Thank you all !
I wanted to thank all who spoke to me at the Barix support group meeting on Saturday and tried to help me along the way to the losers bench. Although I do have a new date for RNY, I am still on the fence. I am past the fear of the surgery itself (for the most part) but have a hard time visualizing how my life will be down the road.
Everything in life seems to revolve around food, celebrations, vacations, and everyday life, and it is hard for me to see how I can be happy without physically eating more than 2oz at a time while avoiding so-called normal food. I tried to hear as much as I could from everyone about how their lives are now and how and what they consume at a meal, event, etc. I was amazed at how happy everyone is and how fulfilled their lives are after surgery. I have no doubt that I would feel much better if I were not obese and that I would be able to do so many more things physically but I still do not know if I can handle the lack of food volume and manner of eating long-term that would be my new life. This seems especially difficult given that there will be even more focus and emphasis on food then.
I know I am still in the process of breaking a lifetime of bad eating habits but I feel like I am going to sacrifice the joy that I get from eating for the rest of my life. Am I just fighting myself on this? Did anyone else feel this way? Is there something better "on the other side" that I am missing? Once you get there do you feel somewhat normal again?
I would appreciate hearing anyones thoughts on my feelings. Thanks for listening. //Scot//
Everything in life seems to revolve around food, celebrations, vacations, and everyday life, and it is hard for me to see how I can be happy without physically eating more than 2oz at a time while avoiding so-called normal food. I tried to hear as much as I could from everyone about how their lives are now and how and what they consume at a meal, event, etc. I was amazed at how happy everyone is and how fulfilled their lives are after surgery. I have no doubt that I would feel much better if I were not obese and that I would be able to do so many more things physically but I still do not know if I can handle the lack of food volume and manner of eating long-term that would be my new life. This seems especially difficult given that there will be even more focus and emphasis on food then.
I know I am still in the process of breaking a lifetime of bad eating habits but I feel like I am going to sacrifice the joy that I get from eating for the rest of my life. Am I just fighting myself on this? Did anyone else feel this way? Is there something better "on the other side" that I am missing? Once you get there do you feel somewhat normal again?
I would appreciate hearing anyones thoughts on my feelings. Thanks for listening. //Scot//
Hey Scot!
We had a chance to speak briefly on Sat. Wi**** had been longer. I understand how you're feeling. Because of my insurance policy, I had to wait a year before I could have wls. So glad I did---it gave me a chance to meet more people who had it, do more research, and realize what was going on in my head. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to eat favorite foods anymore. Then I realized that there's nothing I can't have----if it's sugar free and low fat. I can honestly say that there is no food I truly miss. Sure, when I'm out I may have to work a little harder to find something I can eat, but there are always choices. Have I sacrificed any joy? No, I haven't. I feel better than I have in years!!! To me, feeling great physically is so much better than any happiness I get from foods. Health issues and most aches and pains are gone. To me, that's priceless!
We can tell you our experiences, but having wls is a decision that only you can make. Best of luck in your decision!!! Don't hesitate to ask questions, or give a holler if you just want to talk.
We had a chance to speak briefly on Sat. Wi**** had been longer. I understand how you're feeling. Because of my insurance policy, I had to wait a year before I could have wls. So glad I did---it gave me a chance to meet more people who had it, do more research, and realize what was going on in my head. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to eat favorite foods anymore. Then I realized that there's nothing I can't have----if it's sugar free and low fat. I can honestly say that there is no food I truly miss. Sure, when I'm out I may have to work a little harder to find something I can eat, but there are always choices. Have I sacrificed any joy? No, I haven't. I feel better than I have in years!!! To me, feeling great physically is so much better than any happiness I get from foods. Health issues and most aches and pains are gone. To me, that's priceless!
We can tell you our experiences, but having wls is a decision that only you can make. Best of luck in your decision!!! Don't hesitate to ask questions, or give a holler if you just want to talk.
Julia
yes Scot, we all felt and still feel that way. It really isn't as bad as i imagined on the other side of surgery. At the support group meeting a couple of months age the leader mike said that on top of the physical healing we have to realize we also lost our friend and comforter FOOD. once you get over that loss but realize you can still have most things just in smaller quantities or you have to adapt the recipes it is OK. your pouch will be smaller so you won't want so much. before surgery if i waited too long before eating i would get headaches and feel horrible. those symptoms are not there after surgery.
try some of the changes now. try the dannon light and fit yogurt it not so bad. switch from jelly to and 100 o/o fruit spread, use simply jiff instead or reg peanut butter.
After the surgery the diet is very restricted because of healing. then you eat reg food.
It is better on this side. I can walk up the stars and still breath. I don't have to embarrass my kids by not fitting in a both . i can buy clothes that look nice instead of just what fits. i now have the energy to clean my house. i used to avoid meeting friends of my husbands old friend because of my size now i feel less like an embarrassment to him. the food i give up is worth the losing the feeling of humiliation.
How you will feel emotionally is such a gift. The world see big people as stupid ,lazy, and weak. While we know differently,it doesn't change they way they think. After surgery you start to feel like the world see you differently and then you gain confidence on top of everything else.
try some of the changes now. try the dannon light and fit yogurt it not so bad. switch from jelly to and 100 o/o fruit spread, use simply jiff instead or reg peanut butter.
After the surgery the diet is very restricted because of healing. then you eat reg food.
It is better on this side. I can walk up the stars and still breath. I don't have to embarrass my kids by not fitting in a both . i can buy clothes that look nice instead of just what fits. i now have the energy to clean my house. i used to avoid meeting friends of my husbands old friend because of my size now i feel less like an embarrassment to him. the food i give up is worth the losing the feeling of humiliation.
How you will feel emotionally is such a gift. The world see big people as stupid ,lazy, and weak. While we know differently,it doesn't change they way they think. After surgery you start to feel like the world see you differently and then you gain confidence on top of everything else.
Hi Scott,
I did not get to meet you on Saturday, but I can tell you that there are many people who are very involved in a life that is beyond our imaginations now that food is not the center of their universe. Check out Lisa H, and Pam, and Eric's Roll Calls daily. Being able to be active at the gym, and go dancing and swimming and life's activities. Some people went skydiving a few years ago, others have gone on other activities we would not dream of when we were heavy.
I would recommend that anyone getting this surgery get into regular psychotherapy to learn coping strategies to deal with the emotional side of food addiction. Then, make a list of activities we would want to do, but can't when we are heavy. Set goals for achieving those activities and then also join a gym and set goals for the activities there.
I still enjoy events where food are, but now, I enjoy the people and activities that are going on, and the food is just fuel for my body.
Keep posting and check in at Roll Call so we can get to know you better.
Hugs,
Trish
I did not get to meet you on Saturday, but I can tell you that there are many people who are very involved in a life that is beyond our imaginations now that food is not the center of their universe. Check out Lisa H, and Pam, and Eric's Roll Calls daily. Being able to be active at the gym, and go dancing and swimming and life's activities. Some people went skydiving a few years ago, others have gone on other activities we would not dream of when we were heavy.
I would recommend that anyone getting this surgery get into regular psychotherapy to learn coping strategies to deal with the emotional side of food addiction. Then, make a list of activities we would want to do, but can't when we are heavy. Set goals for achieving those activities and then also join a gym and set goals for the activities there.
I still enjoy events where food are, but now, I enjoy the people and activities that are going on, and the food is just fuel for my body.
Keep posting and check in at Roll Call so we can get to know you better.
Hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
I know it is an internal fight I am having and an emotional battle like "head hunger." I have already been following the new way of eating along with the rest of you for 2 months now and have had much success (20 pound loss) which has made me think that "this time I can do it on my own," lose the weight, then return to normal eating and not regain. I know from past experience that this is unlikely but I am still thinking it anyway. I know that more yo-yo dieting will probably kill me as well which is why I am here. I guess I just need to hear that my internal fight is normal.
Scot
Scot
I didn't get to the Barix meeting, Scott, but Dr Boe did my surgery and I have never once regretted my decision to have it done. As you can see most of us experienced the same feelings you're having - this is life-changing - there is no ifs, ands or buts about it. But if you keep doing the same thing over and over you keep getting the same results, right?
I lost 50 lbs prior to my surgery - 33 following my insurance requirements and 17 on Dr Boe's 10 day liquid pre-surgery diet - when I was being prepped for surgery he said 'I heard you lost a lot of weight? 30 or more pounds?' - I said FIFTY! and then he asked why I needed him - I said to lose the next 150. Because I knew in my heart that the first 50 were going to come off quickly - that losing that much would only help my body in surgery, and I'd be that much farther ahead of the game post-op.
It's difficult at first - mostly for other people, not you, believe it or not! They'll watch everything you eat - family will think you're starving to death (my mother always worried that I wasn't eating enough) - sometimes snide or rude remarks will be made about what you're not eating now as opposed to what you ate or drank in the past - from family, mostly - you'll learn to ignore those comments and realize that you need to do this for YOU - YOUR HEALTH - not theirs. And they will also learn to adjust to the new you over time.
Support is crucial at this time - getting you to surgery and for the first few difficult months of adjusting to a new way of life and living - and after that. Never give up on support - I don't make as many meetings as I'd like to now but I still come here every day and read the posts - most of the time I will post as well. It keeps us connected, and trust me there is something new to learn every day of our 'new' life...we have a new normal now - and being here is critical because we're so unique and truly only others who have gone thru what we have understand what we're facing and struggling with - and learning.
You're very normal - and you'll have a lot more questions - but you've chosen a wonderful surgeon, facility, and support group - we'll all help you along the way - and in return you'll help us, trust me!
Kathy
I lost 50 lbs prior to my surgery - 33 following my insurance requirements and 17 on Dr Boe's 10 day liquid pre-surgery diet - when I was being prepped for surgery he said 'I heard you lost a lot of weight? 30 or more pounds?' - I said FIFTY! and then he asked why I needed him - I said to lose the next 150. Because I knew in my heart that the first 50 were going to come off quickly - that losing that much would only help my body in surgery, and I'd be that much farther ahead of the game post-op.
It's difficult at first - mostly for other people, not you, believe it or not! They'll watch everything you eat - family will think you're starving to death (my mother always worried that I wasn't eating enough) - sometimes snide or rude remarks will be made about what you're not eating now as opposed to what you ate or drank in the past - from family, mostly - you'll learn to ignore those comments and realize that you need to do this for YOU - YOUR HEALTH - not theirs. And they will also learn to adjust to the new you over time.
Support is crucial at this time - getting you to surgery and for the first few difficult months of adjusting to a new way of life and living - and after that. Never give up on support - I don't make as many meetings as I'd like to now but I still come here every day and read the posts - most of the time I will post as well. It keeps us connected, and trust me there is something new to learn every day of our 'new' life...we have a new normal now - and being here is critical because we're so unique and truly only others who have gone thru what we have understand what we're facing and struggling with - and learning.
You're very normal - and you'll have a lot more questions - but you've chosen a wonderful surgeon, facility, and support group - we'll all help you along the way - and in return you'll help us, trust me!
Kathy
'One shoe can change your life'...Cinderella
Scott,
I want to thank you for the very "real" honesty of your post and I truly can say that I understand your feelings and it is best to be honest with yourself about them, because through that honesty will come your ability to change whatever you need to in order to have a successful experience within losing the weight you need to, whether or not you chose surgery. Also, there are other surgical options out there for people who feel that RNY is not going to help them, so be sure to check all options before you commit to one over the other.
I want to tell you that eating 2 oz at a time is not forever, though, limiting our intake of sugar, fats and fatty foods is generally a good thing do, as sometimes it can distress our bodies, via dumping or other ways of discomfort, however, I don't know of anyone who is eating biggie sized portions post-WLS (lol). What happens initially, is that because our stomas are remade into smaller size, through portion control, we get to a place where you get used to making right choices and portion control, so that more often you are not taking in more calories than is healthy in order to maintain health and well being. If you were to go to a WLS friends house, you would see we still have many foods to enjoy, just in limited portions and prepared differently than what we used to eat. Also, remember, most any food you crave, with a little creativity can be reworked to be enjoyed and many times our friends are none the wiser, there are lots of choices out there today geared towards the overweight and diabetic community, so we need not feel deprived.
We talked about the normal syndrome in a private support group of further out post-ops and that is what we fear, is forgetting what we used to be like and resuming old "bad" eating habits, so to answer your questions on that, yes, normal comes into bearing, however, you never want to forget that post-WLS there are still things you will need to do for the rest of your life, such as taking dietary supplements, drinking the requisite amount of decafienated fluids and making healthier choices when you are in the social arena of food. I can tell you that being thinner and therefore being able to participate in life in ways that being obese inhibits us, will far outweigh the realities of the changes post-WLS.
If there is anything else I can do to answer your questions, from the prespective of where I am today, to where I was 3 years ago, please feel free to ask. I am willing to help you, as are many of the others at the support group and here on the PA forum.
Wishing you find the answers for your own inner well being.
Laureen
I want to thank you for the very "real" honesty of your post and I truly can say that I understand your feelings and it is best to be honest with yourself about them, because through that honesty will come your ability to change whatever you need to in order to have a successful experience within losing the weight you need to, whether or not you chose surgery. Also, there are other surgical options out there for people who feel that RNY is not going to help them, so be sure to check all options before you commit to one over the other.
I want to tell you that eating 2 oz at a time is not forever, though, limiting our intake of sugar, fats and fatty foods is generally a good thing do, as sometimes it can distress our bodies, via dumping or other ways of discomfort, however, I don't know of anyone who is eating biggie sized portions post-WLS (lol). What happens initially, is that because our stomas are remade into smaller size, through portion control, we get to a place where you get used to making right choices and portion control, so that more often you are not taking in more calories than is healthy in order to maintain health and well being. If you were to go to a WLS friends house, you would see we still have many foods to enjoy, just in limited portions and prepared differently than what we used to eat. Also, remember, most any food you crave, with a little creativity can be reworked to be enjoyed and many times our friends are none the wiser, there are lots of choices out there today geared towards the overweight and diabetic community, so we need not feel deprived.
We talked about the normal syndrome in a private support group of further out post-ops and that is what we fear, is forgetting what we used to be like and resuming old "bad" eating habits, so to answer your questions on that, yes, normal comes into bearing, however, you never want to forget that post-WLS there are still things you will need to do for the rest of your life, such as taking dietary supplements, drinking the requisite amount of decafienated fluids and making healthier choices when you are in the social arena of food. I can tell you that being thinner and therefore being able to participate in life in ways that being obese inhibits us, will far outweigh the realities of the changes post-WLS.
If there is anything else I can do to answer your questions, from the prespective of where I am today, to where I was 3 years ago, please feel free to ask. I am willing to help you, as are many of the others at the support group and here on the PA forum.
Wishing you find the answers for your own inner well being.
Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Scot,
Many of us have struggled with sooooo many of those same thoughts and fears. A few words that may or may not make sense right now (probably more along the lines of not)
A) The celebrations become about what they are MEANT to be...family and friends. Easter, for example (I don't know your faith, so please understand that it's just a generalized term for this post) was not meant to be about chocolate bunnies and tye dyed eggs. It was to rejoice in a faith's beliefs that their savior had risen for them....What the heck this has to do with chocolate and jelly beans I'll never know.
B) You aren't ALWAYS going to eat 2 ounces at a time. I eat very "normally" now...three years out. I did NOT eat normally as a morbidly obese person. A full pizza is not normal. A bag (regular size) of doritos is not normal. Nor is four plumbs in a sitting as a preschooler (which I did)
I'm sorry I didn't get to come to Barix on Saturday. I'm really bummed you were there as I've really enjoyed following your journey thus far and am amazed at your committment.
Bottom line...fears are normal. It's an unknown, a long journey, and scary as heck. And the journey itself is not all rainbows and glitter...and you can tell that as I believe this board is fantastic in putting up their struggles as well as their successes. And there are days that just SUCK. But....in the end...so many more that outweigh (no pun intended....) them there's almost not a comparison. But, if you are absolutely completely unsettled and cannot come to terms with at least some of these things...the time may not be right for you. Only you can make that decision. And I'm a firm believer in this is only worth it when you are 100000% ready. And one day, when you are, it will just hit you.
Oh, and by expressing everything here? FANTASTIC!
P
Many of us have struggled with sooooo many of those same thoughts and fears. A few words that may or may not make sense right now (probably more along the lines of not)
A) The celebrations become about what they are MEANT to be...family and friends. Easter, for example (I don't know your faith, so please understand that it's just a generalized term for this post) was not meant to be about chocolate bunnies and tye dyed eggs. It was to rejoice in a faith's beliefs that their savior had risen for them....What the heck this has to do with chocolate and jelly beans I'll never know.
B) You aren't ALWAYS going to eat 2 ounces at a time. I eat very "normally" now...three years out. I did NOT eat normally as a morbidly obese person. A full pizza is not normal. A bag (regular size) of doritos is not normal. Nor is four plumbs in a sitting as a preschooler (which I did)
I'm sorry I didn't get to come to Barix on Saturday. I'm really bummed you were there as I've really enjoyed following your journey thus far and am amazed at your committment.
Bottom line...fears are normal. It's an unknown, a long journey, and scary as heck. And the journey itself is not all rainbows and glitter...and you can tell that as I believe this board is fantastic in putting up their struggles as well as their successes. And there are days that just SUCK. But....in the end...so many more that outweigh (no pun intended....) them there's almost not a comparison. But, if you are absolutely completely unsettled and cannot come to terms with at least some of these things...the time may not be right for you. Only you can make that decision. And I'm a firm believer in this is only worth it when you are 100000% ready. And one day, when you are, it will just hit you.
Oh, and by expressing everything here? FANTASTIC!
P
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
Scott,
I haven't been here for a while, but felt I should post given that I'm still in the midst of "my journey". I'm a little over 7 months out ....... and while it feels odd at times when I see other folks chowing ...... can't say I miss it. It seems like folks have diffent concerns and/or priorities ....... I'm just scared ****less that I'll somehow screw this up. Hits me every time I plateau. I know stalls happen, but I still stress about it every time.
As to regrets .............. just wish I'd done this a looooong time a go.
I haven't been here for a while, but felt I should post given that I'm still in the midst of "my journey". I'm a little over 7 months out ....... and while it feels odd at times when I see other folks chowing ...... can't say I miss it. It seems like folks have diffent concerns and/or priorities ....... I'm just scared ****less that I'll somehow screw this up. Hits me every time I plateau. I know stalls happen, but I still stress about it every time.
As to regrets .............. just wish I'd done this a looooong time a go.
Most Active
Recent Topics
