Hey--Thank you and update

Hey ya'll--
Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who offered advice and hugs to me regarding my last post...sorry it took me a few days to get back on...laptop crashed AGAIN...uggg...just one more thing on my mind...

Anyways, I am def going to be calling a certain therapist with WLS experience as soon as I get back from a vacation...my dad is flying me down to his place so I can regroup and relax away from the chaos here.  It has been a stressful summer and I need to get away and recharge my batteries because there will be more to deal with in the coming months in regards to the vandalism and other (more frightening) incident that happened...ets just say I made it thru that part and now need to be ready to deal with the next part and I need to be strong to get thru it all. 

There are times when I really do miss my quiet life...there has been an incredible amount of attention paid to me since losing over 176lbs...some flattering some downright scary...do I want to be that big girl again? Noooo...I enjoy how healthy I feel...free from pain and able to do things I never would have before...but there are definitely things I never accounted for...never dreamed would happen...the overt attention from the opposite sex is just one rather confusing aspect for me....the fact that sometimes I look in the mirror and still see that big girl...the overwhelming need inside me now to do more and be more since I have been given this second chance...I don't know I am just rambling on now--sorry!!!!

But I should have access to a working computer while I am away and so I will be checking in...I just wanted to say THANK YOU. It is nice to know that even when I can't be here and post everyday--you all still care...love u!!!

Much luv!
Laura

Ramble on Laura....you deserve a place to let it out

Take some pictures while you are at Dad's.   They might help you in seeing you as you are now.  I remember just after I hit my goal and had the pic taken for work that is my avi all I could see in it was FAT, FAT, FAT.   (My husband made me put in on here, he loves it.)   For maybe six months or so I just thought that was the most awful fat girl pic; I could pull apart all the wrong things I saw in it.   Mind you it was 136lbs down from my highest; imagine my thinking I was prettier then??   How F'd up in the head was I?   One day I was cleaning off his bureau where he displays this pic and had to move it and poof, I saw it "straight on" and thought "not too bad".     It's amazing that our minds are behind our bodies in adjustment on this journey.     As for the physical part that you can do more, embrace it, you've got lost time to make us for; just be careful not to break anything.      Continued strength to you.....

Hey Laura, we're all out here for you - good times and bad - we do get concerned when you don't post for a while but realize life is handing you a lot (too much?) to deal with right now, so many prayers and hugs of support coming your way.

Sometimes I think we'll always be the 'little fat girl' deep inside and that may be a good thing for keeping us from going down that path again - the attention can be a double-edged sword, tho, as you're finding out - on one hand its very flattering but on the other its sh*tty that so much attention is paid to people who are not so 'fluffy'...but you will adjust and learn how to deal with it.

Take care - have a wonderful vacation and try to relax, regroup, and re-energize for this next phase coming along.

Hugs - Kathy