficult and emotionally abusive relationship.
Personal - The beginning of him moving out was the easy part. Discovering who I am, when the waves are settling, is the difficult part. Huh, difficult emotional journey. Sound familiar? lol I love who I am becoming, though, and have found a source of independence I hadn't been quite as aware of.
Family - Rollercoaster as always
Besides FB, I have made "appearances" here and there - Steffi's daughters Bat Mitzvah, Maura's St. Patrick's Day bash, a cooking class when it doesn't interfere with work etc. Again, because the relationships I've formed here do, indeed, mean so much to me.
WLS related - I have kept myself basically on track. My eating is pretty much stellar most days, save for the occassional slip and the bad emotional days, which, thankfully, are few and far between. Exercise - well - formal exercise - definitely lacking. Again, thanks to time constraints and fatigue. I'm well aware that needs to change and pronto. I do try to get in walks etc when I can.
But through all of that, there has been an increasing realization, that I need the continued support of people who truly get it. Who I can whine and moan to when I'm searching the house like a crack addict for a frozen pizza (there was a recent FB post about this lol), to kick me in the ass when I'm NOT moving the way I should be, and to make me realize how far I've come when I can't see the path I have travelled down.
I know I've missed a ton - huge struggles, anniversaries, successes by not being here. I'm definitely sorry about that. I also recognize in my newest quest to find "balance" that I won't be able to be on here like I once was. But I do absolutely recognize the ability and the need to include this as a source of support and inspiration.
Like I said....still have me?
Love you,
P
So I haven't been totally out of touch thanks to the wonderful world of FB.....there's a reason I've kept those of you who have always been part of my FB world, and those who are newer to my page, on it. It's because I do truly love all of you.
There's also reasons I haven't been on here. Mainly, time constraints and previously limited internet access at work. Although, that apparantly has been resolved. Of course, we are sooooo slammin' at work these days, having access and being ABLE to access are two totally different animals.
So......if you'll still have me I definitely need to come back here - I miss you all terribly
I could probably ramble on for pages on pages of what's been going on....I'll try to keep it brief-ish
Work - still at both jobs, even more so now. Divorce ain't cheap my peeps!
The Divorce - Challenging at best, frustrating as hell at worst. He continues to refuse to have any direct contact with me. Mommy and Daddy have been making all the phone calls to me. Which, by the way, I refuse to answer. Because I maintain that we are grownups, and I am NOT divorcing via parental units. The rough draft is finally drawn up - he apparantly dropped the right to a lawyer, so I forsee this going in my favor 100% As it stands right now, he will have no rights to anything including spousal support (which, under the law, he would have been entitled to had he pursued it) One final nail in my coffin came with taxes when I came to find out he lied and his parents claimed him. Considering I worked to support both of us, and was with holding at a lesser tax bracket, I owe BIG time because of it. The way I look at it, though, is that there's no amount of money in the world that isn't worth being out of an emotionally difficult and emotionally abusive relationship.
Personal - The beginning of him moving out was the easy part. Discovering who I am, when the waves are settling, is the difficult part. Huh, difficult emotional journey. Sound familiar? lol I love who I am becoming, though, and have found a source of independence I hadn't been quite as aware of.
Family - Rollercoaster as always
Besides FB, I have made "appearances" here and there - Steffi's daughters Bat Mitzvah, Maura's St. Patrick's Day bash, a cooking class when it doesn't interfere with work etc. Again, because the relationships I've formed here do, indeed, mean so much to me.
WLS related - I have kept myself basically on track. My eating is pretty much stellar most days, save for the occassional slip and the bad emotional days, which, thankfully, are few and far between. Exercise - well - formal exercise - definitely lacking. Again, thanks to time constraints and fatigue. I'm well aware that needs to change and pronto. I do try to get in walks etc when I can.
But through all of that, there has been an increasing realization, that I need the continued support of people who truly get it. Who I can whine and moan to when I'm searching the house like a crack addict for a frozen pizza (there was a recent FB post about this lol), to kick me in the ass when I'm NOT moving the way I should be, and to make me realize how far I've come when I can't see the path I have travelled down.
I know I've missed a ton - huge struggles, anniversaries, successes by not being here. I'm definitely sorry about that. I also recognize in my newest quest to find "balance" that I won't be able to be on here like I once was. But I do absolutely recognize the ability and the need to include this as a source of support and inspiration.
Like I said....still have me?
Love you,
P
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
Pam,
YES! I will still have you!! I have been meaning to contact you but I too have been busy with that thing called "life"!!
Divorce in NEVER pretty but it seems that he has really done his best to screw you! JERK!!! Thank goodness there are no kids involved!! It is important for you to know that we are here for you and that even when life gets in the way you need to make time for your support system.
I have missed seeing you post on here....so don't be a stranger!!
Love, Beth
YES! I will still have you!! I have been meaning to contact you but I too have been busy with that thing called "life"!!
Divorce in NEVER pretty but it seems that he has really done his best to screw you! JERK!!! Thank goodness there are no kids involved!! It is important for you to know that we are here for you and that even when life gets in the way you need to make time for your support system.
I have missed seeing you post on here....so don't be a stranger!!
Love, Beth
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OMG Pam it is so wonderful to see you posting. I think about you a lot and have been keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sorry you're going thru a nasty divorce - I hope it gets resolved soon.
Take care - I miss your posts out here very much
Kathy
Take care - I miss your posts out here very much
Kathy
'One shoe can change your life'...Cinderella
Pam,
Sounds like you're doing great considering all the life challenges that you've been dealing with for quite some time.
I am not on here as frequently as I once was, lifestyle differences and other living constraints keep me busy. I miss you and those that I grew up with on here and stay connected through Barix support group, as well as the Over Fifty Forum.
I am struggling with a regain and just have not found the ability to get to the gym consistently, as well as having suffered a set back with a heel spur, which is healing very slowly and quite painful, so my cardio has suffered and while I am making better food choices lately, which has greatly reduced my caloric intake, I never did lose weight easily and so it is a daily struggle to get off the 15 lbs I don't want to keep and then to find a way to maintain. My intention is to get a bicycle and ride the streets of my neighborhood, as I enjoyed biking in my younger years and figure the streets in my hood are safe starting there, so we'll see how it goes, I generally only ever showed a weight loss once a month, so I'm hoping within the month I will see one and in the meantime, I do what I can, eat the way I'm supposed to and that is all I can do.
Well I'd better get back to work and I look forward to seeing your re-emergence into the general population of the PA forum, and truly hoping to have a Pam sighting at Barix someday soon. . .
Hugs, Laureen
Sounds like you're doing great considering all the life challenges that you've been dealing with for quite some time.
I am not on here as frequently as I once was, lifestyle differences and other living constraints keep me busy. I miss you and those that I grew up with on here and stay connected through Barix support group, as well as the Over Fifty Forum.
I am struggling with a regain and just have not found the ability to get to the gym consistently, as well as having suffered a set back with a heel spur, which is healing very slowly and quite painful, so my cardio has suffered and while I am making better food choices lately, which has greatly reduced my caloric intake, I never did lose weight easily and so it is a daily struggle to get off the 15 lbs I don't want to keep and then to find a way to maintain. My intention is to get a bicycle and ride the streets of my neighborhood, as I enjoyed biking in my younger years and figure the streets in my hood are safe starting there, so we'll see how it goes, I generally only ever showed a weight loss once a month, so I'm hoping within the month I will see one and in the meantime, I do what I can, eat the way I'm supposed to and that is all I can do.
Well I'd better get back to work and I look forward to seeing your re-emergence into the general population of the PA forum, and truly hoping to have a Pam sighting at Barix someday soon. . .
Hugs, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
I hope to make it to Barix as well - lately I've been at my primary job on the days of the meetings and we are sooooo short staffed thanks to some recent restructuring AND a bunch of resignations, there's been no chance in changing that. Hopefully with some new hires and interns coming on board, I'll have some more flexibility!
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.
No, I haven't. I just found out this week. This week also being the week my best friend of 12 years grandmothers passing and her services. I was heartbroken as I knew the woman well it was as if my own grandmother passed. When I found out - I immediately did not do anything and said to a few people "I don't have another fight left in me". We've battled over so much, I'm not a hundred percent sure I want to pursue it.
Is it letting him and the units get away with "murder" - yup.
The age thing - that doesn't matter. There's a new law in effect that regardless of age, if a person makes under x amount a year, the parents can claim dependency. It's the MARRIAGE that interferes with that law. Also, he lived w/ me till Dec 18, coulda been the whole year practically. The other thing - no matter what - he gets caught in a lie. Either he lied to the IRS about where he was living, or if he stands by that, then he lied to the county college he attended here in pa about where he was living when he was enrolled from sept-dec. So, if I pursue it, there's not a "right" answer for him to give.
I have some (quick but deep) thinking to do
Thanks!
Is it letting him and the units get away with "murder" - yup.
The age thing - that doesn't matter. There's a new law in effect that regardless of age, if a person makes under x amount a year, the parents can claim dependency. It's the MARRIAGE that interferes with that law. Also, he lived w/ me till Dec 18, coulda been the whole year practically. The other thing - no matter what - he gets caught in a lie. Either he lied to the IRS about where he was living, or if he stands by that, then he lied to the county college he attended here in pa about where he was living when he was enrolled from sept-dec. So, if I pursue it, there's not a "right" answer for him to give.
I have some (quick but deep) thinking to do
Thanks!
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.
Pam, the cool thing about online communiies is that they are open 24/7. It's good to see you back. I remember you from my early days on OH and how I respected the way you can be SO direct with people. Love it!
Divorce never ever brings out the best in people. But for an adult man to lie so he can be claimed on his parents' taxes? That's downright shameful and embarrassing! Sounds like the parents are totally wrapped if you ask me.
For me the "recovery" period from my divorce took 18 months. People will say it's a year....but I remember the day clear as a bell when I woke up and felt BETTER. It is an amazing time. Robert Frost wrote that "the only way out is through" and it certainly applies here.
Hang in there, and stop in when you can!
Divorce never ever brings out the best in people. But for an adult man to lie so he can be claimed on his parents' taxes? That's downright shameful and embarrassing! Sounds like the parents are totally wrapped if you ask me.
For me the "recovery" period from my divorce took 18 months. People will say it's a year....but I remember the day clear as a bell when I woke up and felt BETTER. It is an amazing time. Robert Frost wrote that "the only way out is through" and it certainly applies here.
Hang in there, and stop in when you can!
Oh - it's not his parents who are wrapped - it's him whose wrapped by his parents. Always has been. They are walking status symbols and anything they can do - deceitful or not - to get a buck, they will. It's shameful.
As far as feeling better - oddly enough - that happened the day he moved out. I no longer feel restricted, like I should be doing more, or worried about what someone else thinks of me. I'm living for me, and that's what counts. And to do things FOR me is amazing. Am I ready for a head over heels relationship? No, I'm not. I just want......to have fun. And thus far, I am
Thanks!
As far as feeling better - oddly enough - that happened the day he moved out. I no longer feel restricted, like I should be doing more, or worried about what someone else thinks of me. I'm living for me, and that's what counts. And to do things FOR me is amazing. Am I ready for a head over heels relationship? No, I'm not. I just want......to have fun. And thus far, I am
Thanks!
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.
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