Fear of regain
Since July, my weight has hovered at 154-155, which is a loss of 103 lbs. in 12 months. I've not lost anything beyond that point, but I am happy with my loss and current clothing size (size 6-8, or small in most things).
Now, at 15 months out, I find myself hovering at 156-157.
And I am really scared. I know it's "just" a pound or two, but it is sticking and I am very fearful that this is the beginning of the scale trending upward.
Now, let me tell you this. I do a lot of things right and I do follow the rules. No sugar beyond 2 gm. per serving. No refined carbs - period. Vitamins like clockwork. Exercise is in place, although I had to take much of the summer off due to knee surgery and physical therapy...getting back in the groove now on the exercise routine. I get my water and protein in every day, and focus primarily on those.
Where do I waver? Carbs do creep in - I rationalize that nuts are complex carbs, but find myself craving them and eating nuts other than almonds (cashews or peanuts, esp. if I am on the road and have to pick up something quick). I yield to temptation in restaurants and order a baked potato on occasion- of course leave most of it behind, but still. My fruit of choice is, too often, a banana. I wonder if protein bars are a trigger for me - I keep some in the house for days I am on the road, but I still think....are these too much like a candy bar? Same with sf ice cream (Edys or Blue Bunny) - if I have it in the house, it calls to me. It reaches out to the old demons, and convinces me that I "deserve" a treat. (Homemade SF ice cream is "safer" because there is less of it!)
So here are my "resolutions" -
I am going back to logging my food, which I have not done in a while, to be sure of what I am really eating.
I am hitting the gym or getting some type of exercise 5-6 days per week, no exceptions. (Which will be a challenge in the next 2 weeks because I am on the road a lot and in hotels...but hotels have gyms, do they not? Even if I don't LOVE the treadmill, I can use it!)
I am going "back to basics" on the foods I eat. We eat out fairly often, and I know what I can order safely. I am sticking with that. Again, with having 6 work days ahead in the next 2 weeks where I will be in hotels, with gruops, etc. there is a challenge in this, but I am up for it. Who cares if people think I am a picky eater! I am also taking some food along - rtd protein shakes, apple slices, cheese, carrots, etc. - and watching the sodium very closely.
And here are my questions:
Is the real problem here a carb addiction? (not just sugar?) Would I do better on a stricter Atkins type diet to purge the carbs more stringently? Dairy would be the hardest thing to give up if I were to do that.
Have any of you who are a little ahead of me faced this fear or reality? (My surgery date is 7/15/09)? How do you handle it so it doesn't immobilize you from doing what you need to do?
Is it possible that I would "just gain" weight back if I am eating properly and following the rules?
Other words of advice? (Encouragement or ass kicking, either way.)
Now, at 15 months out, I find myself hovering at 156-157.
And I am really scared. I know it's "just" a pound or two, but it is sticking and I am very fearful that this is the beginning of the scale trending upward.
Now, let me tell you this. I do a lot of things right and I do follow the rules. No sugar beyond 2 gm. per serving. No refined carbs - period. Vitamins like clockwork. Exercise is in place, although I had to take much of the summer off due to knee surgery and physical therapy...getting back in the groove now on the exercise routine. I get my water and protein in every day, and focus primarily on those.
Where do I waver? Carbs do creep in - I rationalize that nuts are complex carbs, but find myself craving them and eating nuts other than almonds (cashews or peanuts, esp. if I am on the road and have to pick up something quick). I yield to temptation in restaurants and order a baked potato on occasion- of course leave most of it behind, but still. My fruit of choice is, too often, a banana. I wonder if protein bars are a trigger for me - I keep some in the house for days I am on the road, but I still think....are these too much like a candy bar? Same with sf ice cream (Edys or Blue Bunny) - if I have it in the house, it calls to me. It reaches out to the old demons, and convinces me that I "deserve" a treat. (Homemade SF ice cream is "safer" because there is less of it!)
So here are my "resolutions" -
I am going back to logging my food, which I have not done in a while, to be sure of what I am really eating.
I am hitting the gym or getting some type of exercise 5-6 days per week, no exceptions. (Which will be a challenge in the next 2 weeks because I am on the road a lot and in hotels...but hotels have gyms, do they not? Even if I don't LOVE the treadmill, I can use it!)
I am going "back to basics" on the foods I eat. We eat out fairly often, and I know what I can order safely. I am sticking with that. Again, with having 6 work days ahead in the next 2 weeks where I will be in hotels, with gruops, etc. there is a challenge in this, but I am up for it. Who cares if people think I am a picky eater! I am also taking some food along - rtd protein shakes, apple slices, cheese, carrots, etc. - and watching the sodium very closely.
And here are my questions:
Is the real problem here a carb addiction? (not just sugar?) Would I do better on a stricter Atkins type diet to purge the carbs more stringently? Dairy would be the hardest thing to give up if I were to do that.
Have any of you who are a little ahead of me faced this fear or reality? (My surgery date is 7/15/09)? How do you handle it so it doesn't immobilize you from doing what you need to do?
Is it possible that I would "just gain" weight back if I am eating properly and following the rules?
Other words of advice? (Encouragement or ass kicking, either way.)
Lynn,
As someone who is a rebel at heart, I always bend the rules and then suffer the consequences, so I say to you, follow the rules and you should do well, as most who keep it off, seem to deviate very little.
Some regain can/does occur, but that is I believe when we take back control, in other words lose control of what we know to be tried and true. . .
You have outlined a formula for success and with it, I think you will do great.
Hugs, Laureen
P.S. One of my own rules that I steadfastly remain true to is that if it is a trigger food, it does not belong in my cuppards or home. . . if I really must have a taste of something, I portion out one (buy one serving size) and that is it, end of story. Remember it is not by having one of something we got the way we were, it was rationalizing and eating out of control amounts (not keeping records of what we ate, boy did that make me realize how much I really consumed, as opposed to what I really believed I ate). . .
As someone who is a rebel at heart, I always bend the rules and then suffer the consequences, so I say to you, follow the rules and you should do well, as most who keep it off, seem to deviate very little.
Some regain can/does occur, but that is I believe when we take back control, in other words lose control of what we know to be tried and true. . .
You have outlined a formula for success and with it, I think you will do great.
Hugs, Laureen
P.S. One of my own rules that I steadfastly remain true to is that if it is a trigger food, it does not belong in my cuppards or home. . . if I really must have a taste of something, I portion out one (buy one serving size) and that is it, end of story. Remember it is not by having one of something we got the way we were, it was rationalizing and eating out of control amounts (not keeping records of what we ate, boy did that make me realize how much I really consumed, as opposed to what I really believed I ate). . .
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
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