Don't know what to do!
Ok - so I am starting this off without a title because as of this moment I am not sure how to address it. Here is my issue - I just came from my Plastic surgeon for my 6 month check up - two months ago, when I was there he noticed that I was up some weight, I knew it was 10 pounds from the summer when I had the plastics. He told me that on my small frame, 10 pounds was a lot, and I knew that - he advised me to lose the 10 pounds, (NO!??!! REALLY?!?!) Of course, I nodded knowing that I wanted to get those 10 pounds off anyway. So here I am, two months later and partly devastated and partly amazed at myself.
I did not lose the 10 pounds, shocking right?!?! But, I did NOT gain ANYTHING, as a matter of fact as of this morning, I was down just over 1 pound. To be able to maintain is amazing to me, but how do I explain that to a naturally thin person who deals with perfect bodies. And, PS, I deifinitely told him that I need to be proud of what I have accomplished and that maintaining for two months is HUGE for me. But anyway - he said that I have a little overhang on my belly. What I then told him was that my belly measurement has not changed AT ALL since sugery, he listened and still said that I need to get that 10 pounds off. I measure my belly regularly and it continues to measure 40 inches from where I measure. (There was a lot of the word measure in that last sentence.....) Anyway - he told me that from his part, he is pleased with the healing and that the scars will continue to fade and that he does not need to see me again until before I leave for my trip to Israel later this summer.
Why do I spend so much time worrying about being perfect? I really did expect to walk out of surgery with a flat belly. And from the beginning I was told that it was just swollen and that it would flatten out - it never did and I am accepting of that. He removed 8 pounds of skin and it is amazing. However, I am still not happy and today I feel awful about myself. I want to go stare at myself in the mirror and remind myself how far I have come, however, I also know that at almost two years out, I really need to be honest with what I am doing. I have not been to the pool or done any formal exercising in 6 weeks, I blame it on the Bat Mitzvah, but if I am truthful, it is Larry. He works typically 6 nights a week and I only see him after school. My libido is out of control, and I have given up the pool to have sex with my husband as often as possible. And while it is AMAZING and we are doing soooo well in that department, It is certainly not enough of formal exercise. For me to get back out of the house after dinner is just about impossible as my children have a million activities that I have to take them to as their dad, as mentioned before, is usually working. And then there is the laziness factor.
I am feeling really crappy about myself these days and find I am not totally in control, and then I do my self-talk thing and remind myself where I came from and to let it go.......I think it is high time I start weighing and measuring and logging again, I have NEVER been good at that and I need to become diligent. I don't know how to make myself do this! I know all the websites that are set up for this and have used them sporatically. And, dear God - I LOVE LOVE LOVE to eat........I had so hoped that that would have changed for me....but it did not!
I am at a loss as to where to go from here and I know that telling you all will at the least let me get it out of my system. Larry and I are about to go talk about it - and I will most definitely feel better at some point and then he will go to work and I will get to be in my head again - all by myself.....crazy right! (PS, doesn't help that I am soooo PMSing......)
I just made the title of this little post up - and not sure if it is appropriate for this long story, but it is where I am. HELP! I guess I need some guidance, some love and some reminders of what we all go through on this journey!
I did not lose the 10 pounds, shocking right?!?! But, I did NOT gain ANYTHING, as a matter of fact as of this morning, I was down just over 1 pound. To be able to maintain is amazing to me, but how do I explain that to a naturally thin person who deals with perfect bodies. And, PS, I deifinitely told him that I need to be proud of what I have accomplished and that maintaining for two months is HUGE for me. But anyway - he said that I have a little overhang on my belly. What I then told him was that my belly measurement has not changed AT ALL since sugery, he listened and still said that I need to get that 10 pounds off. I measure my belly regularly and it continues to measure 40 inches from where I measure. (There was a lot of the word measure in that last sentence.....) Anyway - he told me that from his part, he is pleased with the healing and that the scars will continue to fade and that he does not need to see me again until before I leave for my trip to Israel later this summer.
Why do I spend so much time worrying about being perfect? I really did expect to walk out of surgery with a flat belly. And from the beginning I was told that it was just swollen and that it would flatten out - it never did and I am accepting of that. He removed 8 pounds of skin and it is amazing. However, I am still not happy and today I feel awful about myself. I want to go stare at myself in the mirror and remind myself how far I have come, however, I also know that at almost two years out, I really need to be honest with what I am doing. I have not been to the pool or done any formal exercising in 6 weeks, I blame it on the Bat Mitzvah, but if I am truthful, it is Larry. He works typically 6 nights a week and I only see him after school. My libido is out of control, and I have given up the pool to have sex with my husband as often as possible. And while it is AMAZING and we are doing soooo well in that department, It is certainly not enough of formal exercise. For me to get back out of the house after dinner is just about impossible as my children have a million activities that I have to take them to as their dad, as mentioned before, is usually working. And then there is the laziness factor.
I am feeling really crappy about myself these days and find I am not totally in control, and then I do my self-talk thing and remind myself where I came from and to let it go.......I think it is high time I start weighing and measuring and logging again, I have NEVER been good at that and I need to become diligent. I don't know how to make myself do this! I know all the websites that are set up for this and have used them sporatically. And, dear God - I LOVE LOVE LOVE to eat........I had so hoped that that would have changed for me....but it did not!
I am at a loss as to where to go from here and I know that telling you all will at the least let me get it out of my system. Larry and I are about to go talk about it - and I will most definitely feel better at some point and then he will go to work and I will get to be in my head again - all by myself.....crazy right! (PS, doesn't help that I am soooo PMSing......)
I just made the title of this little post up - and not sure if it is appropriate for this long story, but it is where I am. HELP! I guess I need some guidance, some love and some reminders of what we all go through on this journey!
Steffi,
I don't have a lot of wisdom to offer you. I agree that you should be proud of all you have accomplished in the past 2 years. Look at how far you have come and the inspiration you are to others. I also am not having an easy time of it these days. I have no libido anymore so be grateful that your sex life is as good as it is
I have never been one to measure my food or write it down so i can't help you on that. Just wanted to let you know that I feel for you. Hang in there. Be proud of your maintaining for these 2 months. When will things slow down - anytime in the near future now that the Bat Mitzvah is over. Take some deep breaths. On the plus side there are only 4 months left to the school year
I can't wait for the summer to get here. Take care.
Love, Donna
I don't have a lot of wisdom to offer you. I agree that you should be proud of all you have accomplished in the past 2 years. Look at how far you have come and the inspiration you are to others. I also am not having an easy time of it these days. I have no libido anymore so be grateful that your sex life is as good as it is
I have never been one to measure my food or write it down so i can't help you on that. Just wanted to let you know that I feel for you. Hang in there. Be proud of your maintaining for these 2 months. When will things slow down - anytime in the near future now that the Bat Mitzvah is over. Take some deep breaths. On the plus side there are only 4 months left to the school year I can't wait for the summer to get here. Take care.Love, Donna
Steffi,
Honey, I am so sorry that you are having difficulty with this! You have done an amazing job and you really look fabulous! I have been at the same weight since last June. Frustrating? ABSOLUTELY!! But I continue to remind myself what I have done. To remain at the same weight for 8 months for me is a FRIGGIN MIRACLE!! You have so much on your plate, always busy going here, doing this, doing that. You need to make time even once a week to do something for yourself. It doesn't have to be anything grand. A walk outside with copper, reading a good book, or doing funny math quotes!
You also need to give yourself a break! Alot of this sounds like emotion and PMS! Yes, it is also difficult when a medical professional tells you that you need to lose weight, especially when you have probably been told that most of your life like I have!! I really hate when they do not understand the mental stuff we go through even 2 years out. When you have never had a weight problem, you just don't get it!
I totally understand and empathize with what you are going through! There are some days I look at myself as a total failure because I didn't get down to what I thought was my ideal weight!! I want to schedule to see the plastic surgeon but I am scared that he is going to tell me I need to lose more weight before he will do the surgery. Dumb, I know....
Just know that we are here for you!
Take a deep breath and enjoy your successing!!
Love, Beth
Honey, I am so sorry that you are having difficulty with this! You have done an amazing job and you really look fabulous! I have been at the same weight since last June. Frustrating? ABSOLUTELY!! But I continue to remind myself what I have done. To remain at the same weight for 8 months for me is a FRIGGIN MIRACLE!! You have so much on your plate, always busy going here, doing this, doing that. You need to make time even once a week to do something for yourself. It doesn't have to be anything grand. A walk outside with copper, reading a good book, or doing funny math quotes!
You also need to give yourself a break! Alot of this sounds like emotion and PMS! Yes, it is also difficult when a medical professional tells you that you need to lose weight, especially when you have probably been told that most of your life like I have!! I really hate when they do not understand the mental stuff we go through even 2 years out. When you have never had a weight problem, you just don't get it!
I totally understand and empathize with what you are going through! There are some days I look at myself as a total failure because I didn't get down to what I thought was my ideal weight!! I want to schedule to see the plastic surgeon but I am scared that he is going to tell me I need to lose more weight before he will do the surgery. Dumb, I know....
Just know that we are here for you!
Take a deep breath and enjoy your successing!!
Love, Beth
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I thank you for telling me how fabulous I do look, and a lot of times, I feel it - just not su much recently. And yes - the weight things is still completely frustrating, but right?!?! Maintenance?!?! That is something that I have NEVER been able to do! So I am TRYING to focus on that - however, I know that I need to do better! As far as so much on my plate - when I am NOT busy I spend FAR too much time in my head - and that is not always a safe place to be. Thank you soooo much for understanding me so well and for loving me enough to be honest with me! I love you RIGHT back! :)
You need to and deserve to be proud of your accomplishments, you have come so far and you look absolutely amazing. On the excercise front, I find every excuse in the book as to why I can't find time to do it - so I don't have any motivational advice on that front. The only thing I can offer is to promise....no more monkey bread :) and to remind you that you do have the intestinal fortitude to do whatever you set your mind to.
Love you!
Maura
Love you!
Maura
Maura
Believe me - the Monkey Bread is so NOT the problem. yummy, but not the issue - we didn't even bring any home after the Bat Mitzvah. Thanks for the support. It is crazy!!!!!! I have come so far but still have not hit the money load - my goal - and its MY GOAL, no one elses. And can I live where I am - I think so - but I don't want to hate my body when I am saying that I am fine here. I am so conflicted about my feelings and don't really know where I want to be - some days I HAVE to get to that goal I set for myself, other days I am all about ENJOYING the moment.....That part has so NOT changed in my brain and that is my current frustration! Again, it is such a JOY to be in my head! :)
Well I don't like to weigh and measure and log foods either. But...I think I'm about to start. I have crept up a few pounds that don't seem to be going away...and I also think I've lost track of what I eat in a day. So let's start, okay? I am not going to use a website for now, just a list - so I don't have the excuse of not having time to jump online for that purpose several times a day.
As for the exercise. You may be looking for too many larger blocks of time in order to get to the pool. Can you start small? One day a week (maybe in the morning early) for a half hour of at-home exercise, and then on the weekends?
As for the exercise. You may be looking for too many larger blocks of time in order to get to the pool. Can you start small? One day a week (maybe in the morning early) for a half hour of at-home exercise, and then on the weekends?
I was talking to Larry about the exercise thing yesterday - and while he was all to happy about my being home in the afternoon to play with him, he never said to STOP doing it! What he suggested was to work out a little before I go to work in the morning. Here is my issue with that - and the more I think about it - the more it sounds like an excuse - I absolutely ABHORE sweating - I know that it is RIDICULOUS - just get in the damned shower and move on with my day - but I LOVE LOVE LOVE to swim and don't sweat, well, I know that I do sweat, but it is chlorinated and don't feel it. And, I can get to the pool once or twice a week, I just need to let Larry know and then know that I can still see him at some point before he goes to work. Again, I still need that connection that I have with my husband of 18+ years and know that it will not last forever and am going ot take full advantage of this part of my life!
Sweety you say that you dont know what to do but you really do. We all go through periods where we get slack, but in the end we have to realize that we have to be on top of our food and excercise for life because that is what maintenance is and some of us have never been in that situation. I am a firm believer in that you get to decide what your success looks like not your surgeon. Weight gain after plastics is not that uncommon. I also dont know anyone that was really heavy that got a TT and had a flat stomach after. You are beautiful, and fine, but you do need to learn a way to moderate things so that you can learn maintenence for the long run. Eventually our metabolisms and bodies reaction to the surgery can become an obstacle for us.
Love you
Love you
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