my letter to Siehara

 She has a wide range of wants.. fashion design, waitress, childcare.. 

I think she would make an awesome nurse or lawyer.. but I know she'll be great at whatever she decides to do. 

Well damnit Lisa, now my sugar free vanilla iced coffee is laced with salty tears  - this is a beautiful, heartfelt letter - and what it shows is your UNCONDITIONAL love for your daughter, and that is more important than anything in the world.

I know from my personal experience with my daughter that unconditional love means more to her than anything in the world, and she has passed that on to her children.

For what it's worth I think the letter is perfect...

Honestly I'm not a letter person, There is no way to see emotions, reactions and intent in a letter. Looking into the eyes of a person is the way to go.

"Eyes are the window to the soul".

 Kutzro, I normally would prefer to talk to her face to face, as well.  But, in this case it seems more appropriate to write the letter.  We have tried talking face to face and I cannot tell if she is listening to me.  She gets distracted very easily.  This way, she can read it in her own time and as often as she wants.   I think that if we write back and forth a few times, it will make it easier to communicate verbally as time goes on.  

Face to face in a place with no distractions. Not a lecture but an interaction so you can tell if she gets it. I 've had opportunity to deal with kids that have been diagnosed with ADHD and ADD and found that engaging in conversations that are fairly short, to the point and allow for interaction work best.

I actually have 2 friends that had a miscommunication aka falling out(minor situation). Older educated women. The one that IMHO was in the right wrote a wonderful note that I thought would put the whole thing to rest. It was misinterpreted and only broadened the gap.

PS If she actually wrote that poem in her own words she is incredibly talented and need that talent to be nurtured. I wish I could write like that.

Beautifully expressed, unconditional love is what I hear in your letter to Siehara and as someone who has travelled this road, I can tell you, the most important aspect of parenting at the age she is, is letting them know that all things are subject to discussion, even while you have the ultimate authority when it comes to big decisions, you are willing to hear her thoughts on things and help her sort through it.   That no decision is without merit or consequence, all decisions made teach us, if we allow them to and life is about constant change, that what you are feeling now will change, that all things pass and if you're not happy today, you will be tomorrow and so on and I think you expressed all of that in your letter. . .  Siehara is lucky to have a Mom like you. . .

Perfect! Love you both

So beautifully done. I can see where Siehara gets her poet's soul from.
Now, off to wipe my eyes and call my Mommy.

Beautifully done.  And I agree that in this case a letter IS the most appropriate way to handle this, because it gives her something tangible that she can re-read "at need" whenever she wants.  My daughters and I have passed letters like this back and forth from a relatively early age and we all keep them.  I have a couple of them posted on the wall in my studio and they always warm my heart.  Katie has some of hers with er at college and reads them when she's feeling stressed or homesick.

They don't take the place of face to face interaction, but they supplement it nicely and help keep the channels open in different ways.  Sometimes you can say things in writing differently than you can say them verbally.

Great job!
Karen