Afraid of the unknown....

Hi guys & gals...
I have an appt with a bariatric surgeon this coming Tuesday to discuss my getting gastric bypass (RNY), and as much as I want this surgery I'm also scared.  I just want to cry   I'm so confused, I know I'll never be able to lose this weight without it.  I've been overweight since I was about 6 years old and have tried dozens of methods from no carb to being vegetarian (which as it turns out can be much more unhealthy... think cake!) 
I think my biggest fear is change and not knowing what the outcome will be for the rest of my life.  I've hear you can't eat any fibrous foods, but I love broccoli, cauliflower, beans, etc.  Will I not be able to eat those things anymore?  And if not, what will I eat??  I can't drink through a straw because it will give me gas?  How do you take vitamins if the opening to your pouch is only the size of a large M&M?   I guess these are all things I can discuss with my surgeon on Tuesday but I like feedback from people who've actually "been there" you know? Well, guess that's it... take care ya'll!!

I eat beans and cauliflower all the time... I didn't drink out of a straw for about a year... but I only now when I "need" too...

You use chewable vitamins... or ones that disolve under your tongue...

I didn't look to see where you live... but if you live near me you are more than welcome to come over and check out stuff... or go to Liz's for cooking class, etc...

Hi Kelly,

Welcome, you've come to the right place, and you could not be in better hands than with Dr. Pupkova.  She is an amazing human being and wonderful surgeon.  I predict that you'll love her!

You are completely NORMAL and have the same questions as most of us have had prior to taking this step.  Yes, the surgery will change your life.  Yes, it will help you lose weight.  No, it will not 'fix' you... there's going to be a lot of hard work that goes along with it, physically, mentally, and emotionally, to make the change permanent and positive.  BUT... Dr. P, Barix, the support groups (Barix, here, and Liz's cooking class, for example) work together to ensure that you will have all of those things covered and have an excellent "formula" for long-term success.

i had a lot of fear before surgery as to whether I would ever be able to enjoy food again (I'm a confessed foodie).  I can tell you that my relationship with food has changed.  In many ways, I now enjoy it even more - I savor my food, enjoy the tastes and textures, and have found a range of foods that I never would have believed I would like.  I still battle my food addictions daily and have said goodbye forever to sugar.  But I routinely eat excellent and tasty foods, including broccoli, cauliflower and beans.  In fact, even early out, SmartFoods vegetarian chili was one of the staples of my diet.  

The things you'll avoid in the first weeks and months as your new digestive configuration is healing can (mostly) be re-introduced as it makes sense over time.  More than a year or two out and many successful folks eat pretty much like "normal" (non-WLS) people, just in smaller portions.  Most of us avoid sugar (can cause dumping in some folks, and is a major addiction trigger for many of us).  Most of us choose to restrict "white carbs" (refined flours, wheat flours) and opt for whole grains wherever possible... again, can be a major addiction trigger.  I do occasionally drink with a straw now (avoided it for the first 16 months or so), and I take chewable and sublingual vitamins.

The logistics of eating and such after surgery are really not obstacles.  You will quickly learn and adapt.  There is nothing so difficult that you cannot overcome it in order to regain control over your health.  The key is to understand WHY you are doing this and what your goals are.  Keep your eyes on those prizes and you can get through anything.

I hope to meet you at the Barix support group meetings.  Our next one will be on Oct. 2nd (Saturday) at 11 AM ****il 1:30) in the lobby... completely free, no obligation, and with breakout groups for pre-ops/explorers. supporters/family members, as well as post-ops of all varieties.  I think you'll get a lot of good information if you can attend, and you'll be reassured by meeting many of us who have walked the same walk as you.  Please introduce yourself to me so I can say HI in person!

I was a "fat baby" and carried that weight with me throughout my life until April of 09.  I now weigh about 100 pounds less and am approaching a BMI of "normal" for the first time in my life.  My health and energy have never been better.  i do not regret one second of this journey.

Welcome,
Karen

Hi Kelly,
I second what Karen said. I am almost 3 years out. I had the same questions and fear and you are NORMAL. I had Dr. Pupkova she is simply amazing. Please take a list of questions with you to ask her. Dr. P would never make you feel stupid or think less of you that you have apprehensions about getting the surgery. I really think you need to sit down and ask away any medical questions that you have on your mind and like Karen said we would be more than happy to share what we post-op do everyday to live "Normal" life. Being overweight and having co-morbities is not really living it's existing. Just my 2 cents. Good Luck!

Kelly, let me assure you Dr. P is an excellent surgeon, her background is amazing.  Your future will consist of thinking before eating, analyzing what your putting in your mouth and looking at your watch.  You will eat by the clock and you will plan what you eat so that you will know in advance if your making good decisions.  You will receive a Barix Bible that will guide you through your first 6-8 weeks of food planning.  After that you will be eating normal, low fat, low carb foods and you WILL be eating fibrous veggies.  In the beginning things such as broccoli may be a little too dense for you to digest, however as time passes you will find you are able to handle more dense items without fear.  The surgery is a tool to adjust how you eat and what you eat.  Your brain will take a long time to catch up.  The things you will have to give up forever are white carbs, rice, bread, pasta, flour, etc.  This is not to say you can't ever have them again, but they should be reserved for an occasional pleasure.  By occasional I mean maybe once or twice a year.  Sugars and Carbs should be kept out of your routine to be successful.  You will eat carbs but they will only be fresh fruit and veggies on a limited basis. Your main focus will be low fat protein.

I can tell you from personal experience that this journey is do-able, I am 4 1/2 years out and down 280+ pounds.  If I can do it, anyone can.  I am a food junkie, I am addicted to the pleasure of food, the way it smells, tastes and satisfies.  You will find yourself becoming creative to convert your favorite meals into weight loss surgery friendly meals.  You will also find that you will have much more power over food and keep your focus better by attending monthly support meetings.  Support is the driving force and motivation behind you during this entire process.

The people who you may meet that claim this surgery doesn't work are the people who did not make the comittment to themselves and follow the rules.  When you come into this process, you will find a new family.  We are well over 1000 people strong and will just about do anything for each other.  The experience is not to be taken lightly.  We all share a common bond and goal.  Anyone of us will tell you, we'd do it again in a heartbeat.

 

Hi Kelly,
I echo all that has been said about the surgery.  Start making the lifestyle changes now, exercise, smaller portions, high protein, low fat, whole grains, and you will find it doable.  We are successing and making this tool of surgery work for us.  I am four years out, and I hit a bump in the road with an alcohol relapse, but I am back to losing. 

Come to Barix support meetings and you will meet many people who were exactly where you are, and moved past the fear to a new life, one without the excess weight.

Hugs,
Trish

Be not afraid.  As those above have said, Doctor P is one of the most wonderful people I have ever met, so the surgeon fears should be set aside.  The lifestyle change is a major adjustment, but does come more commonplace day by day. 

I would not change a day of this journey either.  I am 9.5 months out and just hit my personal goal weight this past week - I am down 106lbs.  I am wearing sizes that I haven't worn since high school, have energy beyond what I ever imagined and am enjoying things I never would have thought about doing before (going hiking on Mt. Ranier in washington this coming week for example).

On the food front, as Karen said, there is a world of food that was always there, but never seen or thought of that I completely enjoy.  My old foods made a different way (in smaller portions of course) and new foods that have expanded my world in combination keep me very satisfied.  It helps if you like to cook too..

I struggle, I won't lie - I find that my head plays tricks on me and I need to continually work to keep myself honest and accountable, but the pictures of the old me help as a reminder to not allow the bad habits to creep back in.

My self esteem and feeling of worth increase day by day as I learn to be the new me. 

As has been said, do come to the support group meetings.  During this journey I have met a group of people from every walk of life that have become like brothers and sisters to me, an unexpected benefit.

Feel free to reach out with any questions you have - you will get honest feedback here.

Ask EVERY question you want to regardless of how silly (or gross...) it may sound.. trust me - we've all had the same questions..

Good luck to you - we will be here.

Maura

Hi Kelly,

To echo what the others have said, we've all faced fears going into this surgery.  I distinctly remember thinking of all the foods I'd never be able to eat again and wondering if it was worth giving them up.  Then it dawned on me that I'll be able to eat most things again---they just have to be sugar free and low fat.  I love candy and cookies, and I'm happy with the SF choices that are available.  (I gave someone a SF Oreo last night, and he said he couldn't tell a difference from the regular.)  You'll be able to eat veggies---in fact you'll be encouraged to have them.  As for drinking from a straw, I do it now. 

I'm 15 months out and down about 112 lbs.  I feel great---haven't been this healthy in years!!!  I haven't been this small since junior high!  I don't regret my wls at all and would do it again!

Having wls is a personal decsion.  Only you can decide if it's right for you.  We can answer your questions and provide support as you decide.  Dr Pupkova is awesome---very caring and very honest. 

Kelly I am so glad you came to this forum. Some pretty amazing and wonderful people have already responded to you and given you much to think about. I back all of their comments 150%. I am 2 1/2+ years out and down about 170 pounds. And as nervous and scared as I was when I began this journey I have never ever regretted my decision to have the surgery. I also had my surgery at Barix but with Dr Boe and he was wonderful as well - Barix is an excellent choice for your surgery.

I wish you all the best. Kathy

Kelly, I saw your post a couple of days ago but was not able to answer at that time. I want to add my voice to those who have assured you that Dr. Pupkova is the BEST. You are in very skilled hands, and she will be honest with you at every step of the way. One of the advantages of Barix is that you will be very well educated about what to eat, how much to eat, how to handle any issues that arise, etc. Dr. P. gives her personal cell phone number to pateints upon discharge and she is readily available for questions....she WANTS you to call if something is wrong! I have heard story after story of how she supports her patients long after surgery, and even in health issues unrelated to RNY. (For example, she wanted reports following my recent arthroscopic surgery on my knee!) So in a nutshell...you've already made an excellent decision by walking through the door at Barix.

Please take advantage of the Barix support groups. We have excellent facilitators and many more of your questions will be answered there. I began the habit of taking notes at support group in my pre op stage, to help me remember what was said. We will be there Saturday Oct. 2 at 11:00 if you can make it.

Now, about food. You will be able to eat. You will, in fact, be able to eat pretty normally. In my case, very few people know that I had WLS, and no one has any reason to wonder if that is the case based on what they see on my plate at home, in a restaurant, at work, or at a social event. I eat lke a healthy person. I sometimes look as if I am a "picky" eater. I don't eat the way I used to, but that's okay. I don't miss the fried foods or the sweets at all - which I know is hard to even imagine pre op. I have found ways to integrate some old favories every so often by adjusting recipes (lots of ideas for that around here and on other websites).

Now as for your specific questions:
Fibrous foods - to me, this means the tough part of oranges or pineapple. Eat only the tender parts of foods such as these. I peel my apple sections now, too.
Broccoli and cauliflower - no problem.
Beans - no problem.
Straws - it's an adjustment, but not an issue. Drink from the glass. People do it all the time.
SIze of your pouch - I think you misheard some info there. I was directed not to take a pill larger than an M&M, so many vitamins or medications go down just fine. I use chewable multivitamins and chewable calcium lozenges (both available at Barix or via the web).
In general, you begin on a restricted diet of full liquids, then purees, then soft foods. Your amount consumed for the first few weeks after surgery will be 1/2 cup per meal or snack, max. This will be plenty (again, I know it's hard to imagine.)

Best wishes to you, and I hope we are able to meet in person at a support group! Lynn