abuse of apologies-don't mean to be long.

Last night my DH really pissed me off big time so of course like I said to Steffi I wouldn't let him go to sleep.  I tormented him til we had it out and needless to say I turned over on my side with my back to him and zonked out.  This morning he after being a big EEP said to me I'm sorry and I looked him right in his face and sarcastically said to him "sure you are"! and walked away.  I am so freaking sick and tired of when people say I'm sorry and within the next second do the same thing or something else close to what they did to **** you off again.  To me they are just empty words.  When I say I'm sorry I am totally sincere and I do not repeat the same stuff again.  Am I the only "normal" person here or what?!  I mean he's bigger and taller than I am and call me crazy but I have always standed my ground and when I am wrong I am the first one to admit to it and not do it again but oh not him so this time I am really pissed off beyond belief!  I'm sorry my ass! I am finding that I have so little tolerance for ignorant stuff. The more I get to know my DH the better I love my horse!

Are you sure he was the one that was wrong? It may be a matter of perspective. Rarely have I seen an instance where one person carries 100% of the responsibility.

Take a deep breath. Men and women operate a little different and my guess is he was sincere but we tend to make the same mistakes over and over...........maybe we are slow learners.

I am very sorry you are dealing with this.  Communication break downs are really two fold.  If you are feeling that he is unloveable, you can bet he is feeling that way too. Have you all ever been in couples counseling?

I most certainly am not perfect my point is that when you apologize to someone you are saying you know that something was done to upset them and reconize it and not do it again.  Oh I love the hell out of him he just drives me coo coo.  Couples counseling ?  He did that with his first wife and all she did was blame him and here I most certainly take my share and sometimes more all I am saying is in general if you say I'm sorry for doing something that upsets someone you shouldn't turn around and do it again. Oh we communicate I listen to him and visa versa but when he points something out that I do wrong I make it a point to try my darnest not to do it again.

Ok I'm not saying it's right but a lot of times as guys we will apologize even if we feel it's not our fault or that the fault should be shared equally. Sometimes for us it's just easier then going on and on but it kinda doesn't make the apology as burned in our brain

Our brains do work a little different. I been married 37 years and sometimes I hide my firearms. LOL

 I completely understand what you are saying.  Often I feel like the words, "I'm sorry" are thrown about as casually as, "Hi, how are you?".  Sadly, most of the time people don't really want to know how the other person is, they are just trying to be mannerly.  My DH says he's sorry frequently.  Then does it all over again.  So, after 26 years of marriage, it struck me.  Now I say, "thank you for the apology, but it would mean more with action behind the words".   It has helped him realize that just words aren't always effective and that sometimes he has to work at things.

Had to laugh at the hide the firearms I hide the butcher knife when he gets me to that point and walk out of the room .

my respone to DH is sure you are and walk away because I know his apology has no value because its just to end the arguement and nothing changes so I figured if I said that and walked away I would not be wasting any more of my energy.Or sure you are is the other uh huh or whatever which I know he hates to hear but hey it is what it is.  Men!