What THIN Does and Doesn't Mean
My friend Ann on the SBAAWLS board always has some great advice. Here is her latest:
www.obesityhelp.com/forums/sex_before_and_after_wls/4274787/ What-THIN-Does-and-Doesnt-Mean/
Thin doesn't automatically mean beautiful, any more than fat = ugly.
Thin doesn't mean perfect. There is no magically size or weight at which all your problems disappear. Conversely, being fat doesn't cause your life to suck.
Thin doesn't mean you are better, more worthy or more important than someone who isn't thin.
Eleanor Roosevelt famously said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
So
Stop
Consenting
Stop deciding, day after day, to hate your body because it doesn't measure up to some twisted ideal you decided - in the darkest days when you felt you might never lose weight - it should conform to.
Instead of focusing on what you perceive as flaws, turn that energy into being your body's friend, into treating it kindly and feeding it healthy things. Exercise. Train your gaze on the parts of you that you find undeniably lovely: your collarbones, your wrists, your legs. Focus on those parts, cling to them the way a drowing person clings to a life raft, until you are strong enough to branch out.
I know it's hard. I know it goes against a lifetime of negativity, of insidious whispered poision you've been feeding yourself.
I also know it has to stop.
The rule is this: Do not allow your brain to say anything about yourself, about your body, you wouldn't let someone say to your best friend.
Put down the beauty magazines, they only make you feel ugly. There is no need to watch Top Model. Live your life, in your body, to the best of your ability.
Anything else is madness, My Darlings. Your self esteem is your responsibility - and it is something you can improve if you work on it every day. Posting here helps, I encourage you to do so.
My only request is that we remember that people who are preop, or very new in their journies also post here...and I worry that if we are *too* negative in those posts, if we use terms that are derogatory toward fat people (as society and our own tortured self-esteem have trained us to do) we might end up hurting them. I am not a censor, I certainly believe everyone has the right to express themselves freely. But words do hurt - and I do ask that you think about what you post and who might read it before you post it.
www.obesityhelp.com/forums/sex_before_and_after_wls/4274787/ What-THIN-Does-and-Doesnt-Mean/
Thin doesn't automatically mean beautiful, any more than fat = ugly.
Thin doesn't mean perfect. There is no magically size or weight at which all your problems disappear. Conversely, being fat doesn't cause your life to suck.
Thin doesn't mean you are better, more worthy or more important than someone who isn't thin.
Eleanor Roosevelt famously said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
So
Stop
Consenting
Stop deciding, day after day, to hate your body because it doesn't measure up to some twisted ideal you decided - in the darkest days when you felt you might never lose weight - it should conform to.
Instead of focusing on what you perceive as flaws, turn that energy into being your body's friend, into treating it kindly and feeding it healthy things. Exercise. Train your gaze on the parts of you that you find undeniably lovely: your collarbones, your wrists, your legs. Focus on those parts, cling to them the way a drowing person clings to a life raft, until you are strong enough to branch out.
I know it's hard. I know it goes against a lifetime of negativity, of insidious whispered poision you've been feeding yourself.
I also know it has to stop.
The rule is this: Do not allow your brain to say anything about yourself, about your body, you wouldn't let someone say to your best friend.
Put down the beauty magazines, they only make you feel ugly. There is no need to watch Top Model. Live your life, in your body, to the best of your ability.
Anything else is madness, My Darlings. Your self esteem is your responsibility - and it is something you can improve if you work on it every day. Posting here helps, I encourage you to do so.
My only request is that we remember that people who are preop, or very new in their journies also post here...and I worry that if we are *too* negative in those posts, if we use terms that are derogatory toward fat people (as society and our own tortured self-esteem have trained us to do) we might end up hurting them. I am not a censor, I certainly believe everyone has the right to express themselves freely. But words do hurt - and I do ask that you think about what you post and who might read it before you post it.
My tracker
hers 
Lisa, so much of this is true.
However, I will most likely let it go in one ear and out the other.
After spending my entire life worrying about how people look at me or what they think of me, I STILL continue to do it. Even if I know it isn't true or it's unhealthy.
I know, I need therapy!
However, I will most likely let it go in one ear and out the other.
After spending my entire life worrying about how people look at me or what they think of me, I STILL continue to do it. Even if I know it isn't true or it's unhealthy.
I know, I need therapy!
When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila & salt and give me a call!
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