scared to go back

well gang here it is. I know a lot of us share these feelings but it keep****ting  so close to home.

I ran into 2 friends of mine the otherday , that I havent seen in a while and they both had RNY a year before me and I saw them before I had my surgery and wished boy I would love to loose that much weight. Well when I saw hem I didn recognize them as the post-ops I saw a couple of years ago, I remembered them as the girls I knew 5 years ago, they gained mostly all of their weight back, so I came home thinking how long will it take for me to get back there again  and it scares me so bad. I have a cousin who gained it all back twice his tool still works and he does dump but he is so used to it and now he is back up there again. I sometimes feel that they look at me and say you are next to fail. I have failed so many times before why is this different
. I havent gained any weight back yet but it is so scary. i try to watch my choices. I do not experiment with sugar and I do not drink alcohol so maybe I have a chance not to go bac.k. One thing I do know is the people that put back on the pounds did it by experimenting with sugar you can get sick at first then you gradually add more and more sugar till you dont dump any more. and also by dinking alcohol many WLS patients start drinking to replace the food.
So I say to myself who am I that this wont happen to me also. I have been going to support group meetings for over 3 years and have been a leader for about 2 years and i wonder what happened to the people that used to come to the meetings before and now we dont see them anymore is it because they are so successsful that they dont need support or is it because they have put weight back on and are embarrassed to come to the meetings.
PLEASE if you have put on some weight dont be embarressed to come back, now is the time you need support.
Going to support groups keeps me on track . being a leader keeps me on track how can I be a support group leasder if I dont practice what I preach.
my family is very supportive they say they wont let it happen. If I go back to the way I was before know I will die
Susan

Susan,

You've always inspired me with your self-discipline and inner strength.  Those are the characteristics that will reinforce your determination not to go back and ultimately will be what determine your success.  You have your head together, your methodology understood, and have good (no, EXCELLENT) patterns of behavior that you've rebuilt.  I find it hard to believe that all of those things will just go "poof" one day and you'll start regaining - you're way too engaged in your process for that.

Take a deep breath and realize that it doesn't matter whether "they" look at you and expect you to fail... it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you and your own strength. 

Karen

thanks Karen for  the pep talk.
 and then sometimes I think scared is good
Susan

Scared IS good... healthy fear keeps us honest and on our toes.

But believing that you will fail is the first step to failure.  Believe you'll succeed is the first step to success.  

Hugs.

karen

Susan you are amazing in what you have accomplished,in how  you have endured so much with the plastic surgeries, and how  you give back soo much here and at the support group. my feeling is that this is why support groups are needed. they keep you accountable. Did your friends have any of this going for them? and i agree with Karen you do inspire us with you successing.
PS don't you think Bradd Pitt would say something.

  thanks Cheryl
no they didnt go to any support groups.
I m sure Brad would have something to say
Susan

i agree scared is good. But don't forget not all regain is because of sugar and alcohol use. I dont eat sugar at all and have had some. Sometimes, in my case it is two fold. PCOS which is a constant battle to deal with, and poor choices at times. I know others that have medical conditions that have made it difficult to keep all of it off, but they are far an away better off than they were. Dr. B told me that most people do have some rebound weight gain just because of the nature of the beast.
This is a life long journey and the only way to win it is to stay in the game, like you said dont hide from it get support, and keep at it

Susan,

I truly understand your fears and a certain amount of fear is a good thing, keeps us on our toes and afraid of returning to the old habits that got me to where I was before I let Dr. P rearranged my innards.  The realities of this journey are that if we are not consistent, we will regain, the initial period of weightloss comes to an end and then the work begins and hopefully the changes we made over the course of that part of this journey stay with us for future health and well being.  While I did not want to accept it, there is a certain amount of regain that happens naturally, but it does not have to be much and for some, the really diligent ones, it does not have to be that way.

I have said and continue to say that support is a very necessary part of this process for ongoing success.  My history has taught me that support keeps me on track and is a positive reinforcement, by teaching me what works and how to stay ahead of the monster that my addictive personality can be.

Hugs, Laureen

Susan, I have to say this was a very sobering post, and I am so appreciative of the fact that you are willing to share your fears with the rest of us. I have gotten comfortable with my tool and myself - I don't push sugar because I know I dump and know how much I hate it. I do drink alcohol altho in moderation, but still - empty calories going in. And I know that if I'm not diligent I will also gain the weight back, and I NEVER, EVER want to go there again.

I have to say that my daily dose of these boards and posts like yours are truly what keep me on track and remind me that this is just a tool, not a miracle cure, and I need to work it constantly to maintain the weight I have lost.

I think that just knowing and admitting that weight gain is possible will keep me from going back there again, and the support of everyone out here.

I knew someone who had also gained back all their weight and had nothing but complications from their surgery - constant dumping, foamies, etc. - because they were never TAUGHT how to work their pouch - how to deal with their new bodies - how to eat nutritionally - how important exercise is to maintaining our new bodies. The bottom line is we can never revert to our old ways because that's how we become so large to begin with - and for me I know the knowledge and education I got thru Barix before and after my surgery has been key to my success.

Thank you again for your post - it is a very clear reminder of what can happen if we don't work together.

Kathy

your welcome