Concern and Annoyance with Sister...Lap Band Patient

As I shared a few weeks ago, my sister had lap-band surgery in June.  She started and stopped the approval process over and over again for a few years, before finally sticking with it and having the surgery.  She opted for lap-band because she has survived blood clots in her lungs and leg, and has a clotting disorder, so the shorter the surgery, the safer.  

Here is what I do not get about lap-band surgery.  She started on solid food last week, which is way sooner than those of us who has the bypass.  But, my concern stems from what I have observed her stick into her mouth this past week.  At the Phillies game on Thursday, she had soft pretzels, french fries, and ice cream.  ACK!!!!!  Less than a month after surgery.  She also insists on drinking Propel fitness water, which contains sugar.  

I know that she hardly walks at all, and I have invited her to be a guest at my gym, and it falls on deaf ears.  

I am venting because I am concerned.  I have already buried two brothers in the past four years, and she is my only living sibling.  Am I missing something, or are lap banders allowed to eat those foods early out of surgery. Are there exercise guidelines she should follow? Her surgeon was Dr. Demsey at Jeanes.  What really annoyed me was she got me a spoon to share the ice cream with me.  Argh!!!  

Thanks for letting me vent. 

Obviously...I am not a lap bander (had ya noticed? lol)  I *believe* they might be allowed to have these foods..but are probably strongly reccommended to NOT eat them..especially all in one night.  They don't have nearly as much healing to do as us rny-ers did internally.  There was no cutting, no stapling..."just" slipping the band around to create the smaller pouch....

Her actions will have consequences...IE...what will no doubtedly be reported by her as "the surgery didn't work for me" and I can pretty much assume that if she stays on this path, her weight will not go down, and her quality of life will not go up.  because in the end, for ALL of us, it's all about calories in vs calories out....

You are concerned because you love her - and that is obviously a good thing...and you can offer her support, words of wisdom, and continue to offer things like the guest pass to the gym, but as you are very well aware, only SHE can choose to change her life.

Hello Trish,

You could email her those two very helpful posts you put up here the other day.  They are both on my fridge as a reminder.

Cyd

Lapbanders aren't nearly as restricted as we are, especially when it comes to sugar and fatty foods. It doesn't sound like your sister is taking the surgery seriously, and sadly that will probably mean failure on her part.. But let's give her the benefit of the doubt - a good friend of mine had lapband years ago and when they first do it they don't 'fill' the band - they let your body adjust to it. Your sister should be going back for her first 'fill' soon, which will tighten the band and not allow her to eat as much. BUT, if she's not slowing down now or trying to change her eating habits the fill will only annoy her and she won't have it done anymore.

My friend lost 40 lbs, which is wonderful, but she is the first to admit that she needs to lose at least 60 more - but she and her husband eat almost every meal out - while she does work out she hasn't really changed her eating habits.

I know how difficult it is to have heart-to-heart talks with a sibling - I would love to sit down with my sister and tout the benefits of WLS, but I know that's never going to happen unless she approaches me first. She has told me she's very proud of me and my accomplishments, but she says she could never do it. Sadly her weight continues to increase and is causing her a lot of pain and discomfort, and I worry about her stress level as well.

Maybe try to encourage her to join a lapband support group on here - if she hears others talking about it, their successes, what has to be done, etc., it might put her in a better frame of mind to make her band work.

I have had the lapband for over 4 years now.  Yes - we can eat whatever we want... but just because you can doesn't mean you should.  My eyes bugged out of my head when I read she had soft pretzels, french fries, and ice cream.   I can barely remember 4 years ago but I think I was on two weeks liquids, two weeks mushy and them two weeks soft before I was able to introduce solids and I was so afraid to eat anything. 

Depending on where she went she probably doesn't have a fill yet.  I can tell you that after a fill she should not be able to eat a pretzel or french fries.  The ice cream is a slider food and will always go down.  The band only limits the portion of food I can eat - sugar does not effect me.  To be successful she will need to eat solid protein and let go of the crappy white carbs.  Easier said than done.

The band will only take you so far... you have to exercise along the way or you are't going to get very far.  I would be happy to talk with her if you think it would help.  : )

Thanks.  You confirmed what I thought was the way things were supposed to go.  She had steak the other night, which is at least protein.  I just thought she was supposed to be on a post-op diet for a few more weeks.

I know that she can consume sugar without getting sick.  I just don't think it is a wise choice, especially this soon.  She also has had several diet Cokes, and yet when she had the surery, she told me she would not be able to have soda anymore.  Hmmm.

Thanks again.

Trish

I am telling you from my own experience - once I reached good restriction I could not eat anything doughy -> breads, pretzels, donuts, bagels... you get it I am sure.  The pain some foods induce make me swear I will never eat them again.  She will learn what works for her.

As for the sugar, I wish I never reintroduced it into my life.  Something I haven't had is soda.  It just hurts because of the carbonation.  Again, everyone is different and she will learn what works for her.

Trisha, maybe you could bring her to a Saturday support group at Barix. There is usually a breakout group for banders. Believe me, I understand your concern, but please don't let her become a crazy maker in your life. You can express concern, buy as you know you cannot control her choices and actions. Hang in there!

Trish,
I don't know much about what lap-banders restrictions are but sit her down and have a heart to heart tell her you love her and want her to suceed in her Weight loss journey and I second whay Lynn said she needs ot get to Barix for lap-bander's support group. She can benefit a lot from other people's experience. Good Luck Trish and keep us updated. Oh and vent away. LOL

Hi Trish,
Does your sister go to the First Tuesday support group meetings @ Jeanes?  I know one of the women that works in Dr. Dempsey's office is also a lapbander and is full of information.  She might be someone your sister might want to take the time to talk to.  I can't remember her name at the moment but once I do I'll send it to you. 
Jeanes' support group meetings are not a good as the Barix meetings, I did find they are a good source of support when I need it.
Ida