Reflecting: Not Minimizing Ourselves
--Mary Pat K.
Adult children [of alcoholics] often live within a framework of shame. One symptom of this is we minimize our achievements, feelings, needs, or opinions. Behind that is our feeling that we aren't and can't do anything special. So it figures we would find a way to discount whatever we do.
Two words we use frequently are "just" and "only." We say things like, "Our house has only two bedrooms" or "I only got a red ribbon at the state fair, and my tomatoes didn't place" or "I'll just eat these leftovers for dinner, and you can have the steak." These are ways of saying, "I don't count."
But, of course, we do count. How freeing it is to grow to the place where we say, "I've only entered the state fair once and I won a ribbon. I'm proud of myself." Or, "No, I don't want the leftovers either. Let's share the steak."
We give strength to minimizing attitudes when we use minimizing words. We deserve better.
Today, I will not minimize my achievements or needs. I will give someone an honest opinion about an issue that matters to me.
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Thanks for posting this....I need to remind myself to not minimize my achievements!!
Beth
Uh...yea....hmmm.....
I use those words ALL THE TIME and didn't really realize it until just recently when a friend called me on the carpet and told me "It might be something small to you, but it's a huge thing to us" which led into a discussion about how often I say it....
Sigh....
Thanks Laureen
Change is inevitable, but changing for the the good takes conscientious efforts on our part. . .
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
